1 00:00:02,052 --> 00:00:03,619 No one wants to publish your book. 2 00:00:03,637 --> 00:00:05,054 This is a big fuckin' bummer. 3 00:00:05,089 --> 00:00:07,456 I could really use an influx of "cashish" right about now. 4 00:00:07,475 --> 00:00:09,826 Runkle, quit beating your meat. 5 00:00:09,860 --> 00:00:12,061 Hank Moody, Sue Collini. 6 00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:13,813 - Becca's dad, right? - Yikes. 7 00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:14,848 Chelsea's mom? 8 00:00:14,899 --> 00:00:16,683 Hey, speak of the she-devils. 9 00:00:16,734 --> 00:00:18,184 Can I go over to Chelsea's? 10 00:00:18,235 --> 00:00:20,320 Actually, stay for dinner. Hank Moody... 11 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,856 I'd like to introduce you to Richard Bates, the writer. 12 00:00:22,907 --> 00:00:24,691 He's going to be teaching here this year. 13 00:00:24,742 --> 00:00:26,309 Big fan. Drink with me. 14 00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:27,977 Ten years' sobriety down the drain. 15 00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:29,579 - Fuck me. - I can't afford 16 00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:30,864 to keep paying rent and mortgage 17 00:00:30,915 --> 00:00:32,448 at the same time, okay? 18 00:00:32,482 --> 00:00:34,334 - I'll just... I'll move back in. - This can't be right. 19 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:35,335 It's within his right. 20 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:36,536 Oh! Yes! 21 00:00:36,587 --> 00:00:38,588 You're the Dean of this fine institute 22 00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:40,156 - of fancy book learning? - Correct. 23 00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:43,593 Who wants to see me talk and do the pee-pee dance? 24 00:00:44,628 --> 00:00:46,763 Let's get your clothes. 25 00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:48,181 What about Bates? 26 00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:49,516 Is he gonna be able to do his thing? 27 00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:52,168 From rehab? I doubt it. 28 00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:53,836 You wouldn't happen to know 29 00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:56,339 of any other bad boy novelists 30 00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:59,025 looking for a teaching gig, would you? 31 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,461 Mm! 32 00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:20,029 Yes, Marcy. 33 00:01:20,047 --> 00:01:21,998 How are things at work, teach? 34 00:01:22,032 --> 00:01:24,467 Excellent question, cougar smurf. 35 00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:26,753 Aside from the fact that I generally loathe young people, 36 00:01:26,804 --> 00:01:28,304 it's a pretty cush gig. 37 00:01:28,339 --> 00:01:30,757 And we're keeping our hands off the young nubiles, are we? 38 00:01:30,808 --> 00:01:31,841 Please. 39 00:01:31,875 --> 00:01:33,259 Teenage girls are greatly overrated. 40 00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:35,711 Present company excepted, of course. 41 00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:40,266 Of course. 42 00:01:40,317 --> 00:01:41,484 Are you okay over there? 43 00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:43,269 Are you stroking out or something? 44 00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:44,487 Oh, whatever do you mean? 45 00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,189 You're grinning like a mongoloid. 46 00:01:46,223 --> 00:01:48,107 No, I think I'm just feeling grateful. 47 00:01:48,158 --> 00:01:49,558 This seems like old times, don't it? 48 00:01:49,577 --> 00:01:51,327 Here we go. 49 00:01:51,362 --> 00:01:52,612 Truth be told, 50 00:01:52,663 --> 00:01:54,447 I remember the food being a hell of a lot better. 51 00:01:54,498 --> 00:01:55,448 What about this steak? 52 00:01:55,499 --> 00:01:57,000 Tastes like prison ass. 53 00:01:57,034 --> 00:01:58,668 Becca. Miss. 54 00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:01,588 You're not eating. What's wrong with you? 55 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,506 Nothing. I'm on a diet. 56 00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:04,757 What? 57 00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,843 Hey, you are a beautiful, young, white woman. 58 00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:08,261 Remember that. 59 00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:09,578 You do not need to be on a diet. 60 00:02:09,597 --> 00:02:11,047 Dad, I could easily lose ten pounds. 61 00:02:11,081 --> 00:02:12,382 Your mother would kill me 62 00:02:12,416 --> 00:02:13,766 if you develop an eating disorder. 63 00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:16,085 I like me a big girl. 64 00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:17,353 Yeah, before Marcy here, 65 00:02:17,388 --> 00:02:19,422 most of my girlfriends were somewhat zaftig. 66 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:20,556 Yeah, I remember that. 67 00:02:20,590 --> 00:02:22,058 Your apartment was like half off at lane bryant. 68 00:02:22,092 --> 00:02:23,443 That's right, that's right. 69 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,895 Big and getable. That's the way I liked 'em. 70 00:02:25,929 --> 00:02:27,930 And then old half-pint here came along and... 71 00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:30,867 Oh, God. Please cut the sweet talk, will you? 72 00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:32,268 We're not together. 73 00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:34,287 We're living together. There is a huge difference. 74 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,772 Hey, hey. I've made my intentions known. 75 00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:38,774 Love will find a way. 76 00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:41,961 No, no, no, no. Sit. 77 00:02:41,996 --> 00:02:44,047 Sit, relax, eat, enjoy. 78 00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:46,416 Mwah. I will get it. 79 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:52,472 I'm sorry, my nubian brother. 80 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,223 We're right in the middle of dinner. 81 00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:55,842 We're not interested this evening. Ta. 82 00:02:55,893 --> 00:02:57,176 Not interested in what, exactly? 83 00:02:57,227 --> 00:02:59,062 Whatever it is you're selling, brother. 84 00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:01,597 Let me guess. Magazine subscriptions? 85 00:03:01,631 --> 00:03:02,631 I'm here for Marcy. 86 00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:05,518 Marcy? My wife? 87 00:03:05,569 --> 00:03:09,355 I'm here to pick up Marcy. For our date. 88 00:03:09,406 --> 00:03:10,356 Hi. 89 00:03:10,407 --> 00:03:13,826 Thank you. 90 00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:18,081 See you around, my nubian brother. 91 00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:12,034 "The shy, talented vampire 92 00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:14,804 looked up to hiscenturies-old mentor. 93 00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:16,973 Even in the twilight of his eternal youth, 94 00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:19,592 the old man was wicked-smart and roguishly handsome, 95 00:04:19,643 --> 00:04:23,563 a glint of the devil flickering in his beautiful, undead eyes. 96 00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,398 The young vampire knew there was much to be learned 97 00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,517 from his blood-sucking mentor... 98 00:04:27,551 --> 00:04:31,487 how to live, how to feed, how to fuck. 99 00:04:31,522 --> 00:04:33,406 But the boy was hungry. 100 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,274 Ravenous, actually. 101 00:04:35,325 --> 00:04:36,859 Soon he would have to feed, 102 00:04:36,893 --> 00:04:38,861 and feed he would. 103 00:04:38,895 --> 00:04:41,664 The moronic frat boys that mocked him on a daily basis 104 00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:43,533 were good for something at least." 105 00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:55,578 I... I'm just texting with my daughter. 106 00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:58,131 It's the only time she actually acknowledges my existence. 107 00:04:58,182 --> 00:05:00,916 Okay, so what about Balt's story? 108 00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:03,102 I heard something about vampires and frat boys and cum, 109 00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:04,303 so I'm half-chubbed. 110 00:05:04,354 --> 00:05:07,940 How about the rest of you spoiled, rich kids? 111 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,942 Someone? 112 00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:12,028 Anyone? 113 00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:16,065 Bueller? Bueller? 114 00:05:16,099 --> 00:05:20,736 Bueller. What say ye, Jackie? 115 00:05:20,770 --> 00:05:21,871 He's my roommate. 116 00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:23,623 He'll get mad at me. 117 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,291 Maybe, but ultimately he'll thank you 118 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:28,327 for having the balls to say something of substance. 119 00:05:28,378 --> 00:05:29,412 Okay. 120 00:05:29,446 --> 00:05:32,215 Well, I've told him a thousand times 121 00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:34,133 he needs to drop the vampire bullshit. 122 00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:35,635 It's stupid. 123 00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:37,720 You're not a fucking creature of the night, Balt. 124 00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:38,721 Says you, slut. 125 00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:39,955 See? What'd I tell you? 126 00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:41,224 Anything else? 127 00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:45,144 Well, uh, there was an awful lot of talk about fucking, 128 00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:46,462 but no actual sex. 129 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:47,730 That kind of bummed me out. 130 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,932 Well, it is possible that longing for something 131 00:05:49,966 --> 00:05:51,651 is better than actually having it. 132 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,319 I've heard it said that satisfaction 133 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,271 is the death of desire. 134 00:05:55,305 --> 00:05:57,190 Interesting. Do you need a tampon? 135 00:05:57,241 --> 00:05:59,242 I think I have an extra in my purse. 136 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:01,477 Ow. Whoa. Look at the time already. 137 00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:02,645 Wow. 138 00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:04,113 Actually, there's 15 minutes left. 139 00:06:04,147 --> 00:06:07,500 Which is why I will leave you with this. 140 00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,318 I can't teach you how to write, 141 00:06:09,336 --> 00:06:11,871 and anybody who says they can is full of shit. 142 00:06:11,922 --> 00:06:13,840 The only thing I can do 143 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,374 is write about the shit that excites me, 144 00:06:15,425 --> 00:06:16,542 the shit that gets me hard. 145 00:06:16,593 --> 00:06:19,212 So, Balt, if you want to write about vampires 146 00:06:19,263 --> 00:06:21,214 drinking each other's blood and cum and whatnot, 147 00:06:21,265 --> 00:06:22,632 by all means, go for it. 148 00:06:22,666 --> 00:06:23,799 Write the shit out of it. 149 00:06:23,833 --> 00:06:25,601 Don't be niggardly with your emotions. 150 00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:28,771 Just run it up the flagpole and see who salutes, okay? 151 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:30,857 Now get the fuck out of here. 152 00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:31,941 Go read a book or something. 153 00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:33,676 Preferably one of mine. 154 00:06:38,282 --> 00:06:39,899 You know, I try not to think about it too much, 155 00:06:39,950 --> 00:06:42,702 but I could have been T.A.-ing for Richard Bates right now, 156 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,987 and that would have been a real education for me. 157 00:06:45,021 --> 00:06:47,707 I was doing my thesis on him. 158 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,576 Yeah, and then you had to go and knock him off the wagon. 159 00:06:50,627 --> 00:06:51,994 But look how it worked out for you. 160 00:06:52,028 --> 00:06:55,197 You get to learn at the feet of a master... bator. 161 00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:57,216 Oh, ho. Clearly. 162 00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:59,201 Oh, hi, Felicia. 163 00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:00,887 Hi. 164 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,004 How's it going, professor? 165 00:07:02,038 --> 00:07:05,591 In a word? Awesome. 166 00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:07,042 Oh. 167 00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,678 Interesting curriculum. 168 00:07:08,712 --> 00:07:11,230 Ah, look at that. I sound like a fuckin' retard. 169 00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:13,215 No. Don't be so hard on yourself. 170 00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:14,684 But you might want to erase it 171 00:07:14,718 --> 00:07:16,719 before word spreads through these hallowed halls. 172 00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:18,571 Academics can be vicious. 173 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,773 At least I'm not tucking my dong in class. 174 00:07:20,824 --> 00:07:22,742 Not with my pants off, anyway. 175 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:25,278 Have you taken the sexual harassment seminar, yet? 176 00:07:25,329 --> 00:07:28,948 Yeah, I had Jill take it for me online. 177 00:07:28,999 --> 00:07:32,752 What? What? 178 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:36,255 It's like traffic school. 179 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,210 Uh, David Curran wants to know 180 00:07:41,244 --> 00:07:42,795 why you gave him a "C". 181 00:07:42,846 --> 00:07:44,213 Okay, I'll bite. 182 00:07:44,247 --> 00:07:45,932 Why'd I give him a "C"? 183 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,767 You know, as your T.A., 184 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,719 I'm happy to read the students' material 185 00:07:49,753 --> 00:07:51,137 and suggest a grade, 186 00:07:51,188 --> 00:07:54,273 but, you know, you're supposed to read it also. 187 00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:57,092 What do you think of Jackie? 188 00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:58,527 You think she's hot, don't you? 189 00:07:58,562 --> 00:08:00,062 I haven't thought about it. 190 00:08:00,096 --> 00:08:01,764 But now that I have, yeah, she's smoking. 191 00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:03,616 You're old enough to be her father. 192 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:06,202 Well, sure, I could be, but I'm not. 193 00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:08,270 And I have no interest in making sweet love to her 194 00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:10,456 aside from the general interest that all men have 195 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:11,940 in making sweet love to all women. 196 00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:14,126 You know, I don't think you can be your T.A. anymore. 197 00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,544 - I understand. - You do? 198 00:08:15,579 --> 00:08:17,630 You find me irresistible. 199 00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,966 That's close. 200 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,450 I find you irritating. 201 00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:22,885 Careful. That's how it starts. 202 00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:24,220 The mother of my problem child 203 00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:25,588 would say the exact same thing. 204 00:08:25,622 --> 00:08:27,122 Seriously. Watch it. 205 00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:28,891 Has a woman ever punched you in the face? 206 00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:31,143 You know what? You should use me. 207 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,144 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 208 00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:33,346 Mm-hmm. I should use you. 209 00:08:33,397 --> 00:08:35,130 I'm... I'm frightened. 210 00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:37,683 As consultant in your search for worthy companionship. 211 00:08:37,734 --> 00:08:40,135 I, Hank Moody, and a prime example 212 00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:41,821 of how the male noggin works. 213 00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:43,972 You know, say you're out on a date with some dick, 214 00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:45,691 he does something you can't quite decipher, 215 00:08:45,742 --> 00:08:46,942 you call me up, 216 00:08:46,976 --> 00:08:49,578 I'll tell you what it meant. 217 00:08:49,613 --> 00:08:52,415 Thanks, dick. That's a great idea. 218 00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,083 I'm gonna think about it while I'm peeing. 219 00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:55,868 Tinkle, tinkle. 220 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,621 Professor Moody, 221 00:08:58,655 --> 00:08:59,955 uh, can I have a word? 222 00:08:59,989 --> 00:09:01,507 I suppose so, but I was thinking 223 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,992 of ducking out and catching a movie. 224 00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:05,428 But I guess not. 225 00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,013 Office hours and whatnot. 226 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,597 Come in. Have a seat. 227 00:09:08,632 --> 00:09:11,333 Call me Hank. 228 00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:12,334 Thank you, Hank. 229 00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:13,469 I changed my mind. 230 00:09:13,503 --> 00:09:15,771 Call me Professor Moody. 231 00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:17,223 I'm just fucking with you. 232 00:09:17,274 --> 00:09:20,693 Not really. 233 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,228 What do you want? 234 00:09:22,279 --> 00:09:24,030 Look, I need to know... 235 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,064 if I'm a writer. 236 00:09:25,115 --> 00:09:26,065 Mmm. 237 00:09:26,116 --> 00:09:27,650 Jesus christ, kid. 238 00:09:27,684 --> 00:09:28,684 Who am I to tell you that? 239 00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:30,069 Well, you're my teacher. 240 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:32,154 I respect you, and I think you're an awesome writer. 241 00:09:32,188 --> 00:09:33,706 - Thank you. - I've read all your books. 242 00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,157 Cover to cover. 243 00:09:35,191 --> 00:09:36,909 I love your picture on the back, by the way. 244 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:38,044 It's very handsome. 245 00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,745 Thank... you. 246 00:09:39,796 --> 00:09:43,549 You're the mentor, you know? In my story? 247 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:48,537 The young vampire has a crush on the old one. 248 00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:50,756 It's you. It's a metaphor. 249 00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:53,392 I'm the old vampire. Fantastic. 250 00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:56,979 Come on, Hank... Professor Moody. 251 00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:59,214 Brutal truth. 252 00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:01,434 I can take it. 253 00:10:01,485 --> 00:10:03,102 Brutal truth, huh? 254 00:10:03,153 --> 00:10:05,604 Mm-hmm. Absolutely. 255 00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:10,526 Your story was bad. 256 00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:11,994 It was terrible, in fact. 257 00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:14,997 It was like that lame twilight bullshit. 258 00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:16,582 I have no patience for that crap. 259 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,501 It's not writing. it's like bound toilet paper. 260 00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:20,252 Now I'm not saying you won't get better 261 00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:21,754 if you keep writing, because you will. 262 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,089 No question. 263 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,240 But I am saying that if you can do anything else 264 00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:26,258 with your life right now, 265 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,043 anything at all, 266 00:10:28,077 --> 00:10:29,962 I think maybe you should do that. 267 00:10:30,013 --> 00:10:32,715 'Cause the world doesn't need anymore lame vampire fiction. 268 00:10:32,749 --> 00:10:35,751 You know what I'm saying? 269 00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:38,053 You with me, amigo? 270 00:10:38,087 --> 00:10:39,939 I think so. 271 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,108 Brutal truth, right? 272 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,977 Uh, right. 273 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,601 Teaching's not so hard. 274 00:10:52,619 --> 00:10:56,906 I feel bad. He was clearly crushing on me. 275 00:10:56,940 --> 00:10:58,440 Maybe I led him on. 276 00:10:58,458 --> 00:11:00,075 Hmm? How so? 277 00:11:00,109 --> 00:11:02,411 I don't know. Maybe I was sending out signals. 278 00:11:02,445 --> 00:11:03,746 Fuck. Maybe I'm gay. 279 00:11:03,780 --> 00:11:05,214 Hank, please. 280 00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:06,465 We're all gay. 281 00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:07,616 What the? What the? 282 00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:08,918 I'm serious. 283 00:11:08,952 --> 00:11:10,136 Yeah, I know, and it scares me. 284 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,670 All right, let me put it this way. 285 00:11:11,721 --> 00:11:13,923 If you and I were trapped together on a desert island... 286 00:11:13,957 --> 00:11:15,841 I don't like where this is going already. 287 00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:17,143 It would only be a matter of time 288 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:18,727 before I was putting it in your pooper. 289 00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:19,929 Hey, I may be easy, 290 00:11:19,963 --> 00:11:21,129 but I am not sleazy. 291 00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:23,065 Besides, I don't really see myself as a bottom. 292 00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:24,633 Fine. You put it in my pooper. 293 00:11:24,651 --> 00:11:26,819 My fist, maybe. 294 00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:28,571 Whatever floats your boat. 295 00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:31,407 My point being, we're just animals. 296 00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:32,408 Perhaps, but this animal 297 00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:33,859 prefers the warm, cozy confines 298 00:11:33,910 --> 00:11:35,077 of the female vagina. 299 00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:37,145 But faced with a severe vaginal drought, 300 00:11:37,164 --> 00:11:38,364 men will be men. 301 00:11:38,415 --> 00:11:39,865 Boys will do boys. 302 00:11:39,916 --> 00:11:42,668 You've given this a fair amount of thought, haven't you? 303 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,954 It's like when you were a kid, okay? 304 00:11:44,988 --> 00:11:46,005 You know what I'm saying? 305 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,706 No, I do not. 306 00:11:47,757 --> 00:11:50,876 We've all got a gay experience or two in our back pockets. 307 00:11:50,927 --> 00:11:52,044 Oh, okay. All right. 308 00:11:52,095 --> 00:11:53,462 Now... now I see where you're going. 309 00:11:53,496 --> 00:11:55,431 Okay. What's yours? 310 00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:57,383 Oh, oh, no, no, no. You first. 311 00:11:57,434 --> 00:11:59,635 No way. Bald before beauty. 312 00:11:59,669 --> 00:12:01,437 All right. You know? Fine. Okay. 313 00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,055 So when I was growing up, 314 00:12:03,106 --> 00:12:04,557 My best friend was Mike Metz. 315 00:12:04,608 --> 00:12:05,641 Uh-huh. Mike Metz. 316 00:12:05,675 --> 00:12:08,677 Okay, sometimes we would undress, 317 00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:10,345 we'd lay down on the bed, 318 00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:13,515 and just, you know, touch each other's bodies. 319 00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:15,034 - It wasn't gay. - Sure. 320 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,368 - It wasn't even sexual. - Mm-hmm. 321 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,370 It was, you know, very loving, act... 322 00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:20,072 It was just an expression of our friendship. 323 00:12:20,123 --> 00:12:21,657 - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. - That's all. 324 00:12:21,691 --> 00:12:23,242 Well, that's interesting, because you and I are friends, 325 00:12:23,293 --> 00:12:24,460 and yet you've never asked me 326 00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:25,744 to get undressed and touch your body. 327 00:12:25,795 --> 00:12:29,915 So what's yours, big boy? 328 00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:32,167 You tricked me, didn't you? 329 00:12:32,201 --> 00:12:33,702 You miserable fucking bastard. 330 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,370 You keep that one close to your vest, okay? 331 00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,673 Of course. Of course. 332 00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:51,887 Oh, Jesus. 333 00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:53,689 You're gonna rape me, aren't you? 334 00:12:53,723 --> 00:12:55,441 Oh, you bet your sweet ass, rich white lady. 335 00:12:55,492 --> 00:12:56,442 I'm not rich! 336 00:12:56,493 --> 00:12:57,993 Bullshit! You own Salon. 337 00:12:58,028 --> 00:12:58,994 Don't lie to me. 338 00:12:59,029 --> 00:12:59,995 Oh, my God. 339 00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:01,447 Put that thing away. 340 00:13:01,498 --> 00:13:04,533 That big, thick, purple thing! 341 00:13:04,567 --> 00:13:06,068 That's right. You better recognize. 342 00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:07,453 This here's a one-eyed, one-horned, 343 00:13:07,504 --> 00:13:08,871 flying, purple, white-woman eater. 344 00:13:08,905 --> 00:13:10,072 Oh! 345 00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:11,540 And I'm gonna split you like wet pine. 346 00:13:11,574 --> 00:13:12,574 Oh, yeah. 347 00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:16,545 Oh, yeah. 348 00:13:16,579 --> 00:13:18,430 - No means no, you know? - Charlie! 349 00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,716 This the surprise you were talking about? 350 00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:21,800 What the fuck are you doing? 351 00:13:21,851 --> 00:13:23,269 What does it look like I'm doing? 352 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,271 - I'm saving you. - Saving me? I'm fine! 353 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:26,605 No, you're not fine. 354 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,774 You're being raped. 355 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,644 I am not! 356 00:13:31,695 --> 00:13:35,597 You were too. 357 00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,099 We're playing a game. 358 00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:38,567 A game? 359 00:13:38,601 --> 00:13:40,286 What kind of game? 360 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,821 Some kind of sick, twisted, plantation-days kind of thing? 361 00:13:42,872 --> 00:13:43,822 Hey. 362 00:13:43,873 --> 00:13:45,107 Watch it, motherfucker. 363 00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:47,326 It was a fantasy, Charlie. 364 00:13:47,377 --> 00:13:49,211 A fantasy? 365 00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:50,913 A rape fantasy. 366 00:13:50,947 --> 00:13:52,798 A rape fanta... ? 367 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:53,916 That is just sick, Marcy. 368 00:13:53,950 --> 00:13:55,334 Sick? 369 00:13:55,385 --> 00:13:57,119 I'm sick? 370 00:13:57,137 --> 00:14:00,122 After all the twisted, depraved shit 371 00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:02,591 I've seen you do? 372 00:14:02,625 --> 00:14:05,811 Don't you dare judge me, motherfucker. 373 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,513 Oh, God. 374 00:14:07,564 --> 00:14:08,797 I think I'm gonna puke. 375 00:14:08,815 --> 00:14:12,151 Good! 376 00:14:19,409 --> 00:14:21,026 Dean Koons wants to see you. 377 00:14:21,077 --> 00:14:23,862 Hit? 378 00:14:23,913 --> 00:14:25,647 I'm good. 379 00:14:29,085 --> 00:14:30,786 Hey, guys. 380 00:14:30,820 --> 00:14:32,004 Thank you. 381 00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:33,822 Thank you. 382 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:35,708 For what? 383 00:14:35,759 --> 00:14:37,042 I heard you wanted to see me, 384 00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:39,094 which could only mean you wanted to congratulate me 385 00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:40,512 for the kickass job I've been doing, 386 00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:43,665 so I just wanted to say you're welcome. 387 00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:45,718 It's been my pleasure. 388 00:14:45,769 --> 00:14:47,335 This is no time to be glib, Hank. 389 00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:49,355 How can you be sure? 390 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,106 I'll handle this, Stacy. 391 00:14:51,141 --> 00:14:53,341 There's been an incident. 392 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:54,526 Okay, well, look. 393 00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:57,179 "Niggardly" is not a racial slur. 394 00:14:57,197 --> 00:15:00,532 And in fact, one might say that y'all have been niggardly 395 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:03,452 when it comes to financial compensation pour moi. 396 00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:05,070 I'm just saying. 397 00:15:05,121 --> 00:15:06,188 Are you done handling this? 398 00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:07,189 Because we are dealing 399 00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:08,356 with an idiot man-child here. 400 00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:11,627 "Oh, me love her too much. 401 00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:13,078 Me pet her too hard. 402 00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:16,081 She no wake up." 403 00:15:20,470 --> 00:15:23,756 A student of yours tried to commit suicide last night. 404 00:15:26,375 --> 00:15:29,762 Shitness. Wow. Who? 405 00:15:29,813 --> 00:15:30,896 Chris Smith. 406 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,598 Chris Smith? 407 00:15:32,649 --> 00:15:34,183 Chris Smith. 408 00:15:34,217 --> 00:15:36,568 Ah, he's not one of mine. Thank God. 409 00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,153 No, his friends call him Balt. 410 00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:41,440 Balt? Fuck, I know that dude. 411 00:15:41,491 --> 00:15:43,609 Did he seem despondent at all? 412 00:15:43,660 --> 00:15:45,160 More importantly, his roommate said 413 00:15:45,195 --> 00:15:46,912 he had just returned from a meeting with you. 414 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,998 He did stop by... my office-es. 415 00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:52,618 Well, what was discussed? 416 00:15:52,669 --> 00:15:56,839 Life... love... vampires and shit. 417 00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:58,240 We're not attacking you, Hank. 418 00:15:58,258 --> 00:15:59,591 We're just trying to work out what happened. 419 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,959 Feels like you're attacking. 420 00:16:01,010 --> 00:16:02,261 It's pretty clear what happened. 421 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,745 Stop being so condescending, Stacy. 422 00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:04,746 Look, why don't you just 423 00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:06,298 tender your resignation right now. 424 00:16:06,349 --> 00:16:08,767 Spare us the trouble of an investigation. 425 00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:10,185 You want to handle this, Stacy? 426 00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:11,687 Fine. Go right ahead. 427 00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:14,422 Just leave me out of it. 428 00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:20,028 Someone's sleeping on the couch tonight. 429 00:16:20,063 --> 00:16:21,530 Good jelly beans. 430 00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:23,782 Look, Hank, 431 00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:25,951 I know you're not exactly 432 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:29,154 what anyone would call an education professional. 433 00:16:29,205 --> 00:16:31,707 Or a professional of any kind, for that matter. 434 00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:35,127 But my wife went out on a limb for you. 435 00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:36,295 She loves Becca. 436 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,046 She thought it would be nice if her father 437 00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:39,298 was gainfully employed. 438 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,500 Ah gah gah gah gah gah! 439 00:16:41,551 --> 00:16:43,836 - That being said... - Gah gah gah! 440 00:16:43,887 --> 00:16:46,621 That's an antique. 441 00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:49,424 If I find out that you said or did anything 442 00:16:49,458 --> 00:16:50,926 to push that poor kid over the edge, 443 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:52,227 I'm gonna make it my life's work 444 00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:53,461 to make sure you never step foot 445 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:54,462 on this campus again. 446 00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:56,732 Do you understand me? 447 00:16:56,766 --> 00:16:59,351 Do I have your ear, Hank? 448 00:16:59,402 --> 00:17:01,636 You have beautiful, blue eyes. 449 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:07,860 Are you high? 450 00:17:07,911 --> 00:17:12,147 I gotta run. Talk to you later. 451 00:17:14,334 --> 00:17:18,253 All work and no ass-play makes chuck a dull boy. 452 00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:20,655 Just trying to earn my keep, Sue. 453 00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:23,825 What do you say the two of us knock off early, huh? 454 00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:25,511 Slip out of this business casual, 455 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:26,962 nude-up in my "jacooze", 456 00:17:26,996 --> 00:17:29,214 see what kind of sodomy laws we can break? 457 00:17:29,265 --> 00:17:32,518 Sounds like the height of decadence, Sue. 458 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,836 But I should probably get through this slush pile. 459 00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:36,889 Who knows? I might even find something good. 460 00:17:36,940 --> 00:17:38,340 Who knows? 461 00:17:38,358 --> 00:17:39,691 You might find something better 462 00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,059 in my punani. 463 00:17:41,110 --> 00:17:42,611 Yeah. 464 00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:45,180 Warren beatty's lost Rolex, maybe. 465 00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:50,352 Oh, you are a dirty dog. 466 00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:51,870 I like your style, Runkle. 467 00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:56,691 Hey, can I ask you a question, Sue? 468 00:17:56,709 --> 00:17:58,193 The answer's yes. 469 00:17:58,211 --> 00:17:59,878 I would love a face-ride. 470 00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:02,364 Seriously, 471 00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:06,301 do women ever fantasize 472 00:18:06,336 --> 00:18:09,254 about... being raped? 473 00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:12,207 Are you trying to get me wet? 474 00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:15,143 - I don't think so. - Yes, Charlie. 475 00:18:15,178 --> 00:18:18,063 Women fantasize about rape. 476 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,398 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 477 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:25,220 And my own features a handsome stranger. 478 00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:30,659 Think Jack, circa the postman always rings twice, 479 00:18:30,693 --> 00:18:34,396 sneaking into my bedroom and taking me in my sleep. 480 00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:36,531 He pulls down my panties. 481 00:18:36,565 --> 00:18:38,784 He enters slowly. 482 00:18:38,835 --> 00:18:40,902 Slips right in. 483 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,622 Oh, jack. the pussy never lies. 484 00:18:43,673 --> 00:18:44,790 Remember that, Runkle. 485 00:18:44,841 --> 00:18:47,075 I kick, I scream, but it's too late. 486 00:18:47,093 --> 00:18:49,011 I mean, the juices are flowing. 487 00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:50,596 The train has left the station. 488 00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:54,633 We are headed for a big, fat, rocky orgasm. 489 00:18:54,684 --> 00:18:57,752 Oh, sweet Jesus, guide me. 490 00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:05,978 Are you trying to tell me something, Runkle? 491 00:19:06,029 --> 00:19:09,597 Are you thinking about some role playing? 492 00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:11,533 Because you name the game, 493 00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:12,767 I'll play the part. 494 00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:14,486 And I'm good at it. 495 00:19:14,537 --> 00:19:17,239 I used to run lines with margot kidder. 496 00:19:17,273 --> 00:19:19,658 Before she went apeshit. 497 00:19:19,709 --> 00:19:21,326 Try me sometime. 498 00:19:31,220 --> 00:19:32,838 Wow. Look who's here. 499 00:19:32,889 --> 00:19:34,289 What's up, asshole? 500 00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:36,308 That's no way to address your teacher, young lady. 501 00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:38,477 Is that what you are? Aa teacher? 502 00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:41,346 I was thinking more like a destroyer of hopes and dreams. 503 00:19:41,397 --> 00:19:42,514 Is he gonna be okay? 504 00:19:42,565 --> 00:19:43,649 Maybe if you put 505 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,767 your fuckin' cigarette out. 506 00:19:45,801 --> 00:19:47,019 He's fine. 507 00:19:47,070 --> 00:19:48,270 He got depressed 508 00:19:48,304 --> 00:19:50,138 and he drank all the cold medicine he could find. 509 00:19:50,156 --> 00:19:52,524 He's such a fuckin' queen. 510 00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,030 You came. 511 00:19:58,081 --> 00:19:59,831 'Course I did, buddy. 512 00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,583 How you doing? 513 00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:03,418 I hate myself, and I want to fucking die. 514 00:20:03,453 --> 00:20:05,537 Oh, been there. 515 00:20:05,588 --> 00:20:06,538 I doubt it. 516 00:20:06,589 --> 00:20:07,655 What could you possibly know 517 00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:08,990 about being a fucked-up gay kid? 518 00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:11,710 We're all... gay. 519 00:20:11,761 --> 00:20:14,829 In... in some form or another. 520 00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:19,685 We've all had a gay experience in our past or two. 521 00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:20,852 You too? 522 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:21,887 Oh, hells yeah. 523 00:20:21,938 --> 00:20:24,056 Tell me about it. 524 00:20:27,610 --> 00:20:31,113 Well, when I was a... when I was a kid, 525 00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:34,349 barely a teenager, 526 00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:37,119 my best friend and I, Mike Metz, 527 00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:41,540 yeah, we would, uh, we'd get undressed.... 528 00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:45,494 D... don't stop. 529 00:20:45,528 --> 00:20:49,498 Right. And, um, you know, 530 00:20:49,532 --> 00:20:52,584 we would... we would lay in bed together... 531 00:20:52,635 --> 00:20:54,503 naked, um, 532 00:20:54,537 --> 00:20:57,889 touching each other's... 533 00:20:57,924 --> 00:20:59,758 naked bodies. 534 00:20:59,809 --> 00:21:01,977 You know, just... and... and it wasn't, like, 535 00:21:02,011 --> 00:21:04,546 uh, sexual or gay, 536 00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:06,732 but just more of a... 537 00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:11,686 more of an expression of our profound friendship. 538 00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:14,072 See, I don't know. 539 00:21:14,107 --> 00:21:16,908 It sounds pretty fucking gay to me. 540 00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:20,779 It does sound gay. 541 00:21:20,830 --> 00:21:22,397 You know what? 542 00:21:22,415 --> 00:21:24,232 I'm sorry if I bummed you out. 543 00:21:24,250 --> 00:21:26,868 But you got to cut me some slack here. 544 00:21:26,902 --> 00:21:28,420 I'm pretty new to this teaching thing. 545 00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:31,072 I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. 546 00:21:31,090 --> 00:21:33,741 You know what I dug about your story? 547 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,127 There was one line I loved. 548 00:21:35,178 --> 00:21:37,796 Um, "the twilight of his eternal youth." 549 00:21:37,847 --> 00:21:40,582 Really dug that. Stuck in my head. 550 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:42,968 I polished that one for a while, actually. 551 00:21:43,019 --> 00:21:45,470 Mm. Polish it. 552 00:21:45,521 --> 00:21:48,140 Well, shit. I gotta get to work. 553 00:21:48,191 --> 00:21:50,091 You think you could stay with him for a little bit? 554 00:21:50,109 --> 00:21:53,061 Oh, no, I have, uh... 555 00:21:53,095 --> 00:21:55,763 I got to... I got to run too, so... 556 00:21:58,201 --> 00:22:00,268 Yeah, I can. 557 00:22:00,286 --> 00:22:02,204 No. You know what you can do for me? 558 00:22:02,238 --> 00:22:03,622 What? 559 00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:05,791 Give her a ride. 560 00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:07,542 She took the bus all the way here. 561 00:22:07,577 --> 00:22:09,377 God knows she's too hot for that. 562 00:22:09,412 --> 00:22:11,663 I wouldn't want her getting raped on my account. 563 00:22:11,714 --> 00:22:13,948 That would be most unfortunate. 564 00:22:13,966 --> 00:22:16,918 Come with me. My rape-proof chariot awaits. 565 00:22:16,952 --> 00:22:17,919 Later, pale skin. 566 00:22:17,953 --> 00:22:18,920 I hope you feel better. 567 00:22:18,954 --> 00:22:20,955 Keep scribbling. 568 00:22:20,973 --> 00:22:23,558 - No kiss goodnight? - Oh. 569 00:22:26,395 --> 00:22:29,014 Bye, honey. 570 00:23:38,501 --> 00:23:41,086 Huh?! Charlie! 571 00:23:41,137 --> 00:23:42,870 What the fuck are you doing? 572 00:23:42,889 --> 00:23:44,205 What does it look like I'm doing? 573 00:23:44,223 --> 00:23:45,223 I'm raping you. 574 00:23:45,258 --> 00:23:47,592 Get off me, you fucking asshole! 575 00:23:47,643 --> 00:23:48,593 Do you love it? 576 00:23:48,644 --> 00:23:50,729 No! Stop it now! 577 00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:51,730 Because I love it. 578 00:23:51,764 --> 00:23:53,598 This is so not consensual. 579 00:23:53,649 --> 00:23:56,935 Oh! Ow! Ow. 580 00:23:56,986 --> 00:23:59,271 Ow. Ow. 581 00:23:59,322 --> 00:24:02,056 Ow. 582 00:24:02,074 --> 00:24:04,109 Fuck. 583 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,060 What are you thinking? 584 00:24:06,078 --> 00:24:08,580 Guess I thought it was something you might enjoy. 585 00:24:08,614 --> 00:24:10,615 You know, and maybe in the middle you'd be like, 586 00:24:10,666 --> 00:24:12,751 "God, I really do love this schmuck." 587 00:24:12,785 --> 00:24:15,003 You thought that in the middle of raping me 588 00:24:15,037 --> 00:24:16,738 I'd realize how much I love you?! 589 00:24:16,756 --> 00:24:18,840 Something like that. 590 00:24:18,874 --> 00:24:22,844 Yeah. but it sounded a lot better the way I said it. 591 00:24:22,878 --> 00:24:24,879 And, just to be fair, you know, 592 00:24:24,913 --> 00:24:26,598 it was a rape fantasy. 593 00:24:26,632 --> 00:24:28,300 For you, maybe. 594 00:24:28,351 --> 00:24:30,352 Okay. 595 00:24:30,386 --> 00:24:33,388 Well, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. 596 00:24:33,422 --> 00:24:34,389 My bad. 597 00:24:38,527 --> 00:24:41,947 Sorry. These are yours. 598 00:24:55,077 --> 00:24:56,277 This is where you work? 599 00:24:56,295 --> 00:24:57,379 Yup. 600 00:24:57,413 --> 00:24:59,080 But you just work the front desk 601 00:24:59,114 --> 00:25:01,132 or you're the cashier or something like that, right? 602 00:25:01,167 --> 00:25:03,117 Something like that. 603 00:25:03,135 --> 00:25:04,469 Interesting. 604 00:25:04,503 --> 00:25:06,120 You want to come inside? 605 00:25:06,138 --> 00:25:07,455 Maybe wet your whistle? 606 00:25:07,473 --> 00:25:09,841 Would that involve seeing you naked? 607 00:25:09,892 --> 00:25:10,842 Oh, most definitely. 608 00:25:10,893 --> 00:25:12,844 Then, no offense, but I think not. 609 00:25:12,895 --> 00:25:14,679 In the interest of student-teacher relations. 610 00:25:14,730 --> 00:25:17,277 Wow. Look at you with the moral rectitude. 611 00:25:17,311 --> 00:25:18,278 I'm impressed. 612 00:25:18,312 --> 00:25:19,862 I know. Me too. 613 00:25:19,897 --> 00:25:20,947 THanks for the ride, prof. 614 00:25:20,981 --> 00:25:21,948 Any time. 615 00:25:21,982 --> 00:25:23,566 Well, you know, not... not any time. 616 00:25:23,617 --> 00:25:25,702 I don't think this is the best habit to get into. 617 00:25:25,736 --> 00:25:26,852 You were right, you know? 618 00:25:26,870 --> 00:25:28,538 He's a shitty writer. 619 00:25:28,572 --> 00:25:30,356 Someone had to tell him. 620 00:25:30,374 --> 00:25:32,125 You know, parents tell their kids 621 00:25:32,159 --> 00:25:34,294 they can be anything they want when they grow up. 622 00:25:34,328 --> 00:25:35,295 But it's not true. 623 00:25:35,329 --> 00:25:36,746 Not for everyone. 624 00:25:36,797 --> 00:25:38,498 Sometimes that can fuck you up 625 00:25:38,532 --> 00:25:39,882 a lot more than someone telling you 626 00:25:39,917 --> 00:25:42,302 you can't do a goddamn thing. 627 00:25:42,336 --> 00:25:46,038 Besides, you can't really teach writing, can you? 628 00:25:46,056 --> 00:25:47,707 You're a smart kid. You know that? 629 00:25:47,725 --> 00:25:49,976 Damn straight. 630 00:25:50,010 --> 00:25:52,895 All right, I got to go shake my money-makers. 631 00:25:52,930 --> 00:25:54,547 - Okay. - Have a good night. 632 00:25:54,565 --> 00:25:56,099 You have a good night too. 633 00:25:56,150 --> 00:25:59,552 I hope you get, uh, lots of singles... I guess. 634 00:25:59,570 --> 00:26:02,155 - Or fives, or... - All right. 635 00:26:02,189 --> 00:26:03,156 - Benjamins? I don't know. 636 00:26:03,190 --> 00:26:04,774 - Bye. - Bye. 637 00:26:14,752 --> 00:26:16,252 Hey, where are you going, short stuff? 638 00:26:16,286 --> 00:26:18,838 - Out. - Out, you say? 639 00:26:18,872 --> 00:26:19,839 Out where? 640 00:26:19,873 --> 00:26:20,840 Just out. 641 00:26:20,874 --> 00:26:22,125 Just out? 642 00:26:22,176 --> 00:26:23,576 I'm not familiar with that area. 643 00:26:23,594 --> 00:26:25,578 The promenade. I'm meeting Chelsea. 644 00:26:25,596 --> 00:26:28,931 Oh, not so fast. How you gonna get there? 645 00:26:28,966 --> 00:26:31,851 I don't know. I'll walk or take the bus. 646 00:26:31,885 --> 00:26:32,918 Did you even think to ask? 647 00:26:32,936 --> 00:26:35,054 I didn't think you'd care. 648 00:26:35,088 --> 00:26:37,357 Well, sorry, honey. Looks like I do. 649 00:26:37,391 --> 00:26:38,358 Okay, good to know. 650 00:26:38,392 --> 00:26:40,443 - So can I go? - No. 651 00:26:40,477 --> 00:26:42,094 Why don't you stay in with me tonight? 652 00:26:42,112 --> 00:26:44,147 You know, we'll... we'll watch a movie. 653 00:26:44,198 --> 00:26:45,531 Pop some corn. 654 00:26:45,566 --> 00:26:47,099 The promenade will always be there. 655 00:26:47,117 --> 00:26:48,568 Unfortunately. 656 00:26:48,602 --> 00:26:49,952 Yeah, sounds like a good time, 657 00:26:49,987 --> 00:26:51,654 but I think I'd rather go out. 658 00:26:51,705 --> 00:26:53,790 Well, I... I think I'd rather have you stay home. 659 00:26:53,824 --> 00:26:54,907 How 'bout that? 660 00:26:54,941 --> 00:26:57,660 Got it. Loud and clear. So can I go? 661 00:26:57,711 --> 00:27:00,380 - Asked and answered, Becca. - Why? 662 00:27:00,414 --> 00:27:03,249 - Because I said so. - Because you said so? 663 00:27:03,283 --> 00:27:06,452 - Because I said so. - Jesus. 664 00:27:06,470 --> 00:27:08,921 - Who are you texting? - Chelsea. 665 00:27:08,955 --> 00:27:10,757 To tell her you're being a total dick right now. 666 00:27:10,791 --> 00:27:12,341 What is going on with you? 667 00:27:12,393 --> 00:27:14,761 When did you become such a little snot? 668 00:27:14,795 --> 00:27:16,095 That is not funny, Becca. 669 00:27:16,129 --> 00:27:18,898 It's funny to me. 670 00:27:24,638 --> 00:27:26,355 I fucking hate you! 671 00:27:26,407 --> 00:27:28,024 Yeah, and I fuckin' hate you too, 672 00:27:28,075 --> 00:27:30,976 you little shit. 673 00:27:33,580 --> 00:27:36,662 Sync by honeybunny - corrected by chamallow35 www.addic7ed.com