1
00:00:01,587 --> 00:00:03,255
I am right in the middle of a nasty divorce.

2
00:00:03,289 --> 00:00:05,757
Oh, you can play hard to
get all you like, Runkle.

3
00:00:05,791 --> 00:00:08,960
But Sue Collini always gets the weenie.

4
00:00:08,978 --> 00:00:10,128
How's it going, Professor?

5
00:00:10,146 --> 00:00:11,730
In a word? Awesome.

6
00:00:11,764 --> 00:00:13,982
Look, Hank, I know you're not exactly

7
00:00:14,016 --> 00:00:17,102
what anyone would call
an education professional.

8
00:00:17,136 --> 00:00:18,970
But my wife went out on a limb for you.

9
00:00:20,990 --> 00:00:22,140
What do you think of Jackie?

10
00:00:22,241 --> 00:00:23,808
You're old enough to be her father.

11
00:00:23,826 --> 00:00:25,327
You find me irresistible?

12
00:00:25,361 --> 00:00:27,612
Has a woman ever punched
you in the face?

13
00:00:27,646 --> 00:00:28,697
You know what? You should use me.

14
00:00:28,748 --> 00:00:30,615
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

15
00:00:30,649 --> 00:00:32,501
- This is where you work?
- You wanna come inside?

16
00:00:32,535 --> 00:00:33,702
Would that involve seeing you naked?

17
00:00:33,753 --> 00:00:36,171
- Oh, most definitely.
- I think not.

18
00:00:36,205 --> 00:00:37,923
In the interest of student-teacher relations.

19
00:00:37,957 --> 00:00:40,625
We're being all normal
and responsible, and...

20
00:00:40,659 --> 00:00:41,793
what if in the process,

21
00:00:41,827 --> 00:00:43,094
we just kind of get over each other?

22
00:00:43,129 --> 00:00:47,465
What if you tell me about our daughter?

23
00:00:47,499 --> 00:00:49,551
- Who are you texting?
- Chelsea.

24
00:00:49,602 --> 00:00:52,387
Tell her you're being
a total dick right now.

25
00:00:54,774 --> 00:00:56,507
I fucking hate you!

26
00:00:56,526 --> 00:00:59,561
And I fucking hate you too, you little shit!

27
00:01:29,392 --> 00:01:31,643
No, no, no, no. You don't have to do that.

28
00:01:31,677 --> 00:01:34,679
Not on my account.

29
00:01:34,713 --> 00:01:36,848
Oh, well you see that is a prime example

30
00:01:36,882 --> 00:01:38,900
of what's wrong with the
younger generation today.

31
00:01:38,935 --> 00:01:40,936
You leave nothing to the imagination.

32
00:01:40,987 --> 00:01:43,104
So you've got yourself some boobs.

33
00:01:45,658 --> 00:01:48,109
Some nice, big, round boobs.

34
00:01:49,695 --> 00:01:51,580
Everybody's got 'em.

35
00:01:51,614 --> 00:01:53,615
You know, nothing to get excited about.

36
00:01:56,402 --> 00:01:58,169
You know, just...

37
00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:11,749
Hank?

38
00:02:11,767 --> 00:02:13,635
Hank.

39
00:02:13,853 --> 00:02:16,271
Hank.

40
00:02:16,305 --> 00:02:19,024
- Hank Moody.
- Yes, Fraulein.

41
00:02:19,058 --> 00:02:21,192
Do you have anything you'd care to add?

42
00:02:21,227 --> 00:02:22,611
On the subject of?

43
00:02:22,645 --> 00:02:25,196
On the subject of the subject
we were just discussing.

44
00:02:25,231 --> 00:02:27,432
Oh, that subject.

45
00:02:27,617 --> 00:02:30,935
Um, let me think.

46
00:02:30,953 --> 00:02:32,203
Not a thing. Nope.

47
00:02:32,238 --> 00:02:33,989
Wait, no, there is something I would like to say.

48
00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:35,790
Excellent. We're all ears.

49
00:02:35,825 --> 00:02:37,158
Do you think the ladies have gone too far

50
00:02:37,209 --> 00:02:38,994
with the sex-positive feminism?

51
00:02:39,045 --> 00:02:40,778
I mean, I know they all say they're down

52
00:02:40,796 --> 00:02:44,332
with the pornography and
the shaved pudenda and whatnot,

53
00:02:44,383 --> 00:02:46,885
but do we really think that
this is the path to liberation?

54
00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:49,054
Ezra Pound. What do you think?

55
00:02:49,088 --> 00:02:51,640
I'm not sure this is the proper forum

56
00:02:51,674 --> 00:02:53,008
for such a discussion, Hank.

57
00:02:53,059 --> 00:02:54,893
Well, you asked me. I'm just thinking out loud.

58
00:02:54,927 --> 00:02:56,794
- Spitball.
- Okay, everyone.

59
00:02:56,812 --> 00:02:58,396
- That'll do it for today.
- Already?

60
00:02:58,431 --> 00:02:59,564
- Thanks for coming.
- Geez. My lord.

61
00:02:59,598 --> 00:03:00,798
Yeah, see you all tonight.

62
00:03:00,816 --> 00:03:02,600
You too, Hank. Correct?

63
00:03:02,634 --> 00:03:04,769
- I'm sorry?
- Tonight. My house.

64
00:03:04,854 --> 00:03:07,689
English department fall mixer. Ring any bells?

65
00:03:07,740 --> 00:03:08,973
Not a one.

66
00:03:08,991 --> 00:03:10,575
Oh, it's just a little
get together we have

67
00:03:10,609 --> 00:03:12,661
at the start of every school year.

68
00:03:12,695 --> 00:03:16,164
Faculty, grad students,
some wine, some cheese.

69
00:03:16,198 --> 00:03:18,950
Well, that sounds awesome and I'm stoked,

70
00:03:18,984 --> 00:03:21,536
but alas, I've got plans with
the soul-sucking vampire

71
00:03:21,587 --> 00:03:23,705
I call my daughter tonight,
so I gotta take a rain check...

72
00:03:23,756 --> 00:03:25,340
Well no, Chelsea's already asked

73
00:03:25,374 --> 00:03:27,125
if Becca can spend the night.

74
00:03:27,159 --> 00:03:28,659
Yes, but I think she'll change her plans

75
00:03:28,678 --> 00:03:30,929
when she hears what
her old man's got on tap.

76
00:03:30,963 --> 00:03:32,514
Besides, wine gives me a headache

77
00:03:32,548 --> 00:03:33,882
and cheese makes me fart, a lot.

78
00:03:33,933 --> 00:03:35,684
You don't want me stinking up the place.

79
00:03:35,718 --> 00:03:37,435
Now what if I said

80
00:03:37,470 --> 00:03:40,555
your job depends on it, Hank?

81
00:03:43,559 --> 00:03:45,393
Are you sexually harassing me right now?

82
00:03:45,444 --> 00:03:46,644
Because if you are,

83
00:03:46,678 --> 00:03:49,397
I think I'm gonna have to report you.

84
00:03:49,448 --> 00:03:52,683
For giving me a serious boner.

85
00:03:52,702 --> 00:03:55,286
Good to know. See you at 7:00.

86
00:03:59,875 --> 00:04:01,793
No means no, you know.

87
00:04:44,870 --> 00:04:47,738
This man is ruining my life.

88
00:04:47,757 --> 00:04:50,258
By making it unbearably awesome.

89
00:04:50,292 --> 00:04:52,410
Sweetie, I'm not really sure I understand

90
00:04:52,428 --> 00:04:53,628
what the problem is.

91
00:04:53,679 --> 00:04:55,130
He's delusional.

92
00:04:55,181 --> 00:04:57,265
He thinks we're going to
hang out and bond or something.

93
00:04:57,299 --> 00:05:01,886
Okay, hand it over. Thank you.

94
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:03,438
You don't understand, woman. I have a plan.

95
00:05:03,472 --> 00:05:05,056
You do?

96
00:05:05,090 --> 00:05:06,558
Yes, if we never leave the house,

97
00:05:06,592 --> 00:05:08,426
nothing bad can ever happen.

98
00:05:08,444 --> 00:05:10,695
Right, 'cause, like, your
parents never fuck you up.

99
00:05:10,729 --> 00:05:11,980
No, you see, you were supposed to find

100
00:05:12,031 --> 00:05:13,031
that last remark charming.

101
00:05:13,065 --> 00:05:15,200
Hold...

102
00:05:15,234 --> 00:05:18,286
Hello? This thing on?

103
00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:20,071
Yeah, yeah, yeah, hey, uh,

104
00:05:20,105 --> 00:05:23,408
I'm here, I just, um, my boss
is trying to get through.

105
00:05:23,442 --> 00:05:26,327
I'm... I'm late for a dinner
with him and some clients, so.

106
00:05:26,378 --> 00:05:27,745
Well, don't go. Just blow it off.

107
00:05:27,779 --> 00:05:30,165
Please, will you take care
of the Becca thing, please?

108
00:05:30,216 --> 00:05:32,750
Yes. I will take care of it.

109
00:05:32,784 --> 00:05:34,135
- Bye.
- Bye.

110
00:05:34,170 --> 00:05:36,421
- Becca!
- Yes, father?

111
00:05:36,505 --> 00:05:38,139
Don your best frock.

112
00:05:38,174 --> 00:05:40,842
The wine and cheese awaits.

113
00:05:43,462 --> 00:05:46,481
You see that bathroom over yonder?

114
00:05:46,515 --> 00:05:49,300
Once, I took every crooked inch

115
00:05:49,318 --> 00:05:52,070
Jackie Gleason had to offer in that stall.

116
00:05:52,104 --> 00:05:55,156
Signed Kristofferson
right here in this booth.

117
00:05:55,241 --> 00:05:59,410
Yeah, time there was
when I would get wet

118
00:05:59,445 --> 00:06:00,578
off a great sign.

119
00:06:00,779 --> 00:06:02,313
Oh, that's right.

120
00:06:02,331 --> 00:06:06,034
I'm talking dripping, fucking ganges wet.

121
00:06:07,253 --> 00:06:08,369
Speaking of the good old days...

122
00:06:08,420 --> 00:06:09,671
Hey, yeah. Sue Collini?

123
00:06:09,705 --> 00:06:10,988
Over there, sir.

124
00:06:11,006 --> 00:06:13,708
Hey, Springfield. Get your
toned tush over here.

125
00:06:13,759 --> 00:06:16,344
Sorry I'm late.

126
00:06:16,378 --> 00:06:18,546
Some Tarzana housewife paid a
grand to spend the day with me.

127
00:06:18,597 --> 00:06:20,098
She wanted to make out, so I did her a solid

128
00:06:20,132 --> 00:06:22,934
and I ate that butterscotch
for, like, 45 minutes straight.

129
00:06:22,968 --> 00:06:24,769
- Mm-hmm.
- Right, Rick.

130
00:06:24,803 --> 00:06:28,139
This is my subordinate
and prospective boytoy,

131
00:06:28,173 --> 00:06:29,607
- Charles W. Runkle.
- Pleasure.

132
00:06:29,642 --> 00:06:30,942
Sue and I used to see each other, you know.

133
00:06:30,976 --> 00:06:32,227
Early '80s.

134
00:06:32,278 --> 00:06:35,730
Rick, in what universe
is fucking like chinchillas

135
00:06:35,781 --> 00:06:37,699
and blowing coke up each other's asses

136
00:06:37,733 --> 00:06:39,734
"seeing each other"?

137
00:06:39,735 --> 00:06:41,286
I'm a big fan of your oeuvre, Rick.

138
00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:43,071
All of it.

139
00:06:43,122 --> 00:06:44,289
The music, the acting...

140
00:06:44,323 --> 00:06:45,874
Hey, I'm flattered.

141
00:06:45,908 --> 00:06:47,075
You know, like I said on the phone,

142
00:06:47,126 --> 00:06:48,743
I mean, I'm not looking for representation.

143
00:06:48,794 --> 00:06:50,995
Oh, bullshit.

144
00:06:51,029 --> 00:06:52,747
Housewives in Tarzana?

145
00:06:52,798 --> 00:06:55,133
Rick, don't tell me that you don't wanna

146
00:06:55,167 --> 00:06:57,001
rawdog the top shelf like you used to

147
00:06:57,035 --> 00:06:58,836
in your prime, huh?

148
00:06:58,870 --> 00:07:01,172
All due respect, Sue, life
just isn't about the pussy.

149
00:07:01,206 --> 00:07:04,058
It's about finding your
passion and never letting go,

150
00:07:04,092 --> 00:07:06,144
and this man has done just that.

151
00:07:06,178 --> 00:07:07,595
Quit licking his shaft.

152
00:07:07,646 --> 00:07:10,598
He's always been a prime
cut of usda beefcake,

153
00:07:10,649 --> 00:07:11,933
and he knows it.

154
00:07:11,984 --> 00:07:14,152
Sure, the ladies love him.

155
00:07:14,186 --> 00:07:15,687
September 7, 2002,

156
00:07:15,721 --> 00:07:18,439
the best sex I ever had with my wife.

157
00:07:18,490 --> 00:07:20,358
Rick Springfield at the
Universal Amphitheater,

158
00:07:20,392 --> 00:07:23,561
was like three solid hours of foreplay, dude.

159
00:07:23,579 --> 00:07:26,564
Everything she wanted
to do with him in 1982

160
00:07:26,582 --> 00:07:28,950
but didn't know how, she
did with me repeatedly

161
00:07:29,001 --> 00:07:30,118
and I thank you, sir.

162
00:07:30,169 --> 00:07:31,569
Fat lot of good that does me.

163
00:07:31,587 --> 00:07:33,371
Okay, Runkle, get to the point.

164
00:07:33,405 --> 00:07:35,072
First, we get you some indie cred.

165
00:07:35,090 --> 00:07:39,010
Let's find you your wrestler,
like Mickey Rourke.

166
00:07:39,044 --> 00:07:41,796
Let's see you blow people away
with your serious side, huh?

167
00:07:41,847 --> 00:07:44,582
Get an oscar nom for playing an addict,

168
00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:46,050
a cripple, a retard, whatever.

169
00:07:46,084 --> 00:07:48,419
Then you go into every office in town

170
00:07:48,437 --> 00:07:49,754
and you hit 'em with
your passion project.

171
00:07:49,772 --> 00:07:51,639
That's how you get it done.

172
00:07:51,690 --> 00:07:53,474
And Harry Greenberg Agency
actually has the mojo

173
00:07:53,525 --> 00:07:54,809
to make something like that happen?

174
00:07:54,860 --> 00:07:57,729
Fuck no. You supply the mojo.

175
00:07:57,763 --> 00:08:00,264
We take care of everything else.

176
00:08:00,282 --> 00:08:03,434
I like the sound of that.

177
00:08:03,452 --> 00:08:07,938
Church.

178
00:08:07,957 --> 00:08:09,574
You're scaring me, Sue.

179
00:08:09,608 --> 00:08:11,993
Does that mean you like that?

180
00:08:12,044 --> 00:08:14,212
Oh...

181
00:08:19,785 --> 00:08:21,586
Ahh.

182
00:08:30,262 --> 00:08:33,631
Finally. God, what took you so long?

183
00:08:33,649 --> 00:08:34,799
What up, Hank?

184
00:08:34,817 --> 00:08:36,100
Becca, this is your last chance

185
00:08:36,134 --> 00:08:37,268
to change your mind, come on.

186
00:08:37,302 --> 00:08:38,803
Just do me one favor.

187
00:08:38,821 --> 00:08:40,355
Anything, my churlish love.

188
00:08:40,406 --> 00:08:42,523
Try not to get too hammered.

189
00:08:42,574 --> 00:08:45,309
Don't put daddy in a corner.

190
00:08:45,327 --> 00:08:47,111
Oh, Hank. You don't wanna park there.

191
00:08:47,145 --> 00:08:49,280
Dean hates it when you block the entrance.

192
00:08:49,314 --> 00:08:51,199
Hmm, big date tonight?

193
00:08:51,250 --> 00:08:53,117
Is it that obvious?

194
00:08:53,151 --> 00:08:55,453
That dress could cure cancer!

195
00:08:56,872 --> 00:08:59,007
I think you should fuck him.

196
00:08:59,041 --> 00:09:00,258
You know, if he agreed to meet you

197
00:09:00,292 --> 00:09:02,326
at this sad assembly
of two-bit intellectuals,

198
00:09:02,344 --> 00:09:03,711
he clearly digs the shit out of you.

199
00:09:03,762 --> 00:09:07,215
Wow, you have the ability
to make a simple cocktail party

200
00:09:07,266 --> 00:09:09,550
into the worst thing that's
ever happened to you.

201
00:09:09,601 --> 00:09:11,436
- It's a gift, really.
- There you are.

202
00:09:11,470 --> 00:09:12,937
Did you two come together?

203
00:09:12,971 --> 00:09:14,722
No. We just came in together.

204
00:09:14,773 --> 00:09:16,107
Oh, I see.

205
00:09:16,141 --> 00:09:17,975
And I actually get more
bars outside, excuse me.

206
00:09:19,511 --> 00:09:21,178
Did you happen to see where
Becca and Chelsea got off to?

207
00:09:21,196 --> 00:09:23,347
They're fine. They went
straight to Chelsea's room.

208
00:09:23,365 --> 00:09:24,515
- Oh.
- Come in, come in.

209
00:09:24,533 --> 00:09:26,517
I have so many people I want you to meet.

210
00:09:26,535 --> 00:09:28,286
Oh?

211
00:09:31,623 --> 00:09:34,242
Come on, baby. Celebrate with me.

212
00:09:34,293 --> 00:09:36,577
Don't baby me, jackass. No.

213
00:09:36,628 --> 00:09:38,329
Fuck no. I got a date.

214
00:09:38,363 --> 00:09:40,698
Well, drop the zero and get with the hero.

215
00:09:40,716 --> 00:09:41,833
I signed a big fish today.

216
00:09:41,867 --> 00:09:43,718
Oh, well good for you.

217
00:09:43,752 --> 00:09:45,369
Maybe you can move the fuck out now.

218
00:09:45,387 --> 00:09:48,639
Right. Well. Force of habit, I guess.

219
00:09:48,674 --> 00:09:50,425
Every time I sign a client,

220
00:09:50,476 --> 00:09:52,042
I just can't help but picture the two of us

221
00:09:52,061 --> 00:09:53,711
with a bottle of bubbly.

222
00:09:53,729 --> 00:09:55,379
Well, that was then, Charlie.

223
00:09:55,397 --> 00:09:58,983
And this is now. Got it.

224
00:09:59,017 --> 00:10:02,019
Okay, well...

225
00:10:02,053 --> 00:10:03,271
have a nice date.

226
00:10:03,405 --> 00:10:05,723
Yeah, thanks.

227
00:10:13,248 --> 00:10:14,615
Runkle, you were on fire today.

228
00:10:14,666 --> 00:10:18,703
I mean, that was serious swifty lazar shit.

229
00:10:18,737 --> 00:10:22,457
I've never been so proud and so wet...

230
00:10:22,541 --> 00:10:24,909
at the same time.

231
00:10:24,927 --> 00:10:28,012
Come on.

232
00:10:32,968 --> 00:10:36,471
Thank you.

233
00:10:36,522 --> 00:10:38,473
How many jobs do you have, lady?

234
00:10:38,524 --> 00:10:40,808
You got a paper route too?

235
00:10:40,859 --> 00:10:43,227
Fill this thing up. Scotch preferably.

236
00:10:43,261 --> 00:10:44,562
I'm coming off of a lengthy conversation

237
00:10:44,596 --> 00:10:45,947
with a man in a sweater vest.

238
00:10:45,981 --> 00:10:48,282
Dean Koons keeps the good
stuff locked in his office.

239
00:10:48,317 --> 00:10:49,934
Which would be where, exactly?

240
00:10:49,952 --> 00:10:51,235
I can't tell you that.

241
00:10:51,269 --> 00:10:53,771
People like you mess
with the master's shit.

242
00:10:53,789 --> 00:10:55,540
People like me get blamed for it.

243
00:10:55,574 --> 00:10:57,208
Class warrior, are we?

244
00:10:57,242 --> 00:10:59,577
Jjust a girl saving for a rainy day.

245
00:10:59,611 --> 00:11:02,413
You know, the truth is I'm
a pretty shitty bartender.

246
00:11:02,447 --> 00:11:05,383
But I am a kick ass stripper.

247
00:11:05,417 --> 00:11:07,635
This bod is the true gift
that God gave me.

248
00:11:07,669 --> 00:11:09,337
I agree, but I think you're
selling yourself short still.

249
00:11:09,388 --> 00:11:12,056
What, I'm too smart to be a stripper?

250
00:11:12,090 --> 00:11:13,424
Smart has nothing to do with it.

251
00:11:13,458 --> 00:11:14,842
I'm just thinking in practical terms.

252
00:11:14,893 --> 00:11:16,427
Down the road, job opportunities

253
00:11:16,461 --> 00:11:18,763
tend to dwindle for those
in the more naked professions,

254
00:11:18,797 --> 00:11:19,931
if you understand what I'm saying.

255
00:11:19,965 --> 00:11:21,766
Mmm.

256
00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:22,967
Two empty glasses, Jackie, thank you.

257
00:11:22,985 --> 00:11:24,318
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm going to offer our, uh,

258
00:11:24,353 --> 00:11:27,471
visiting scholar from Amherst
some of my '82 La Tour.

259
00:11:27,489 --> 00:11:28,489
- Ooh.
- Hey.

260
00:11:28,524 --> 00:11:29,607
That's not cool, Dean Koons.

261
00:11:29,641 --> 00:11:31,809
Segregating your guests
into two classes,

262
00:11:31,827 --> 00:11:33,861
offering your good stuff
only to a select few.

263
00:11:33,912 --> 00:11:35,913
Well, when you get your Guggenheim,

264
00:11:35,948 --> 00:11:37,415
- we can talk about that.
- Oh.

265
00:11:37,449 --> 00:11:39,000
In the meantime,
you enjoy that glass

266
00:11:39,034 --> 00:11:41,002
of very middling cab.

267
00:11:41,036 --> 00:11:43,421
Asshole.

268
00:11:48,260 --> 00:11:49,994
- There you are.
- Oh.

269
00:11:50,012 --> 00:11:52,346
I see you found the toys in the attic.

270
00:11:52,381 --> 00:11:54,832
Ah. What, are you running
a museum here on the side

271
00:11:54,850 --> 00:11:56,050
or something?

272
00:11:56,101 --> 00:11:57,334
Oh, it's just his little hobby.

273
00:11:57,352 --> 00:11:58,936
Bores the shit out of me, actually.

274
00:11:58,971 --> 00:12:01,105
I'm quite relieved to catch you here alone.

275
00:12:01,139 --> 00:12:03,140
You don't care about the snooping?

276
00:12:03,174 --> 00:12:04,976
Snoop all you want.

277
00:12:05,010 --> 00:12:07,445
My life's an open book. Sadly.

278
00:12:07,479 --> 00:12:10,281
Besides, Becca must have
told you all about us by now.

279
00:12:10,315 --> 00:12:12,200
No, she's not much one for chatting.

280
00:12:12,234 --> 00:12:13,534
Texting, yes.

281
00:12:13,569 --> 00:12:15,236
Twittering, tweetering, twatting,

282
00:12:15,287 --> 00:12:17,205
staring solemnly at the old man.

283
00:12:17,239 --> 00:12:18,539
Oh, please.

284
00:12:18,574 --> 00:12:20,374
You fathers have it easy.

285
00:12:20,409 --> 00:12:22,877
Most days, I can barely get
a civil word out of Chelsea.

286
00:12:22,911 --> 00:12:24,879
At least Becca still 
talks about you

287
00:12:24,913 --> 00:12:26,797
with some sort of twisted affection.

288
00:12:26,832 --> 00:12:29,867
Re-Becca? My Becca? That
doesn't sound like her.

289
00:12:29,885 --> 00:12:31,219
No, it's true.

290
00:12:31,253 --> 00:12:32,536
We had an interesting
discussion the other day

291
00:12:32,554 --> 00:12:34,972
about the more scatological
elements in your work.

292
00:12:35,007 --> 00:12:36,307
And she knows quite a lot about Rabelais.

293
00:12:36,341 --> 00:12:37,892
Yes, that's me. I taught her that shit.

294
00:12:37,926 --> 00:12:39,376
Yeah, I figured,

295
00:12:39,394 --> 00:12:40,678
when she told me all about

296
00:12:40,712 --> 00:12:41,979
how you got your start in New York

297
00:12:42,014 --> 00:12:43,931
- and how you met her mother.
- No shit.

298
00:12:43,982 --> 00:12:45,900
Yeah, I mean, she seems a little confused

299
00:12:46,101 --> 00:12:47,384
about the issue of whether

300
00:12:47,402 --> 00:12:49,320
you two are still together or not.

301
00:12:49,354 --> 00:12:51,155
aren't we all.

302
00:12:51,189 --> 00:12:54,075
Oh, well, that's a shame.

303
00:12:54,109 --> 00:12:55,576
Gosh, I'd love to fix you up sometime.

304
00:12:55,611 --> 00:12:58,579
Uh, I appreciate that,
but that's a fool's errand.

305
00:12:58,614 --> 00:13:00,414
Oh, really? Why is that?

306
00:13:00,449 --> 00:13:02,232
Well, it's my purgatory, really.

307
00:13:02,251 --> 00:13:04,252
Dinner, drinks, whatever.

308
00:13:04,286 --> 00:13:05,703
Never really all that interested,

309
00:13:05,737 --> 00:13:08,205
but I find myself telling her
how beautiful she is anyway.

310
00:13:08,239 --> 00:13:10,007
'Cause it's true.

311
00:13:10,042 --> 00:13:11,709
All women are, in one way or another.

312
00:13:11,743 --> 00:13:13,761
You know, there's always something about

313
00:13:13,795 --> 00:13:15,429
every damn one of you.

314
00:13:15,464 --> 00:13:18,683
There's a smile, a curve, a secret.

315
00:13:18,717 --> 00:13:21,185
You ladies really are the
most amazing creatures.

316
00:13:21,219 --> 00:13:24,021
My life's work.

317
00:13:24,056 --> 00:13:25,773
But then there's the morning after.

318
00:13:25,807 --> 00:13:27,141
The hangover,

319
00:13:27,192 --> 00:13:29,026
and the realization that
I'm not quite as available

320
00:13:29,061 --> 00:13:30,394
as I thought I was the night before.

321
00:13:30,428 --> 00:13:33,197
And then she's gone.

322
00:13:33,231 --> 00:13:35,399
And I'm haunted by
yet another road not taken.

323
00:13:35,433 --> 00:13:38,786
Wow.

324
00:13:38,820 --> 00:13:40,121
I'm impressed.

325
00:13:40,155 --> 00:13:42,239
You actually dropped the act for a moment

326
00:13:42,273 --> 00:13:43,491
and said something real.

327
00:13:43,542 --> 00:13:44,775
Yes, I do that sometimes.

328
00:13:44,793 --> 00:13:45,793
But you never know when it's coming.

329
00:13:45,827 --> 00:13:47,277
You gotta stay on your toes.

330
00:13:47,296 --> 00:13:49,446
I'm like a boxer that bobs
and waves like Mohammed Ali

331
00:13:49,454 --> 00:13:50,781
or Joe Frazier or Sugar Ray Leonard.

332
00:13:50,799 --> 00:13:54,118
Basically, I'm just listing
boxers you might have...

333
00:13:56,638 --> 00:13:59,123
Oops.

334
00:13:59,141 --> 00:14:01,625
I'm sorry.

335
00:14:01,643 --> 00:14:04,812
The party's downstairs, isn't it?

336
00:14:07,733 --> 00:14:09,466
- Wow.
- Wow.

337
00:14:09,484 --> 00:14:12,069
I think you might be
selling yourself a little short.

338
00:14:12,104 --> 00:14:15,022
With just the tiniest bit of effort,

339
00:14:15,073 --> 00:14:18,308
you could've had someone much younger

340
00:14:18,327 --> 00:14:20,310
and much hotter.

341
00:14:20,329 --> 00:14:23,781
But better luck next time, teach.

342
00:14:33,091 --> 00:14:35,676
What's the matter with
you? You look flushed.

343
00:14:35,711 --> 00:14:37,044
Well, my virtue was just assailed.

344
00:14:37,095 --> 00:14:40,264
In a not entirely unpleasant
manner, but still.

345
00:14:40,298 --> 00:14:42,166
Leaving so soon?

346
00:14:42,184 --> 00:14:43,500
Yeah.

347
00:14:43,518 --> 00:14:45,803
Girl can only take so much
humiliation in one night.

348
00:14:45,837 --> 00:14:48,022
Oh, the gentleman caller never called, huh?

349
00:14:48,056 --> 00:14:50,507
No, he never called.
and he never texted.

350
00:14:50,525 --> 00:14:52,393
And he made an actual
plan to meet me here.

351
00:14:52,444 --> 00:14:54,111
And, you know, he seemed really into it

352
00:14:54,146 --> 00:14:55,396
on the first two dates.

353
00:14:55,447 --> 00:14:57,231
And then, he just never showed.

354
00:14:57,282 --> 00:14:59,650
What... go ahead and explain
that to me, would you?

355
00:14:59,684 --> 00:15:01,202
Take a shot, you said you would explain it

356
00:15:01,236 --> 00:15:03,287
and, and why?

357
00:15:03,321 --> 00:15:04,822
It's, like, so hard to make a phone call?

358
00:15:04,856 --> 00:15:05,990
You seem to forget that

359
00:15:06,024 --> 00:15:09,526
I'm not the man who stood you up.

360
00:15:09,544 --> 00:15:12,747
Ah, here's where he keeps the good stuff.

361
00:15:12,798 --> 00:15:14,031
Me!

362
00:15:14,049 --> 00:15:15,966
We were talking about me here.

363
00:15:16,001 --> 00:15:17,134
Okay.

364
00:15:17,169 --> 00:15:19,387
I'm gonna say this once
and one time only,

365
00:15:19,421 --> 00:15:21,639
so listen closely, okay?

366
00:15:21,673 --> 00:15:23,924
Fuck the fireman.

367
00:15:23,975 --> 00:15:25,593
If I recall, that was the same advice

368
00:15:25,644 --> 00:15:26,761
you gave me earlier in the evening.

369
00:15:26,812 --> 00:15:28,212
Totally different context.

370
00:15:28,230 --> 00:15:30,881
So that's it. Just fuck him.

371
00:15:30,899 --> 00:15:32,066
That's all you got.

372
00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:34,018
I... I gotta be totally laid back about this.

373
00:15:34,052 --> 00:15:35,385
I'm not even allowed to be pissed off.

374
00:15:35,404 --> 00:15:36,737
No, you get to be,
you get to be pissed off.

375
00:15:36,772 --> 00:15:38,773
But, uh, you know,

376
00:15:38,824 --> 00:15:41,108
maybe if you just relaxed for... whoa...

377
00:15:41,159 --> 00:15:43,611
half a second, and stopped looking so hard

378
00:15:43,662 --> 00:15:44,779
for the appropriate life mate,

379
00:15:44,830 --> 00:15:47,531
then you might wake up
one morning next to one.

380
00:15:47,565 --> 00:15:50,234
Right. 'Cause it's just that easy.

381
00:15:50,252 --> 00:15:51,535
I didn't say it was easy,

382
00:15:51,569 --> 00:15:52,903
but you've got a serious
game up in the matter.

383
00:15:52,921 --> 00:15:56,406
Oh, yeah. How, how so?

384
00:15:56,425 --> 00:15:59,210
'Cause you're scary smart
and you're crazy beautiful.

385
00:15:59,244 --> 00:16:01,512
You're also incredibly sexual.

386
00:16:01,546 --> 00:16:04,098
So there.

387
00:16:04,132 --> 00:16:05,966
What the fuck are you talking about?

388
00:16:06,017 --> 00:16:07,268
I'm a total nerd.

389
00:16:07,302 --> 00:16:08,886
True that, but you're a sexy nerd.

390
00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:10,754
You know, some women, they just shut off

391
00:16:10,772 --> 00:16:12,807
that part of themselves and
they expect prince charming

392
00:16:12,858 --> 00:16:15,059
to come along and pry open
their dusty old beavers

393
00:16:15,093 --> 00:16:16,861
with the jaws of life, or some shit like that.

394
00:16:16,895 --> 00:16:18,529
Not you. You're a good timer.

395
00:16:18,563 --> 00:16:19,947
Yep.

396
00:16:19,981 --> 00:16:21,065
Mm-hmm.

397
00:16:21,099 --> 00:16:24,785
And you're just saying this, right?

398
00:16:24,820 --> 00:16:27,988
Which... what, what do you mean?

399
00:16:28,039 --> 00:16:30,074
Well, you're saying
all this incredibly weird

400
00:16:30,108 --> 00:16:32,710
but incredibly sweet stuff about me and...

401
00:16:32,744 --> 00:16:33,944
Ah.

402
00:16:33,962 --> 00:16:35,162
But that's what you do, right?

403
00:16:35,213 --> 00:16:36,413
That's what you do in the situation when

404
00:16:36,447 --> 00:16:37,832
you're trying to make me feel better.

405
00:16:37,883 --> 00:16:41,135
Mmm. Yeah. Which is bad, why?

406
00:16:41,169 --> 00:16:42,753
It's not necessarily a bad thing.

407
00:16:42,787 --> 00:16:44,955
I just wonder if you mean anything

408
00:16:44,973 --> 00:16:46,456
that's coming out of your mouth.

409
00:16:46,475 --> 00:16:47,624
I don't just say shit.

410
00:16:47,642 --> 00:16:49,393
I mean, I do talk a lot of shit,

411
00:16:49,427 --> 00:16:53,681
but I generally mean what I
say and I say what I mean.

412
00:16:53,732 --> 00:16:55,432
Mm-hmm.

413
00:16:55,466 --> 00:16:59,270
So you see me as a viable candidate?

414
00:16:59,304 --> 00:17:00,804
Depends on what you're running for.

415
00:17:00,822 --> 00:17:04,241
Dick, you know what I mean.

416
00:17:04,276 --> 00:17:06,694
Look, if... if my love life
weren't as complicated

417
00:17:06,745 --> 00:17:09,413
as something that is...

418
00:17:09,447 --> 00:17:11,315
Really complicated that
I can't think of right now,

419
00:17:11,333 --> 00:17:13,534
I would totally check your teeth
and take you out for a ride.

420
00:17:13,585 --> 00:17:16,370
God, I hate you!

421
00:17:16,421 --> 00:17:19,874
What, you're a strange bird.
Why are you hating on me?

422
00:17:19,925 --> 00:17:22,042
'Cause I really thought you
were gonna kiss me just then.

423
00:17:22,260 --> 00:17:25,662
Oh. That is weird. That is very weird.

424
00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:26,881
Why?

425
00:17:26,932 --> 00:17:28,883
'Cause I was thinking the exact same thing.

426
00:17:28,934 --> 00:17:30,801
- Really?
- Well, not exactly.

427
00:17:30,835 --> 00:17:31,886
I was thinking about what it might be like

428
00:17:31,937 --> 00:17:33,804
to go down on you for the first time.

429
00:17:33,838 --> 00:17:34,972
It's kind of the same thing, isn't it?

430
00:17:35,006 --> 00:17:37,308
You're such an asshole.

431
00:17:55,043 --> 00:17:58,746
Do you feel it yet?

432
00:17:58,797 --> 00:18:00,697
Nope.

433
00:18:00,715 --> 00:18:02,132
Is that normal?

434
00:18:02,167 --> 00:18:03,533
Totally.

435
00:18:03,552 --> 00:18:05,836
Mushrooms take a while to hit.

436
00:18:08,206 --> 00:18:11,725
What's the craziest thing
you've ever done?

437
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:13,177
Sexually.

438
00:18:13,211 --> 00:18:16,397
Let's put it this way.

439
00:18:16,431 --> 00:18:17,982
My father would be thrilled

440
00:18:18,016 --> 00:18:22,186
by my lack of experience in the area.

441
00:18:22,220 --> 00:18:25,689
What about blow jobs?

442
00:18:25,697 --> 00:18:27,741
I touched one.

443
00:18:27,776 --> 00:18:29,326
Kind of freaked me out how hard it got.

444
00:18:29,361 --> 00:18:30,727
Hmm.

445
00:18:30,745 --> 00:18:32,196
You?

446
00:18:32,230 --> 00:18:34,865
A bunch of times. It's fun.

447
00:18:34,899 --> 00:18:38,285
Weren't you scared?

448
00:18:38,336 --> 00:18:40,337
Sure. At first.

449
00:18:40,372 --> 00:18:42,172
But then you realize how
much power you have

450
00:18:42,207 --> 00:18:44,625
over guys, and it's kind of exciting.

451
00:18:44,676 --> 00:18:47,928
I'm sure I'd do something wrong.

452
00:18:47,963 --> 00:18:49,713
It's not like you're gonna break it.

453
00:18:49,747 --> 00:18:52,433
I mean, as long as you're
careful with your teeth

454
00:18:52,467 --> 00:18:54,935
and you remember
to incorporate the balls,

455
00:18:54,970 --> 00:18:56,086
you can't fuck it up too bad.

456
00:18:56,104 --> 00:18:58,138
Ask any guy, he'll tell you.

457
00:18:58,189 --> 00:19:00,691
Okay. Good to know.

458
00:19:00,725 --> 00:19:03,760
Don't worry. We'll get you laid this year.

459
00:19:03,778 --> 00:19:05,863
No rush.

460
00:19:05,897 --> 00:19:07,264
Sometimes I think I'd be happy

461
00:19:07,282 --> 00:19:10,117
to stay a virgin forever.

462
00:19:10,151 --> 00:19:11,869
Seems like once you get laid...

463
00:19:11,903 --> 00:19:15,122
Your whole life basically turns to shit.

464
00:19:15,156 --> 00:19:16,957
I've heard that one before.

465
00:19:16,992 --> 00:19:18,242
Come on, Becky. You're slipping.

466
00:19:18,276 --> 00:19:19,960
I've done a lot of work to get you out of

467
00:19:19,995 --> 00:19:23,047
that gloomy fuckin' head of yours.

468
00:19:23,081 --> 00:19:25,165
Think about it.

469
00:19:25,216 --> 00:19:27,251
If my mother and father
hadn't been so quick

470
00:19:27,285 --> 00:19:30,838
to fuck each other, I
wouldn't be here right now.

471
00:19:30,889 --> 00:19:32,556
And if I wasn't here right now,

472
00:19:32,590 --> 00:19:34,091
I think they'd be a lot happier.

473
00:19:34,125 --> 00:19:36,727
Especially my father.

474
00:19:36,761 --> 00:19:38,128
That's really shitty

475
00:19:38,146 --> 00:19:40,931
that he makes you feel that way, Becca.

476
00:19:40,965 --> 00:19:45,853
He doesn't. It's me.

477
00:19:47,939 --> 00:19:50,074
I just see things.

478
00:19:52,777 --> 00:19:54,495
Is this it?

479
00:19:54,529 --> 00:19:55,812
Yep.

480
00:20:01,836 --> 00:20:04,204
Oh, wow.

481
00:20:04,255 --> 00:20:05,822
I know, right?

482
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:07,458
- No, not that.
- No?

483
00:20:07,492 --> 00:20:09,793
No. I'm such a slut.

484
00:20:09,827 --> 00:20:12,212
In the best way possible.

485
00:20:12,263 --> 00:20:14,715
You're not, like, gonna lose
respect for me now, are you?

486
00:20:14,766 --> 00:20:17,801
8% at the most.

487
00:20:17,835 --> 00:20:19,636
Hold on. Thought I heard somebody.

488
00:20:19,670 --> 00:20:21,138
Shit.

489
00:20:21,172 --> 00:20:23,023
- No... ah!
- Shit.

490
00:20:23,058 --> 00:20:25,809
Go, go.

491
00:20:35,686 --> 00:20:36,737
Ah.

492
00:20:54,172 --> 00:20:56,039
- Okay, you caught me.
- Oh, Jesus!

493
00:20:56,057 --> 00:20:57,725
Watch that stuff. Here, let
me take that off your hands.

494
00:20:59,677 --> 00:21:01,845
Moody, for Christ's sake. Don't handle me.

495
00:21:01,879 --> 00:21:03,731
Please don't handle me.

496
00:21:03,765 --> 00:21:05,048
What are you doing in my private office?

497
00:21:05,066 --> 00:21:06,150
Came in here to make a phone call.

498
00:21:06,184 --> 00:21:08,185
That was...  that was your cell phone?

499
00:21:08,219 --> 00:21:10,354
Yeah. I like me a '70s groove.

500
00:21:10,388 --> 00:21:12,156
What about that ditty you were singing

501
00:21:12,190 --> 00:21:13,323
when you came in here?

502
00:21:13,358 --> 00:21:15,943
May I inquire about that?

503
00:21:15,994 --> 00:21:17,227
That was an obscure classic.

504
00:21:17,245 --> 00:21:18,862
- Was it?
- Yeah, yeah.

505
00:21:18,896 --> 00:21:21,698
Is it, uh, some ditty of your
own invention, perhaps?

506
00:21:21,732 --> 00:21:24,284
No, it's right out of the
great American songbook,

507
00:21:24,335 --> 00:21:25,619
for your information.

508
00:21:25,670 --> 00:21:26,954
If you had a little more
culture, you'd understand that.

509
00:21:27,005 --> 00:21:28,738
Maybe something you
would have sung a capella

510
00:21:28,757 --> 00:21:30,457
with the Whiff N' Poofs?

511
00:21:30,508 --> 00:21:33,377
Gay man's health choir,
or something like that?

512
00:21:33,411 --> 00:21:35,379
Hey, you two. Party's in there.

513
00:21:35,463 --> 00:21:37,080
Ah. Yeah.

514
00:21:37,098 --> 00:21:38,298
You're not having
any of my lowland malt.

515
00:21:38,349 --> 00:21:39,633
I wouldn't dream of it

516
00:21:39,684 --> 00:21:41,418
but I would like some privacy
to make a phone call.

517
00:21:41,436 --> 00:21:42,553
- No.
- No?

518
00:21:42,587 --> 00:21:44,588
- No.
- What do you mean, no?

519
00:21:44,606 --> 00:21:45,773
That's not very polite.

520
00:21:45,807 --> 00:21:48,776
Well, my house, my rules.

521
00:21:52,397 --> 00:21:54,148
What's gotten into him?

522
00:21:54,199 --> 00:21:55,449
Is there another way in here?

523
00:21:55,483 --> 00:21:56,900
Why do you want more privacy?

524
00:21:56,934 --> 00:21:58,786
- Well, I just...
- Listen, Hank.

525
00:21:58,820 --> 00:22:01,738
About earlier, can we just
forget what happened?

526
00:22:01,772 --> 00:22:05,209
Oh, well, we needn't
ever speak of it again.

527
00:22:05,243 --> 00:22:07,244
But one does not very easily forget the kiss

528
00:22:07,278 --> 00:22:08,996
of a beautiful woman.

529
00:22:09,047 --> 00:22:11,215
That's right. I said it. I meant it.

530
00:22:11,249 --> 00:22:13,283
I'm here to represent it.

531
00:22:13,301 --> 00:22:17,337
I gotta run 'cause that cheese
is working on me.

532
00:22:23,294 --> 00:22:25,762
Ah.

533
00:22:25,796 --> 00:22:27,181
Mm.

534
00:22:27,232 --> 00:22:29,983
Oh, hi.

535
00:22:30,018 --> 00:22:32,519
I was looking for Charlie.

536
00:22:32,570 --> 00:22:33,570
He's gone home for the day.

537
00:22:33,605 --> 00:22:36,240
Oh. You must be Sue.

538
00:22:36,274 --> 00:22:38,642
Yes. Sue Collini.

539
00:22:38,660 --> 00:22:40,694
Marcy, the ex.

540
00:22:40,745 --> 00:22:42,946
- Ah.
- He's told me all about you.

541
00:22:43,031 --> 00:22:47,034
Oh.

542
00:22:46,918 --> 00:22:49,536
Okay, well, if you just tell him

543
00:22:49,587 --> 00:22:50,704
that I was looking for him,

544
00:22:50,705 --> 00:22:52,422
I was gonna give him this bottle of...

545
00:22:56,878 --> 00:22:59,713
Smoker's cough. Love those more menthols.

546
00:22:59,797 --> 00:23:03,684
Charlie.

547
00:23:03,718 --> 00:23:05,135
Charlie Runkle.

548
00:23:05,169 --> 00:23:06,720
Yes.

549
00:23:06,771 --> 00:23:07,938
Are you inside that woman?

550
00:23:07,972 --> 00:23:09,273
I can explain.

551
00:23:09,307 --> 00:23:11,558
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
- Marcy.

552
00:23:11,609 --> 00:23:13,360
Marcy, it...

553
00:23:13,394 --> 00:23:15,779
It was nice to meet you, Sue.

554
00:23:15,647 --> 00:23:18,565
Marcy, Marcy, don't go. Marcy.

555
00:23:18,616 --> 00:23:20,817
Oh, God, okay.

556
00:23:20,851 --> 00:23:24,488
Let's just keep my ass
closer to the ground, please.

557
00:23:24,522 --> 00:23:26,790
- There you go.
- Okay.

558
00:23:26,824 --> 00:23:30,360
Remind me to never
take your advice again.

559
00:23:30,378 --> 00:23:32,212
You're gonna thank me when
you're living in the suburbs

560
00:23:32,247 --> 00:23:33,580
with that house

561
00:23:33,631 --> 00:23:35,999
with the attached garage of your dreams.

562
00:23:38,002 --> 00:23:39,469
Would you like a smoke?

563
00:23:39,504 --> 00:23:41,471
No, I've broken quite enough rules

564
00:23:41,506 --> 00:23:43,557
for one night, thank you.

565
00:23:43,591 --> 00:23:45,008
Speaking of which, uh,

566
00:23:45,042 --> 00:23:48,545
probably wasn't cool of me
to take advantage of you

567
00:23:48,563 --> 00:23:50,647
in your moment of weakness.

568
00:23:50,682 --> 00:23:51,732
No, it wasn't.

569
00:23:51,766 --> 00:23:54,434
But in fairness, uh, all of my moments

570
00:23:54,485 --> 00:23:56,069
are moments of weakness now.

571
00:23:56,104 --> 00:23:57,404
Mmm.

572
00:23:57,438 --> 00:24:02,025
So what's the matter with me anyway?

573
00:24:02,059 --> 00:24:04,244
Well, now that I've had an
up close and personal view,

574
00:24:04,279 --> 00:24:08,031
I would have to say nothing.

575
00:24:08,065 --> 00:24:09,449
Oh, come on, that old chestnut?

576
00:24:09,500 --> 00:24:10,918
Mmm?

577
00:24:10,952 --> 00:24:14,070
It's not me, I just haven't
found the right guy?

578
00:24:14,088 --> 00:24:15,872
- Oh, my God.
- What?

579
00:24:15,906 --> 00:24:17,791
- Shit, he's here.
- Him who?

580
00:24:17,842 --> 00:24:19,075
The fire dude.

581
00:24:19,093 --> 00:24:21,345
Wow, the balls on that guy, three hours late.

582
00:24:21,379 --> 00:24:23,347
Then again, you just had
another dude inside you

583
00:24:23,354 --> 00:24:24,548
ten minutes ago.

584
00:24:24,582 --> 00:24:26,416
- Jill.
- Hey, Ross.

585
00:24:26,434 --> 00:24:28,936
- Hey.
- You made it.

586
00:24:28,970 --> 00:24:30,687
Yeah, you must really hate me right now.

587
00:24:30,722 --> 00:24:32,439
She does.

588
00:24:32,473 --> 00:24:35,559
Um, yeah. That's not a lie.

589
00:24:35,593 --> 00:24:37,144
I, um...

590
00:24:37,195 --> 00:24:38,528
This is...

591
00:24:38,563 --> 00:24:41,531
uh, this is Dr. Henry Moody.
I'm her thesis advisor.

592
00:24:41,566 --> 00:24:42,899
It's nice to meet you.

593
00:24:42,933 --> 00:24:44,434
I was beginning to think
that Jill made you up,

594
00:24:44,452 --> 00:24:46,486
that you were a figment
of her imagination.

595
00:24:46,537 --> 00:24:48,772
Well, I'm hoping you'll give me a chance

596
00:24:48,790 --> 00:24:51,074
to explain, you know, unless I'm too late.

597
00:24:51,108 --> 00:24:53,877
Maybe I've... maybe I missed my chance.

598
00:24:53,911 --> 00:24:55,462
Well, normally she's a real stickler

599
00:24:55,496 --> 00:24:56,946
for verities and balderdash,

600
00:24:56,965 --> 00:24:58,665
but if you were out saving lives,

601
00:24:58,716 --> 00:25:00,250
I think an exception can be made

602
00:25:00,284 --> 00:25:03,053
for a real life fire dude. Don't you think?

603
00:25:03,087 --> 00:25:05,088
What were you just saying,
you want another fucking drink?

604
00:25:05,173 --> 00:25:07,057
- Yes.
- Just now. You were, right?

605
00:25:07,091 --> 00:25:09,959
I was. I... I need another fucking drink.

606
00:25:09,978 --> 00:25:12,145
Yeah. And spring for the good stuff.

607
00:25:12,180 --> 00:25:14,464
Get the top shelf. Don't be cheap.

608
00:25:14,482 --> 00:25:15,965
See you in class, Professor.

609
00:25:15,984 --> 00:25:18,735
Mm-hmm.

610
00:25:20,154 --> 00:25:21,304
There's my dad.

611
00:25:21,322 --> 00:25:23,807
Hey. What have you two been up to?

612
00:25:23,825 --> 00:25:25,475
Late night swim, midnight tennis match?

613
00:25:25,493 --> 00:25:29,112
We, um, just walked down
to campus to get some pizza.

614
00:25:29,146 --> 00:25:31,248
Pizza?

615
00:25:31,282 --> 00:25:35,118
- Yes, pizza.
- Hmm.

616
00:25:35,152 --> 00:25:36,986
- Come closer.
- Why?

617
00:25:37,005 --> 00:25:39,989
I want to smell you.

618
00:25:45,546 --> 00:25:48,131
You smell like pizza.

619
00:25:48,165 --> 00:25:50,767
Be careful, don't get too close.

620
00:25:50,802 --> 00:25:52,386
I feel a burp coming on.

621
00:25:52,437 --> 00:25:55,131
- You wouldn't.
- I would.

622
00:25:55,139 --> 00:25:58,358
And remember, sometimes burps
smell worse than farts.

623
00:25:58,393 --> 00:25:59,643
Is that a threat?

624
00:25:59,677 --> 00:26:01,344
You guys are so gross.

625
00:26:01,362 --> 00:26:03,063
What, there's no bodily
functions at the deanery?

626
00:26:03,114 --> 00:26:04,514
Just catered affairs?

627
00:26:07,035 --> 00:26:10,320
Hey, dad, don't pick me up
till noon tomorrow, okay?

628
00:26:10,354 --> 00:26:11,905
Okay, sweetie.

629
00:26:16,794 --> 00:26:20,247
Very cheerful. Very cheerful.

630
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:26,970
One night, Felix. That's it. All right?

631
00:26:27,004 --> 00:26:28,972
Understood.

632
00:26:29,006 --> 00:26:30,340
I just, I can't go back there tonight.

633
00:26:30,374 --> 00:26:33,226
I can't face her. Not after this humiliation.

634
00:26:33,261 --> 00:26:34,878
Remind me again how this humiliation

635
00:26:34,896 --> 00:26:36,980
is different from all the others.

636
00:26:37,014 --> 00:26:39,649
I'm gonna need some eggs
benedict tomorrow, blue man.

637
00:26:39,684 --> 00:26:40,684
That I can do.

638
00:26:40,718 --> 00:26:42,736
What I cannot do is resist the allure

639
00:26:42,770 --> 00:26:44,721
of a powerful woman.

640
00:26:44,739 --> 00:26:47,891
So we're 100% sure
she's 100% woman, right?

641
00:26:47,909 --> 00:26:51,027
The balls of steel thing
is just metaphorical?

642
00:26:51,061 --> 00:26:54,564
You know what did the trick, Hank?

643
00:26:54,582 --> 00:26:57,233
What set me over the edge
after weeks of resisting,

644
00:26:57,251 --> 00:26:59,619
one tiny little compliment about my agenting.

645
00:26:59,670 --> 00:27:01,204
That's it.

646
00:27:01,238 --> 00:27:02,456
That's all it takes to make a man come across.

647
00:27:02,507 --> 00:27:04,791
They are not complicated creatures.

648
00:27:04,842 --> 00:27:06,543
Don't be so hard on yourself.

649
00:27:06,577 --> 00:27:09,412
You were sexually harassed tonight.

650
00:27:09,430 --> 00:27:11,348
As was I.

651
00:27:11,382 --> 00:27:14,101
No man can withstand
that kind of pressure.

652
00:27:14,135 --> 00:27:15,268
Yeah, but do you know where I'd be

653
00:27:15,303 --> 00:27:16,553
if I'd been just a tiny bit stronger?

654
00:27:16,587 --> 00:27:19,272
Back in the promised land.

655
00:27:19,307 --> 00:27:20,423
The whole package, man.

656
00:27:20,441 --> 00:27:22,309
My own house, my own bed,

657
00:27:22,360 --> 00:27:25,695
my own wife.

658
00:27:25,730 --> 00:27:28,615
Next year, my Hebrew friend.

659
00:27:28,649 --> 00:27:30,934
Next year in Jerusalem.

660
00:27:36,073 --> 00:27:39,139
Sync by honeybunny - corrected by chamallow35
www.addic7ed.com