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Previously on Californication...
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- So this is where you work.
- You want to come inside?
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Would that involve seeing you naked?
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- Oh, most definitely.
- I think not.
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In the interest of student-teacher relations.
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Hank... Hank!
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Yes, Fraulein?
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Tonight, my house, English department fall mixer.
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How many jobs do you have, lady?
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You got a paper route too?
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Did you two come together?
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No. We just came in together.
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Oops.
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I fucking hate you!
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Okay, I'll just... I'll move back in.
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I do my thing, you do yours.
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Fine by me.
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Aah!
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No means no, you know!
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Is this the surprise you were talking about?
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I signed a big fish today.
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Oh, well, good for you.
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Maybe you can move the fuck out now.
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Come on.
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I was looking for Charlie.
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Charlie, are you inside that woman?
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I can explain.
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Bob's your uncle. Oh...
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Oh, hey... Felicio.
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Looks like you caught me doing a little... ahh...
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pre-class meditato.
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We should talk.
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Oh, shit, you're not preggers, are you?
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Hank, we kissed. That was all.
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Well, technically speaking, you kissed me,
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for what it's worth.
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I've never done that before.
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Wow, you never kissed a man?
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Now, that's just plain weird.
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What, are you a hooker or something?
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'Cause hookers don't kiss.
Neither do marines.
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That's the best gay porn title I ever heard:
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"Marines don't kiss."
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What I'm saying is,
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I've never stepped outside
of my marriage before.
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Well, of course not. Duh.
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Who in their right mind would step out
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on his royal deanness?
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Look, I know Stacy's
not exactly of your tribe.
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But once upon a time I was
very much in love with the man.
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Yeah.
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Before he cheated on me, that is.
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Whoa, Nelly!
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Are you trying to tell me that
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that smarmy piece of wiener cheese
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took his love to town?
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Oldest story in the book, I'm afraid.
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He fell for one of his students.
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We got through it, though.
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Counseling, couples therapy.
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Over-intellectualizing the whole thing
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to an absurd degree.
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We're really quite good at that.
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Wow, rock on with your bad selves.
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That's... that's awesome, but I'm guessing
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that you feel like you're... owed one.
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like you got this "get out of jail free" card,
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and you just don't know
how or when to use it?
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Or maybe I do.
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Oh, well, shucks.
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Uh, I... I'd be flattered,
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but I try not to involve myself
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in other people's domestic strife.
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Really, Hank?
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I haven't known you all that long,
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but that doesn't seem like
part of your programming.
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That's the thing. It's a relatively new thing
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based on a shitload of
really horrible experiences.
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- But it's a thing nonetheless.
- Hmm.
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And who says I'd ever cash in such a chit
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on the likes of you?
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Whoa. Well, uh...
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I would be the lucky one if you would.
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I mean, you're a great broad, Felicia.
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You deserve to be happier.
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- Mm...
- Uh-Oh.
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Why can't I stop kissing you?
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Oh, it's not your fault.
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I'm like flypaper for the emotionally disturbed.
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- Oop.
- Ow, that's my balls.
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Oh, hey, am I interrupting something?
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Just some furtive fucking.
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- I'll come back.
- Please. This fellow?
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Give a girl some credit.
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I have to go to class.
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Okay. Ta.
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We should talk.
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Oh, shit, you're not preggers, are you?
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What are you talking about?
You said you were snipped.
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Phew, that's a relief.
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We can't do that anymore.
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You're right. We should not.
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I mean, we could lose our jobs, our homes...
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our citizenship.
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Yeah, I know.
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I was more thinking along the lines
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that I haven't had the sex in a while.
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And the other night was kind of like
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waking a sleeping tiger.
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If we're not gonna be doing it
on a regular basis,
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I don't think we should be doing it at all.
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You know what I mean?
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I do know what you mean,
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but that whole waking
the sleeping tiger thing
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got me hard.
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Mm. And I'm wet.
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Hard and wet, that's a winning combination.
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That's like cookies and cream, or...
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Lennon and McCartney.
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Mm.
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Hank, I've been making
some phone calls on your behalf.
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And guess what.
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People think you're a cunt. No joke.
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Now, here's what I think
we should do.
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There's a lot of dried up
Hollywood snatch out there
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in need of watering.
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Powerful older women
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whose limp-dicked husbands
have long since stopped
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tending their gardens.
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And they want someone
young, dumb, full of come.
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That's where you come in.
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Now, I think we should
send you around town,
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these executive suites,
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and you charm your way
into the hearts, minds,
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and pants of these unfuckable monsters.
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Next thing you know, my phone is ringing
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for Hank Moody.
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So you're suggesting that
I dump this whole writer thing
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and reinvent myself as a
Hollywood man-whore?
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Oh, abso-fuckin'-lutely.
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And then we turn around
and we sell your story
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as a modern day American gigolo.
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- What do you think?
- What are you guys doing?
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You playing footsie?
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She's playing footsie, not me.
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Oh, we're not dating. Just fucking.
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Really?
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- Just the once.
- Oh, bullshit.
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I gave you two blow jobs in one night.
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And you ate this pussy
like your mama made it.
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Oh, holy fuckballs! I got a lunch.
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Kristofferson. My most loyal client.
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Oh, God, I get in a puddle
just thinking about it.
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Oh, Runkle, now, don't be jealous.
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I think we should keep emotion out
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of this thing of ours.
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Good idea, Sue.
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I'm totally with you on that.
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Yeah. What are you doing later, Hank?
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- Uh...
- Party at my place.
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Why don't you stop by
for a steak and a blow job?
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I'd love to see you and Runkle
with your swords crossed.
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Collini out.
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What the fuck is going on, big boy?
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Just goin' with the flow.
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Hey, I gotta go pick up Becca.
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I promised her I'd take her shopping.
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You want to hit
a strip club later?
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- Buh-Buh-Sheeure.
- Yeah.
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That sounds like a good time.
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Yeah, I got a student that works at one.
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Of course you do.
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She dropped my class... I think she did...
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and I'm perturbed. I want to find out why.
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But I can't go alone.
That would be unseemly.
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Agreed.
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Hey, hey, you gonna buy me a lap dance?
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Maybe.
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If you promise not to come in your pants.
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Moody out.
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Come on, Becca, you're killing me softly here.
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Whoa.
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Okay, I'm gonna pretend I didn't see that.
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Just bring my daughter back alive,
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and I won't call the cops.
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- Okay? I promise.
- Dad...
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You have no fashion sense whatsoever.
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I have excellent fashion sense.
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I know what works for me.
I have a uniform.
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And a massive brain tumor.
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Why, because I don't want
to see half your butt crack
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every time you get out of the car?
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All right, fine. I'm guilty.
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- Call me crazy.
- May i?
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May you what, butt into our conversation?
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Sure. Feel free. Go ahead.
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She looks amazing.
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See? What she said.
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Well, of course she looks amazing...
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to the tune of... 200 quatloos?
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Jesus Christ, if I didn't already object
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on moral and religious grounds,
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I'm never gonna spend
that kind of money on clothes.
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You promised you'd take me shopping.
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Yes, honey, but I thought
that meant, you know,
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buying a few t-shirts at Hot Topic
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00:08:26,637 --> 00:08:28,972
and grabbing an orange julius
or something like that.
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I'm not that girl anymore, dad.
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00:08:31,976 --> 00:08:33,977
She's not that girl anymore, dad.
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Thanks for the help, shopkeep.
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00:08:35,396 --> 00:08:37,981
Look, um, I think I see someone over there
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in the market for a $250 Jethro tull t-shirt.
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And by the way, I was at that show.
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I paid all of ten bucks for the shirt.
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Go. Exploit. Be gone.
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I hate you.
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00:08:47,542 --> 00:08:49,576
Becs? Bexster?
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Hey, listen, why don't we, um,
go for a little walk and talk,
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00:08:51,946 --> 00:08:53,330
and I'll, uh...
220
00:08:53,381 --> 00:08:54,998
I'll get you one of those
hot dogs on a stick
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00:08:55,049 --> 00:08:56,917
that you like?
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00:08:56,951 --> 00:08:59,052
Or that you used to love, anyway.
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I don't even know. I'm giving up. That's it.
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- Wow.
- There.
225
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Are you happy now?
226
00:09:09,847 --> 00:09:10,897
Sort of.
227
00:09:10,932 --> 00:09:13,967
But not really. Not if you're not.
228
00:09:13,985 --> 00:09:16,269
You can't have it both ways, dad.
229
00:09:18,189 --> 00:09:19,356
Are you expecting someone?
230
00:09:19,407 --> 00:09:20,473
Godot.
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00:09:20,491 --> 00:09:23,660
Oh, Godot. Ho ho. That's not bad.
232
00:09:23,694 --> 00:09:27,814
- Hey, Chelsea.
- I want to show you something.
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00:09:27,832 --> 00:09:29,416
We're working on her manners.
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00:09:29,450 --> 00:09:31,701
Hideous creatures, these teenage girls.
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Monstrous. Couldn't agree with you more.
236
00:09:34,088 --> 00:09:35,172
Is it too late drown them in the tub?
237
00:09:35,206 --> 00:09:37,207
Would you like some tea or sherry or...
238
00:09:37,258 --> 00:09:40,326
- What is it, pimm?
- Oh, no, thanks.
239
00:09:40,344 --> 00:09:41,545
I heard about the fight.
240
00:09:41,596 --> 00:09:44,047
Oh, "fight." Not... not really a fight.
241
00:09:44,098 --> 00:09:46,833
It was more like a disagreement.
242
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Caring out loud, really.
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00:09:47,885 --> 00:09:49,936
Let me take her shopping with us.
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00:09:49,971 --> 00:09:52,672
Oh, no. Your daughter looks like a trollop.
245
00:09:52,690 --> 00:09:54,691
That's... that's mean.
246
00:09:54,725 --> 00:09:57,060
I'm just kidding. Not really.
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Come on, just tell me how much
you want to spend.
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00:09:59,981 --> 00:10:02,532
I'll make the most of it,
and I'll make her look as...
249
00:10:02,567 --> 00:10:04,901
I don't know, classy as humanly possible.
250
00:10:04,952 --> 00:10:06,153
- I don't know.
- Oh, come on.
251
00:10:06,187 --> 00:10:08,038
She's such a sweet girl
and misses her mother
252
00:10:08,072 --> 00:10:09,906
and doesn't know how to talk to her father.
253
00:10:09,957 --> 00:10:11,124
She used to.
254
00:10:11,159 --> 00:10:13,710
Yeah, well, things change. She's evolving.
255
00:10:13,744 --> 00:10:15,829
She's trying out different personalities.
256
00:10:15,863 --> 00:10:17,631
You've got to adapt or die.
257
00:10:17,665 --> 00:10:19,382
Well, maybe I'll come with you.
258
00:10:19,417 --> 00:10:21,468
Absolutely not. No. No, no, no.
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00:10:21,502 --> 00:10:23,970
Besides, I wouldn't want her to see me
260
00:10:24,005 --> 00:10:26,506
pull you into a dark corner
and make out with you.
261
00:10:26,540 --> 00:10:30,260
You dirty english rose, you.
262
00:10:30,311 --> 00:10:35,065
It would appear that you
bring it out in me.
263
00:10:38,552 --> 00:10:40,720
You all ready?
264
00:10:45,693 --> 00:10:47,994
Can I go?
265
00:10:48,029 --> 00:10:50,030
Yes.
266
00:10:50,064 --> 00:10:52,616
See, I told you he wasn't quite the asshole
267
00:10:52,667 --> 00:10:54,501
you said he was.
268
00:10:54,535 --> 00:10:56,670
Come along, girls. Let's hit the road.
269
00:10:56,704 --> 00:11:00,340
That's Mr. Asshole to you, Chelsea.
270
00:11:00,374 --> 00:11:03,260
- Mm-Hmm.
- Yeah. Okay.
271
00:11:10,218 --> 00:11:12,802
Check it out.
272
00:11:12,854 --> 00:11:15,889
I think I can see where
they put the implants in.
273
00:11:15,923 --> 00:11:18,859
Ba-Jesus, it's like the laces on a football.
274
00:11:18,893 --> 00:11:20,143
You gonna be like this all night?
275
00:11:20,194 --> 00:11:21,361
Hey, is Jackie working?
276
00:11:21,395 --> 00:11:23,613
Sorry, sweetie, don't know any Jackie.
277
00:11:23,648 --> 00:11:25,315
You want a dance?
278
00:11:25,366 --> 00:11:27,234
Do you really think I would strip
279
00:11:27,268 --> 00:11:28,935
under my real name?
280
00:11:28,953 --> 00:11:32,038
Uh, sorry, I don't know the protocol.
281
00:11:32,073 --> 00:11:34,241
- Well, you're forgiven.
- Hmm.
282
00:11:34,275 --> 00:11:36,442
Well, what is your stripper handle, then?
283
00:11:36,460 --> 00:11:37,494
- Ashley.
- Ashley?
284
00:11:37,545 --> 00:11:39,663
- Ashley Madison.
- Ashley Madison.
285
00:11:39,714 --> 00:11:42,299
Meet my agent. This is my student.
286
00:11:42,333 --> 00:11:43,550
Of course she is.
287
00:11:43,584 --> 00:11:46,303
You know, I had a feeling you'd show up
288
00:11:46,337 --> 00:11:47,587
sooner or later.
289
00:11:47,621 --> 00:11:48,922
Is that why you dropped my class?
290
00:11:48,956 --> 00:11:52,092
Yeah, because I'm just
that obsessed with you.
291
00:11:52,126 --> 00:11:53,927
Listen, I really can't
sit around and chitchat
292
00:11:53,961 --> 00:11:54,961
all night.
293
00:11:54,979 --> 00:11:57,514
So you can buy a dance or hit the road.
294
00:11:57,565 --> 00:11:58,732
Come here, my agent.
295
00:11:58,766 --> 00:12:03,403
- Ooh...
- Oh, settle down.
296
00:12:03,437 --> 00:12:04,905
Okay, this is for me.
297
00:12:04,939 --> 00:12:08,074
And this... well, let's go, here...
298
00:12:08,109 --> 00:12:09,826
This is for Ralph Baldo Emerson here.
299
00:12:09,860 --> 00:12:11,528
Come on, big guy.
300
00:12:13,698 --> 00:12:15,749
Oh...
301
00:12:23,424 --> 00:12:24,657
What happened to you?
302
00:12:24,675 --> 00:12:26,843
Nothing scandalous.
303
00:12:26,877 --> 00:12:29,596
- Writing's just not my thing.
- I beg to differ.
304
00:12:29,630 --> 00:12:31,631
Well, you can beg all you want,
305
00:12:31,665 --> 00:12:33,266
but it was an elective.
306
00:12:33,301 --> 00:12:35,685
I'm a business major. I don't have time for it.
307
00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:38,138
Business?
308
00:12:38,172 --> 00:12:40,473
Who studies business in this day and age?
309
00:12:40,507 --> 00:12:43,143
That feels really good, by the way.
310
00:12:43,177 --> 00:12:44,527
- Nice work.
- Thanks.
311
00:12:44,562 --> 00:12:47,397
That there is a man boner.
312
00:12:47,448 --> 00:12:51,401
Mm, yeah, that's pretty much
what we shoot for in here.
313
00:12:51,452 --> 00:12:55,121
Look, I know what you're thinking.
314
00:12:55,156 --> 00:12:57,791
I'm not one of your typical
fucked-Up damage cases
315
00:12:57,825 --> 00:12:59,960
who's just lusting for male attention.
316
00:12:59,994 --> 00:13:01,628
I'm not saying those girls don't exist.
317
00:13:01,662 --> 00:13:04,864
Throw a rock in here
and you'll hit six or seven,
318
00:13:04,882 --> 00:13:06,833
but that's not me.
319
00:13:06,867 --> 00:13:11,037
I am just making the most of what I got
320
00:13:11,055 --> 00:13:12,672
while I still got it.
321
00:13:12,706 --> 00:13:16,726
Ahh... right.
322
00:13:16,761 --> 00:13:18,144
So what's next?
323
00:13:18,179 --> 00:13:20,764
- I get the hell out.
- Just like that?
324
00:13:20,815 --> 00:13:26,102
You're just gonna disappear
like a...topless salinger?
325
00:13:26,153 --> 00:13:28,271
The stripper in the rye.
326
00:13:28,322 --> 00:13:30,857
Hey, did you just come in your pants?
327
00:13:30,891 --> 00:13:32,742
What? You were grinding...
328
00:13:32,777 --> 00:13:33,777
- Disgusting!
- I'm sorry.
329
00:13:33,828 --> 00:13:35,161
It was an exceptional lap dance.
330
00:13:35,196 --> 00:13:37,030
Freakin' gross!
331
00:13:37,064 --> 00:13:38,498
Nicely done, Runkle.
332
00:13:38,532 --> 00:13:40,617
It was a compliment.
333
00:13:40,668 --> 00:13:43,370
A liquid compliment.
334
00:13:43,404 --> 00:13:45,288
Hello?
335
00:13:45,339 --> 00:13:47,240
Hey, Marcy, baby!
336
00:13:47,258 --> 00:13:49,843
I'm at a strip club with Hank.
337
00:13:49,877 --> 00:13:53,797
I just got a lap dance.
It's awesome here.
338
00:13:53,848 --> 00:13:56,049
Really?
339
00:13:56,083 --> 00:13:57,750
No shit.
340
00:13:57,768 --> 00:13:59,636
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be right there.
341
00:13:59,687 --> 00:14:00,920
Hey, I gotta go.
342
00:14:00,938 --> 00:14:02,939
Somebody who came and saw the house
343
00:14:02,973 --> 00:14:04,391
is coming back for the third time this week.
344
00:14:04,425 --> 00:14:05,692
I think they might make an offer.
345
00:14:05,726 --> 00:14:07,727
- Good luck, pal.
- No. Sticky fingers.
346
00:14:07,761 --> 00:14:09,646
Nice to meet you, Ashley Madison.
347
00:14:13,034 --> 00:14:14,901
See, what did I tell you?
348
00:14:14,935 --> 00:14:16,202
Am I not awesome?
349
00:14:16,237 --> 00:14:19,739
Do I not provide a valid
and worthwhile public service?
350
00:14:19,773 --> 00:14:21,408
Yes, all that and more.
351
00:14:21,442 --> 00:14:23,543
But you're a damn fine writer too.
352
00:14:23,577 --> 00:14:25,495
So you say.
353
00:14:25,546 --> 00:14:27,464
But I don't really care about that.
354
00:14:27,498 --> 00:14:28,882
Well, maybe you should.
355
00:14:28,916 --> 00:14:31,334
- Maybe it's another way out.
- Of what?
356
00:14:31,385 --> 00:14:33,586
The hole you're desperately
trying to dig out of.
357
00:14:33,620 --> 00:14:35,171
Maybe not as fast,
358
00:14:35,222 --> 00:14:37,974
but the payoff will last
a lot longer, trust me.
359
00:14:38,008 --> 00:14:39,843
You know, I don't know
a thing about you, teach.
360
00:14:39,894 --> 00:14:42,729
Where you grew up, what you believe in.
361
00:14:42,763 --> 00:14:45,098
But you really have no idea
where I come from.
362
00:14:45,132 --> 00:14:46,399
The shit I've seen.
363
00:14:46,434 --> 00:14:47,400
- Oh?
- Mm.
364
00:14:47,435 --> 00:14:48,902
All right, well, tell me.
365
00:14:48,936 --> 00:14:49,986
Why?
366
00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:52,605
It's boring as shit.
367
00:14:52,639 --> 00:14:53,773
I don't know, tell me.
368
00:14:53,807 --> 00:14:55,525
Okay, do you really want to hear
369
00:14:55,576 --> 00:14:57,643
about the father that I never knew?
370
00:14:57,661 --> 00:15:00,480
The mother who used to clean
rich people's houses
371
00:15:00,498 --> 00:15:03,333
to get me to college?
372
00:15:03,367 --> 00:15:05,452
Writing is just a... it's a pipe dream.
373
00:15:05,486 --> 00:15:06,703
You can't really make a living
374
00:15:06,754 --> 00:15:08,538
doing something like that.
375
00:15:08,589 --> 00:15:11,925
Actually, that's how
you end up teaching.
376
00:15:11,959 --> 00:15:13,510
- Ouch.
- Mm.
377
00:15:13,544 --> 00:15:16,662
Instead, I would rather
retire my mother, you know.
378
00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:18,431
And if I have to use my body to do so,
379
00:15:18,466 --> 00:15:19,849
then so fucking be it.
380
00:15:19,884 --> 00:15:23,103
You know, I appreciate you
trying to help me unleash
381
00:15:23,137 --> 00:15:26,689
my inner Hemingway, but I'm a big girl.
382
00:15:26,724 --> 00:15:28,441
You know, I can take care of myself.
383
00:15:28,476 --> 00:15:31,561
Wow. I think you should
really get back into class.
384
00:15:31,612 --> 00:15:33,813
We could workshop
that little story of yours.
385
00:15:33,847 --> 00:15:35,899
I'm not sure I believe a word of it,
386
00:15:35,950 --> 00:15:37,117
but I dig the details.
387
00:15:37,151 --> 00:15:40,286
It was a pleasure meeting you, Ashley, uh...
388
00:15:40,321 --> 00:15:41,354
Madison.
389
00:15:41,372 --> 00:15:45,458
- Ashley Madison.
- Mm-Hmm.
390
00:15:47,578 --> 00:15:49,579
Jesus, took you long enough.
391
00:15:49,630 --> 00:15:51,915
I'm sorry. I had to call a cab.
392
00:15:51,966 --> 00:15:53,750
What's with the stain?
393
00:15:53,801 --> 00:15:57,420
Egh, don't bother. I don't want to know.
394
00:15:57,471 --> 00:15:59,472
I'm on the rag, and I'll start screaming.
395
00:15:59,507 --> 00:16:00,673
I don't want to scream.
396
00:16:00,707 --> 00:16:02,342
Okay, okay, what can I do?
397
00:16:02,376 --> 00:16:04,644
Um, just make sure
your jerk off paraphernalia
398
00:16:04,678 --> 00:16:06,212
is all tucked away.
399
00:16:06,230 --> 00:16:07,347
Gone. Done. What else?
400
00:16:07,381 --> 00:16:10,016
Uh, that's it.
401
00:16:10,050 --> 00:16:12,101
I think I'm good with that.
402
00:16:12,153 --> 00:16:14,938
So this is it, huh?
403
00:16:14,989 --> 00:16:16,389
What?
404
00:16:16,407 --> 00:16:19,492
We're really gonna do this? Sell the place?
405
00:16:19,527 --> 00:16:20,743
Isn't that what we want?
406
00:16:20,778 --> 00:16:22,695
Yeah, sure, I guess.
407
00:16:22,729 --> 00:16:23,863
Just, you know, all of a sudden,
408
00:16:23,897 --> 00:16:25,698
a lot of memories
come flooding back.
409
00:16:25,732 --> 00:16:29,335
Some bad, but so many good, really.
410
00:16:29,370 --> 00:16:30,870
Great even.
411
00:16:30,904 --> 00:16:33,173
Can you stop, Charlie? Just stop, okay?
412
00:16:33,207 --> 00:16:34,924
'Cause I really don't want to go traipsing
413
00:16:34,959 --> 00:16:37,076
down memory lane
with you right now.
414
00:16:37,094 --> 00:16:40,213
Ugh, I gotta go change
my fucking tampon.
415
00:16:47,221 --> 00:16:48,921
- Is that all you got?
- Come on.
416
00:16:48,939 --> 00:16:50,607
- Yeah, Ashley.
- Come on, Ashley.
417
00:16:50,641 --> 00:16:52,942
- Party. Yeah.
- Party with us.
418
00:16:52,977 --> 00:16:54,861
Hey, Jackie.
419
00:16:54,895 --> 00:16:56,813
You all right?
420
00:16:56,864 --> 00:16:58,031
Yeah. Fine.
421
00:16:58,065 --> 00:16:59,866
You know, big girl. Can take care of myself.
422
00:16:59,900 --> 00:17:02,068
- Remember?
- You sure?
423
00:17:02,102 --> 00:17:03,203
Yeah.
424
00:17:03,237 --> 00:17:04,287
That means you can
take off now, old timer.
425
00:17:04,321 --> 00:17:06,990
Oh. I'm not sure I want to.
426
00:17:07,041 --> 00:17:08,708
I'm... I'm lonely.
427
00:17:08,742 --> 00:17:11,244
What do I have to do to join
this little homoerotic band
428
00:17:11,278 --> 00:17:12,795
of thieves here?
429
00:17:12,830 --> 00:17:14,047
- Okay...
- Someone's looking
430
00:17:14,081 --> 00:17:15,882
for a mouthful of cock and balls, huh?
431
00:17:15,916 --> 00:17:19,335
Well, that does not sound
very appetizing or filling.
432
00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:22,972
Oh, shit! Bruce, Johnny, over here, quick!
433
00:17:23,007 --> 00:17:25,592
- Kick his ass.
- Leave him alone! Stop!
434
00:17:25,626 --> 00:17:28,394
Fuck you. Fuck you!
435
00:17:28,429 --> 00:17:30,847
Hey, Ted, let's go.
436
00:17:32,516 --> 00:17:34,734
What were you thinking?
437
00:17:34,768 --> 00:17:36,819
I was trying to prevent
you from getting raped
438
00:17:36,854 --> 00:17:38,938
atop a pinball machine, you ingrate.
439
00:17:38,972 --> 00:17:41,524
They're my regulars. They're
usually sweethearts.
440
00:17:41,575 --> 00:17:43,476
Now you tell me.
441
00:17:43,494 --> 00:17:45,078
Are you okay?
442
00:17:45,112 --> 00:17:47,780
No. I just got my ass kicked
by A.J. crew catalog.
443
00:17:47,814 --> 00:17:48,998
I'm not okay.
444
00:17:49,033 --> 00:17:50,083
What hurts?
445
00:17:50,117 --> 00:17:51,668
My ass.
446
00:17:51,702 --> 00:17:54,420
Yep, this is where the magic happens.
447
00:17:54,455 --> 00:17:57,006
Oops, sorry. Used to happen.
448
00:17:57,041 --> 00:17:59,092
Yeah, we're splitting the sheets.
449
00:17:59,126 --> 00:18:00,877
D-I-V-O-R-S-E.
450
00:18:00,928 --> 00:18:03,096
Nothing to be ashamed of.
Things just didn't work out.
451
00:18:03,130 --> 00:18:04,797
You know, could happen to anyone.
452
00:18:04,831 --> 00:18:06,266
Even you guys.
453
00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:10,053
Hey, dickless wonder, shut up.
454
00:18:10,104 --> 00:18:12,889
Get it together, you two.
455
00:18:12,940 --> 00:18:16,309
Wow, that's disgusting.
456
00:18:16,343 --> 00:18:19,028
Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
457
00:18:20,397 --> 00:18:21,698
Well, that time of the month.
458
00:18:21,732 --> 00:18:24,233
You know how it is, right, sisters?
459
00:18:24,285 --> 00:18:26,035
Aye-yi-yi-yi-yi.
460
00:18:26,070 --> 00:18:28,705
Don't worry, we'll make it all nice.
461
00:18:28,739 --> 00:18:29,706
Well, I think we've seen everything
462
00:18:29,740 --> 00:18:30,707
we needed to see.
463
00:18:30,741 --> 00:18:32,158
Thank you. Good night.
464
00:18:32,192 --> 00:18:35,628
Really, Marcy, a fucking tampon in the toilet,
465
00:18:35,663 --> 00:18:37,196
- in this market?
- It's all under control.
466
00:18:37,214 --> 00:18:38,998
You should be ashamed of yourself.
467
00:18:39,032 --> 00:18:42,001
It's going down.
468
00:18:50,511 --> 00:18:51,644
Come on.
469
00:18:51,679 --> 00:18:53,379
- Huh?
- You're coming in.
470
00:18:53,397 --> 00:18:56,265
I want to take a look at you.
471
00:18:56,317 --> 00:18:57,483
What about your friend Balt?
472
00:18:57,518 --> 00:18:59,885
He's sleeping at his boyfriend's.
473
00:18:59,903 --> 00:19:01,387
Oh, he's got a boyfriend?
474
00:19:01,405 --> 00:19:04,941
- Mm-Hmm.
- Good for that dude.
475
00:19:06,026 --> 00:19:08,060
Ow. Ooh, ooh.
476
00:19:08,078 --> 00:19:10,079
Pussy.
477
00:19:10,114 --> 00:19:12,365
What, no points for attempting
to defend your honor,
478
00:19:12,399 --> 00:19:17,754
no matter how ill-conceived
or amateurish the execution?
479
00:19:17,788 --> 00:19:18,755
Mmm... oh.
480
00:19:18,789 --> 00:19:21,007
Is that what you were looking for?
481
00:19:21,041 --> 00:19:22,759
Not exactly, but that'll do.
482
00:19:22,793 --> 00:19:26,212
Hmm.
483
00:19:26,246 --> 00:19:28,765
No. No mas. I'm dizzy enough as it is.
484
00:19:28,799 --> 00:19:30,683
and this is not a good idea.
485
00:19:30,718 --> 00:19:32,268
What does that even mean?
486
00:19:32,302 --> 00:19:34,053
You're my student.
487
00:19:34,087 --> 00:19:36,922
Not anymore I'm not.
488
00:19:36,940 --> 00:19:39,859
Well, you're a student,
and I am a teacher,
489
00:19:39,893 --> 00:19:44,397
and as such this is frowned upon somewhat.
490
00:19:44,431 --> 00:19:47,650
Wow, give me a break.
491
00:19:47,701 --> 00:19:50,787
You once spent an entire class ranting about
492
00:19:50,821 --> 00:19:52,938
how much you hate Coldplay.
493
00:19:52,956 --> 00:19:54,791
Something tells me that
you could care less
494
00:19:54,825 --> 00:19:56,776
about what's frowned upon.
495
00:19:56,794 --> 00:19:58,494
That's still one of my favorite lectures.
496
00:19:58,545 --> 00:20:00,246
Mm.
497
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:03,833
Shit, you're really weakening my resolve.
498
00:20:03,884 --> 00:20:06,335
Look, I'm 23.
499
00:20:06,387 --> 00:20:10,056
If I'm attracted to you...
500
00:20:10,090 --> 00:20:13,009
if I want to fuck you...
501
00:20:13,060 --> 00:20:18,681
- That's really not helping.
- then what's the big deal?
502
00:20:22,352 --> 00:20:25,354
You have really nice boobs.
503
00:20:25,406 --> 00:20:27,106
Can I touch one?
504
00:20:30,310 --> 00:20:34,414
Go ahead.
505
00:20:41,371 --> 00:20:43,956
This is so not fair.
506
00:20:48,796 --> 00:20:50,346
Fuck.
507
00:20:50,380 --> 00:20:52,682
It's like a slasher film in there.
508
00:20:52,716 --> 00:20:56,135
I think I got it all.
509
00:20:56,169 --> 00:20:58,304
Are you okay?
510
00:20:58,338 --> 00:21:02,525
Just leave me the fuck alone, Runkle, Jesus!
511
00:21:02,559 --> 00:21:04,510
Why are you crying?
512
00:21:04,528 --> 00:21:06,529
Why wouldn't I be crying?
513
00:21:06,563 --> 00:21:08,397
I just want to be done with it already.
514
00:21:08,449 --> 00:21:09,866
I want to sell this fucking house
515
00:21:09,900 --> 00:21:11,484
and get on with the rest of my life.
516
00:21:11,518 --> 00:21:13,619
Maybe you should have
thought about that
517
00:21:13,654 --> 00:21:17,039
before you left all that
menstrual blood in the toilet.
518
00:21:17,074 --> 00:21:19,459
Would you cut me some slack?
519
00:21:19,493 --> 00:21:22,245
How many big, stinking dumps
have you left
520
00:21:22,296 --> 00:21:25,998
in that very same toilet?
521
00:21:26,032 --> 00:21:29,385
Uh... I'm sorry I've made
you so unhappy, Marcy.
522
00:21:32,005 --> 00:21:34,557
Doesn't matter anymore.
523
00:21:34,591 --> 00:21:36,375
We just weren't meant to be.
524
00:21:36,393 --> 00:21:37,393
See, that's the thing.
525
00:21:37,427 --> 00:21:38,878
I think we were.
526
00:21:38,896 --> 00:21:41,380
I think we were supposed to
live happily ever after.
527
00:21:41,398 --> 00:21:43,266
I just... I took a wrong turn somewhere.
528
00:21:43,317 --> 00:21:46,769
Or, okay, several wrong turns.
529
00:21:46,820 --> 00:21:50,055
I fucked it up.
530
00:21:50,073 --> 00:21:51,607
I'm a big boy, Marcy.
531
00:21:51,658 --> 00:21:54,110
I will do whatever it takes
to make you happy again.
532
00:21:54,161 --> 00:21:55,661
And if that means letting you go,
533
00:21:55,696 --> 00:21:57,363
that's what I will do.
534
00:21:57,397 --> 00:21:59,749
Just you watch.
535
00:22:10,711 --> 00:22:11,711
Ow!
536
00:22:11,745 --> 00:22:13,763
What the fuck is wrong with you?
537
00:22:13,797 --> 00:22:16,182
What happened to letting me go?
538
00:22:16,216 --> 00:22:19,302
I don't know. It's hard.
539
00:22:23,423 --> 00:22:25,691
It sure is.
540
00:22:25,726 --> 00:22:28,311
Do that again.
541
00:23:27,838 --> 00:23:29,789
Hey, what's up, baby blanket?
542
00:23:29,823 --> 00:23:34,660
- I can't seem to drag my ass
out of bed this morning.
543
00:23:34,678 --> 00:23:36,262
I don't know. How 'bout you?
544
00:23:36,296 --> 00:23:38,297
Can't sleep?
545
00:23:38,331 --> 00:23:40,766
No. That bed's awfully big without you
546
00:23:40,801 --> 00:23:42,802
and your smoking-Hot ass.
547
00:23:42,836 --> 00:23:46,022
That's funny, 'cause
you never seem to have
548
00:23:46,056 --> 00:23:48,975
much of a problem getting
someone to share a bed with you.
549
00:23:49,009 --> 00:23:53,279
Yeah, well, they ain't you, lady.
550
00:23:53,313 --> 00:23:55,648
So what can I do for you?
551
00:23:55,682 --> 00:23:58,651
That's easy. You just tell me that despite
552
00:23:58,685 --> 00:24:01,621
all the seemingly shitty things
I do, I'm still a good person.
553
00:24:01,655 --> 00:24:05,574
Oh, my, you are having
a dark night of the soul.
554
00:24:05,626 --> 00:24:09,795
I'm just not liking myself very much lately,
555
00:24:09,830 --> 00:24:11,831
and we're fresh out of booze.
556
00:24:11,865 --> 00:24:15,668
Otherwise I'd be sleeping
like a drunk marmoset right now.
557
00:24:15,702 --> 00:24:18,004
So what, you want me
to hear your confession
558
00:24:18,038 --> 00:24:21,373
and absolve you of all your sins?
559
00:24:21,391 --> 00:24:22,591
That's kind of hard to do
when I don't know
560
00:24:22,643 --> 00:24:24,677
what you're up to out there.
561
00:24:24,711 --> 00:24:26,929
You want me to give you the gory deets?
562
00:24:26,980 --> 00:24:28,264
God, no.
563
00:24:28,315 --> 00:24:31,400
I mean, that's the beauty
of being so far away.
564
00:24:31,435 --> 00:24:34,654
I don't need to listen
to the gory deets anymore.
565
00:24:34,688 --> 00:24:38,491
- But thank you.
- Mm...
566
00:24:38,525 --> 00:24:40,276
You make me feel better.
567
00:24:40,327 --> 00:24:43,996
It's what I do.
568
00:24:44,031 --> 00:24:47,750
Listen, much as I would love
to soul search with you,
569
00:24:47,784 --> 00:24:49,585
I need to go.
570
00:24:49,619 --> 00:24:55,791
I get it. It's time to make
the doughnuts, right?
571
00:24:55,842 --> 00:24:57,126
You still love me?
572
00:24:57,177 --> 00:24:59,879
Always.
573
00:24:59,913 --> 00:25:01,514
That's the problem.
574
00:25:01,548 --> 00:25:04,083
Gospel.
575
00:25:04,101 --> 00:25:05,434
Have a good day.
576
00:25:05,469 --> 00:25:06,969
Get some sleep, sinner.
577
00:25:07,020 --> 00:25:10,089
And give that little rapscallion
a kiss for me, okay?
578
00:25:10,107 --> 00:25:13,693
Will do, bugaboo.
579
00:25:21,651 --> 00:25:24,870
Top of the morning to you, Miss Robinson.
580
00:25:24,905 --> 00:25:27,123
And you too, Mr. Moody.
581
00:25:27,157 --> 00:25:29,375
And just so you know,
I've been thinking about it,
582
00:25:29,409 --> 00:25:32,078
and I don't think we can be friends anymore.
583
00:25:32,112 --> 00:25:35,081
- Oh, really? That's too bad.
- Not necessarily.
584
00:25:35,115 --> 00:25:38,334
I'm not wearing any underwear.
585
00:25:43,090 --> 00:25:45,674
Professor, would you mind terribly
586
00:25:45,726 --> 00:25:47,259
if I audit your class this morning?
587
00:25:47,293 --> 00:25:49,311
I was thinking you could probably
588
00:25:49,346 --> 00:25:52,598
teach me a thing or two about life, love,
589
00:25:52,632 --> 00:25:54,734
the pursuit of happiness.
590
00:25:54,768 --> 00:25:57,987
I'm sorry I'm late, teach.
591
00:25:58,021 --> 00:25:59,438
Hot date.
592
00:25:59,472 --> 00:26:01,774
You know, up all night thinking about it.
593
00:26:01,808 --> 00:26:05,995
Just keep on replaying it
over and over and over
594
00:26:06,029 --> 00:26:07,747
in my mind.
595
00:26:11,507 --> 00:26:16,802
Sync by honeybunny - corrected by chamallow35
www.Addic7ed.Com