1 00:00:00,041 --> 00:00:01,958 - previously on californication... 2 00:00:01,992 --> 00:00:02,992 - did u two come together? 3 00:00:03,043 --> 00:00:04,827 - no! we just came in together. 4 00:00:07,781 --> 00:00:10,016 - i've never stepped outside of my marriage before. 5 00:00:10,050 --> 00:00:12,919 - but i'm guessing that you feel like you're... 6 00:00:12,953 --> 00:00:15,388 Owed one. 7 00:00:16,507 --> 00:00:17,974 - come on. you're coming in. 8 00:00:18,008 --> 00:00:19,392 I want to take a look at you. 9 00:00:21,628 --> 00:00:23,462 - this is so not fair. 10 00:00:25,899 --> 00:00:28,318 - daisy... came to see me. 11 00:00:28,352 --> 00:00:30,236 - what'd she say, that little tramp? 12 00:00:30,270 --> 00:00:33,189 - she said that she had contracted a few stds. 13 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:35,775 - no, i seriously think i'm gonna throw up right now. 14 00:00:35,809 --> 00:00:37,443 - what could possibly be so awful 15 00:00:37,477 --> 00:00:38,661 About visiting the woman 16 00:00:38,696 --> 00:00:40,913 Who pushed you through her magnificent vagina? 17 00:00:40,948 --> 00:00:42,832 - chelsea has lakers tickets. 18 00:00:42,866 --> 00:00:44,334 - i'm so excited. 19 00:00:44,368 --> 00:00:46,586 I can't wait to squeeze that little peanut. 20 00:00:46,620 --> 00:00:47,787 - i wouldn't get too excited. 21 00:00:47,821 --> 00:00:49,372 She hasn't been very pleasant lately. 22 00:00:49,423 --> 00:00:51,591 Hey! look who's here. 23 00:00:51,625 --> 00:00:53,459 Not even a hello. oh, good times. 24 00:00:53,493 --> 00:00:56,546 - what? were you just gonna leave me behind? 25 00:01:08,175 --> 00:01:09,475 [cell phone buzzing] 26 00:01:09,509 --> 00:01:11,343 - my god. 27 00:01:11,362 --> 00:01:13,029 - chelsea. i need to take this. 28 00:01:13,063 --> 00:01:14,197 - what--what do you mean? 29 00:01:14,231 --> 00:01:15,848 What, are you with the organ transplant team? 30 00:01:15,866 --> 00:01:16,949 Shut that shit down. 31 00:01:16,984 --> 00:01:18,534 Tell your old man about your weekend. 32 00:01:18,569 --> 00:01:20,453 Start by telling me how much you missed me. 33 00:01:20,487 --> 00:01:23,039 - oh, we had a grand old time. 34 00:01:23,073 --> 00:01:24,957 - soaked up some culture, did you? 35 00:01:24,992 --> 00:01:27,210 Museums, shopping, girl talk? some dirty-water hot dogs maybe? 36 00:01:27,244 --> 00:01:28,211 What? 37 00:01:28,245 --> 00:01:29,712 Whoa. what? where you going? 38 00:01:29,747 --> 00:01:31,714 - i'm still allowed to pee, aren't i? 39 00:01:31,749 --> 00:01:32,749 [cell phone plays tune] 40 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:34,333 [thud] 41 00:01:37,537 --> 00:01:38,888 - remember this? 42 00:01:38,922 --> 00:01:40,890 Remember when you thought... - yes. 43 00:01:40,924 --> 00:01:42,508 - that was a good idea? it's awful. 44 00:01:42,542 --> 00:01:44,811 I don't recognize her anymore. 45 00:01:44,845 --> 00:01:47,096 - i told you. she's changed, right? 46 00:01:47,147 --> 00:01:49,015 She's a miserable little bitch all the time now. 47 00:01:49,049 --> 00:01:51,350 - i guess at least we know why, right? 48 00:01:51,384 --> 00:01:53,603 - we do? - chelsea. 49 00:01:53,654 --> 00:01:55,154 It's all she cares about anymore. 50 00:01:55,189 --> 00:01:57,440 Chelsea, chelsea, chelsea. 51 00:01:57,491 --> 00:01:59,525 - well, i-it's better than her caring about a boy, right? 52 00:01:59,559 --> 00:02:02,195 'cause you can't get pregnant from your bff. 53 00:02:02,229 --> 00:02:04,831 At least not without the aid of a turkey baster. 54 00:02:04,865 --> 00:02:06,783 - oh, hank, this isn't working anymore. 55 00:02:06,834 --> 00:02:08,034 - what isn't working? don't say that. 56 00:02:08,068 --> 00:02:09,252 - this whole arrangement. 57 00:02:09,286 --> 00:02:12,205 She needs to be living with me right now, okay? 58 00:02:12,239 --> 00:02:14,424 I know-- i know she hates me. 59 00:02:14,458 --> 00:02:16,426 And i know she wants to live here with you. 60 00:02:16,460 --> 00:02:18,761 But fuck it. we're the parents, right? 61 00:02:18,796 --> 00:02:20,379 We get to decide. 62 00:02:20,413 --> 00:02:22,465 - we? - yes, we. 63 00:02:22,516 --> 00:02:24,750 - so what, you're saying we just pack up and leave l.a.? 64 00:02:24,768 --> 00:02:26,352 The three of us, move back to new york together? 65 00:02:26,386 --> 00:02:28,054 - well, soon, yeah. 66 00:02:28,088 --> 00:02:30,389 End of the semester, whatever. 67 00:02:30,423 --> 00:02:32,442 [whispering] this place is toxic. 68 00:02:32,476 --> 00:02:34,360 Okay? 69 00:02:34,394 --> 00:02:37,113 L.a. is no place to raise a daughter. 70 00:02:37,147 --> 00:02:38,698 - that's my line. - i know. 71 00:02:38,732 --> 00:02:39,899 - you're stealing my shit. 72 00:02:39,933 --> 00:02:42,401 All right. to our beautiful family... 73 00:02:42,435 --> 00:02:44,370 - i--yes. 74 00:02:44,404 --> 00:02:47,373 - our black president, and my magnificent dong. 75 00:02:47,407 --> 00:02:50,376 [upbeat music] 76 00:02:50,410 --> 00:02:55,284 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 77 00:03:31,818 --> 00:03:33,119 - what the fuck? 78 00:03:33,153 --> 00:03:35,505 I'm not even a part of this fucking family anymore? 79 00:03:35,539 --> 00:03:36,672 - jesus christ. karen! 80 00:03:36,707 --> 00:03:38,541 - she gets to decide? how is that fair? 81 00:03:38,592 --> 00:03:40,259 - i don't think we were shooting for fair, honey. karen! 82 00:03:40,294 --> 00:03:42,211 - for the first time in my life, i'm actually happy, 83 00:03:42,262 --> 00:03:43,596 And now you want me to pack up 84 00:03:43,630 --> 00:03:45,097 And move someplace i have no friends? 85 00:03:45,132 --> 00:03:46,549 New york doesn't mean shit to me. 86 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:47,800 It isn't the answer to anything! 87 00:03:47,834 --> 00:03:49,001 - telling her together-- 88 00:03:49,019 --> 00:03:50,770 I guess that didn't work out so well, did it? 89 00:03:50,804 --> 00:03:52,271 - oh, well, you know what? it kind of came up 90 00:03:52,306 --> 00:03:55,141 While the narcissist in the family was deep-conditioning. 91 00:03:55,175 --> 00:03:57,443 - i can't believe you didn't fight for me. 92 00:03:57,477 --> 00:03:59,362 - there's nothing to fight about, honey. 93 00:03:59,396 --> 00:04:00,613 This was always the plan. 94 00:04:00,647 --> 00:04:02,865 - honey, you're gonna be late to school, okay? 95 00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:04,951 We will talk about it later. 96 00:04:04,985 --> 00:04:07,119 I love you. 97 00:04:08,688 --> 00:04:11,657 So, well, the worst is over. 98 00:04:11,691 --> 00:04:12,792 - oh, yeah? 99 00:04:12,826 --> 00:04:14,243 You think the french revolution was over 100 00:04:14,294 --> 00:04:15,795 When they stormed the bastille? 101 00:04:15,829 --> 00:04:17,747 No, no, no. they had a little thing called the terror. 102 00:04:17,798 --> 00:04:18,748 It happened years later. 103 00:04:18,799 --> 00:04:20,466 - she will get used to the idea. 104 00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:21,968 Who doesn't want to live in new york? 105 00:04:22,002 --> 00:04:24,554 - mm. - anyway, professor... 106 00:04:24,588 --> 00:04:26,672 You need to get dressed. you're gonna be late. 107 00:04:26,706 --> 00:04:28,925 - not that late. it's a very progressive school. 108 00:04:28,976 --> 00:04:30,426 The students practically teach themselves. 109 00:04:30,477 --> 00:04:31,677 - uh-uh, no, stop. - why? 110 00:04:31,711 --> 00:04:32,678 - stop! - why? 111 00:04:32,712 --> 00:04:34,046 - because. 112 00:04:34,064 --> 00:04:36,015 Well, for a start, i don't know where you've been. 113 00:04:36,049 --> 00:04:38,217 - well, i'm freshly showered, right? 114 00:04:38,235 --> 00:04:39,602 That should count for something. 115 00:04:39,653 --> 00:04:41,270 Besides, i don't know where you've been either. 116 00:04:41,321 --> 00:04:43,272 - oh, you do. - oh, i do? 117 00:04:43,323 --> 00:04:45,074 - yeah. - what is that, like a riddle? 118 00:04:45,108 --> 00:04:46,692 You getting all sphinx-like on me? 119 00:04:46,726 --> 00:04:50,112 - i slept with bill. - ha ha-ha ha-ha. 120 00:04:50,163 --> 00:04:53,366 - i slept with bill. 121 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:56,502 I ran into him at nyu when he was visiting mia. 122 00:04:56,536 --> 00:04:57,703 - ew! ugh! 123 00:04:57,737 --> 00:04:59,622 - she says hi, by the way. 124 00:04:59,673 --> 00:05:00,706 Um, are you okay? 125 00:05:00,740 --> 00:05:02,959 You look a little sick in your stomach. 126 00:05:03,010 --> 00:05:04,710 - [belches] oh... 127 00:05:04,744 --> 00:05:07,346 Shit, you're totally not joking about this, are you? 128 00:05:07,381 --> 00:05:09,465 - oh... 129 00:05:09,516 --> 00:05:11,750 Hank. 130 00:05:11,768 --> 00:05:14,303 Oh, come on, honey. it's not that big a deal. 131 00:05:14,354 --> 00:05:17,523 I mean, i kind of felt like i owed him one. 132 00:05:17,557 --> 00:05:19,942 I did, you know, ruin his life and all. 133 00:05:19,977 --> 00:05:22,061 I mean, that night that i married him, 134 00:05:22,095 --> 00:05:24,697 And then i jumped in the car with you. 135 00:05:24,731 --> 00:05:27,950 [sighs] god, it feels good to tell the truth. 136 00:05:31,238 --> 00:05:33,489 Come on, professor. 137 00:05:33,540 --> 00:05:35,458 Come out of there. get dressed. 138 00:05:35,492 --> 00:05:38,160 I'm so excited to go to class with you! 139 00:05:42,549 --> 00:05:44,750 - "eva lifts her head from her book 140 00:05:44,784 --> 00:05:47,136 "and regards the curious figure striding her way. 141 00:05:47,170 --> 00:05:49,505 "the faint hint of a smile appears on her face. 142 00:05:49,556 --> 00:05:51,140 "adam slows down, reaching her table. 143 00:05:51,174 --> 00:05:53,392 "their eyes meet, and it looks like adam is going to do it. 144 00:05:53,427 --> 00:05:54,760 "but what do you know, folks? 145 00:05:54,794 --> 00:05:57,563 "he averts his eyes and keeps right on walking, 146 00:05:57,597 --> 00:05:59,565 Jamming his hands in his pockets." 147 00:05:59,599 --> 00:06:03,686 Okay, so what can we learn from this early execrable work 148 00:06:03,737 --> 00:06:06,522 From a major-- and i do mean major-- 149 00:06:06,573 --> 00:06:07,523 American author? 150 00:06:07,574 --> 00:06:09,275 And don't be shy. 151 00:06:09,309 --> 00:06:11,277 Rip him a new asshole or three or four. 152 00:06:11,311 --> 00:06:14,246 Go. dig in. 153 00:06:15,482 --> 00:06:16,648 - sir? 154 00:06:20,287 --> 00:06:22,254 Sir? 155 00:06:22,289 --> 00:06:24,540 - [laughs] yes. 156 00:06:24,591 --> 00:06:27,093 - i think "execrable" is a little harsh. 157 00:06:27,127 --> 00:06:29,295 I mean, i didn't think it was so bad. 158 00:06:29,329 --> 00:06:31,714 - and i think those that are auditing this class 159 00:06:31,765 --> 00:06:32,882 Really shouldn't participate. 160 00:06:32,933 --> 00:06:34,133 Others? 161 00:06:34,167 --> 00:06:35,801 - uh, i think you should let the woman speak. 162 00:06:35,835 --> 00:06:37,970 Sorry, what did you say your name was again? 163 00:06:38,004 --> 00:06:40,806 - she didn't. next. 164 00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:41,891 - well... 165 00:06:41,942 --> 00:06:43,509 "their eyes meet"? 166 00:06:43,527 --> 00:06:45,111 That's a little hokey, don't you think? 167 00:06:45,145 --> 00:06:46,862 And, uh... 168 00:06:46,897 --> 00:06:50,032 Eva's whole introduction, really, is just... 169 00:06:50,067 --> 00:06:51,567 Stupid, you know? 170 00:06:51,618 --> 00:06:52,902 We know she's pretty. 171 00:06:52,953 --> 00:06:53,953 We get it. - and we're out of time. 172 00:06:53,987 --> 00:06:56,155 Look at that. class has now ended. 173 00:06:56,189 --> 00:06:59,458 Go in peace and love to serve the word. 174 00:07:06,083 --> 00:07:07,550 - well... 175 00:07:07,584 --> 00:07:10,970 Um, here's the papers on last week's poetry 176 00:07:11,004 --> 00:07:13,389 Of jagger and richards. 177 00:07:13,423 --> 00:07:14,640 - thank you. 178 00:07:14,674 --> 00:07:17,426 - [softly] jill. [laughs] 179 00:07:17,477 --> 00:07:19,395 - thanks. 180 00:07:22,516 --> 00:07:25,184 - well, then, i'll see you next week. 181 00:07:25,218 --> 00:07:27,019 - thanks, jill. 182 00:07:30,056 --> 00:07:32,742 - you are unbelievable. 183 00:07:32,776 --> 00:07:33,943 - what? 184 00:07:33,994 --> 00:07:35,911 - so, adam... 185 00:07:35,946 --> 00:07:37,613 Which one are you sleeping with? 186 00:07:37,664 --> 00:07:38,897 - excuse me? 187 00:07:38,915 --> 00:07:42,535 - my bets are on the young, voluptuous student. 188 00:07:42,569 --> 00:07:44,336 She's a definite... 189 00:07:44,371 --> 00:07:46,288 Eva prototype. 190 00:07:46,339 --> 00:07:47,840 - please. there's only one eva. 191 00:07:47,874 --> 00:07:50,259 Besides, it's against the rules to sleep with students. 192 00:07:50,293 --> 00:07:53,262 - oh, of course. yes. 193 00:07:53,296 --> 00:07:54,880 Though when i was in college... 194 00:07:54,914 --> 00:07:56,132 - oh, jesus. - i slept with-- 195 00:07:56,183 --> 00:07:57,433 - "slept with my professor." i know! 196 00:07:57,467 --> 00:07:58,801 I've heard quite enough 197 00:07:58,852 --> 00:08:00,853 About your sexual goings-on for one day. 198 00:08:00,887 --> 00:08:03,439 - i can't believe you kept this ridiculous story. 199 00:08:03,473 --> 00:08:05,691 I mean, you wrote this when you were, like, 23? 200 00:08:05,725 --> 00:08:08,360 - i save everything i write-- all parts of the buffalo. 201 00:08:08,395 --> 00:08:09,361 - hmm. 202 00:08:09,396 --> 00:08:11,313 - especially the stuff about you. 203 00:08:11,364 --> 00:08:14,733 Yeah, one-act plays, haikus, 204 00:08:14,767 --> 00:08:17,069 Grocery lists. - [laughing] 205 00:08:17,103 --> 00:08:19,288 - hank. oh, hank. 206 00:08:19,322 --> 00:08:20,739 I'm sorry, i was just wondering 207 00:08:20,773 --> 00:08:22,041 If you were picking up... 208 00:08:22,075 --> 00:08:24,493 - felicia. - the girls from school today. 209 00:08:24,544 --> 00:08:26,829 - k-karen. karen. - hey. 210 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:28,247 - felicia. 211 00:08:28,281 --> 00:08:30,716 - karen. not--not the karen? 212 00:08:30,750 --> 00:08:32,585 - the mamacita of my bambina. 213 00:08:32,619 --> 00:08:35,120 si. - hey. i'm becca's mom. 214 00:08:35,138 --> 00:08:36,755 It's nice to meet you. 215 00:08:36,789 --> 00:08:38,257 - i'm chelsea's mum. - oh, yeah. 216 00:08:38,291 --> 00:08:40,476 - lovely to meet you finally. 217 00:08:40,510 --> 00:08:42,978 Becca must be delighted to have you back. 218 00:08:43,013 --> 00:08:44,480 - well, she's not back back. - well, no. 219 00:08:44,514 --> 00:08:46,015 It's just a quick visit. 220 00:08:46,066 --> 00:08:48,184 You know, my work keeps me in new york, so... 221 00:08:48,235 --> 00:08:49,652 - i know. it's so awful, isn't it? 222 00:08:49,686 --> 00:08:51,987 The whole working-mum thing. 223 00:08:52,022 --> 00:08:54,857 I'm so lucky with my teaching schedule. 224 00:08:54,908 --> 00:08:57,743 Actually, i'm not working this afternoon, 225 00:08:57,777 --> 00:08:59,111 So i could pick them up if you'd like. 226 00:08:59,145 --> 00:09:01,413 - oh, no, you know what? that's okay. 227 00:09:01,448 --> 00:09:03,332 I kind of--i kind of like it. i miss it, actually. 228 00:09:03,366 --> 00:09:06,836 - oh, yeah, well, who-- who doesn't love a carpool line? 229 00:09:06,870 --> 00:09:09,288 - well, then, problem solved, i guess. 230 00:09:09,322 --> 00:09:12,341 So, lovely to meet you. - yeah. 231 00:09:12,375 --> 00:09:14,093 And you. yes. yeah, bye. 232 00:09:16,346 --> 00:09:19,548 Oh, my god, can you believe that woman? 233 00:09:19,599 --> 00:09:21,684 - yeah, she's--she's real classy-like, right? 234 00:09:21,718 --> 00:09:23,602 - [gags] - what? 235 00:09:23,637 --> 00:09:25,221 - no, and that ridiculous accent. 236 00:09:25,272 --> 00:09:26,722 I mean, what the fuck? 237 00:09:26,773 --> 00:09:28,107 - it's pleasant. - she was like, you know, 238 00:09:28,141 --> 00:09:29,675 [british accent] "so lovely to meet you. 239 00:09:29,693 --> 00:09:31,026 My--my schedule." 240 00:09:31,061 --> 00:09:32,695 - but that--it's-- she taught to speak like that. 241 00:09:32,729 --> 00:09:35,364 She's not making it-- i think you're jealous. 242 00:09:35,398 --> 00:09:36,815 Are you being jealous? 243 00:09:36,849 --> 00:09:38,617 - no. 244 00:09:38,652 --> 00:09:39,985 - if i didn't know any better, i'd say you were. 245 00:09:40,019 --> 00:09:43,405 - i mean, no, she is definitely not your type. 246 00:09:46,326 --> 00:09:47,993 - no. 247 00:09:49,913 --> 00:09:51,213 - there you are, 248 00:09:51,248 --> 00:09:53,999 You v.d.-riddled sack of shit. 249 00:09:54,033 --> 00:09:57,136 Ten days' worth of antibiotics i have to take, 250 00:09:57,170 --> 00:09:59,054 Just in case, mind you. 251 00:09:59,089 --> 00:10:00,506 - i'm taking them too, you know, 252 00:10:00,540 --> 00:10:01,974 And i'm getting tested tomorrow. 253 00:10:02,008 --> 00:10:05,311 - yes, dear, but the delicate balance of yeast in your vagina 254 00:10:05,345 --> 00:10:07,479 Isn't as likely to be compromised 255 00:10:07,514 --> 00:10:09,348 By all this shit, now, is it? 256 00:10:09,382 --> 00:10:10,599 - just, you know, eat more yogurt. 257 00:10:10,650 --> 00:10:13,519 Hey, i'll make you a smoothy. 258 00:10:13,553 --> 00:10:16,655 - do i look like i want a fucking smoothy? 259 00:10:16,690 --> 00:10:19,275 Whose corvette is that blocking the driveway? 260 00:10:19,326 --> 00:10:20,576 - rick springfield. 261 00:10:20,610 --> 00:10:22,611 And a smoothy can be very refreshing on a hot day. 262 00:10:22,662 --> 00:10:24,496 - oh, now you got to be fucking with me. 263 00:10:24,531 --> 00:10:25,897 - what fucking with you? 264 00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:29,168 - i said, whose car is that blocking the driveway? 265 00:10:29,202 --> 00:10:30,586 - and i said rick springfield. 266 00:10:30,620 --> 00:10:31,954 He's got a big audition tomorrow, 267 00:10:32,005 --> 00:10:33,238 And we're running lines here. 268 00:10:33,256 --> 00:10:34,340 - shut the fuck up. 269 00:10:34,374 --> 00:10:36,241 Rick springfield is running lines with you 270 00:10:36,259 --> 00:10:37,743 In my house right now? 271 00:10:37,761 --> 00:10:39,595 - yes, he's a new client. i've told you this before. 272 00:10:39,629 --> 00:10:40,930 Now, listen to me. 273 00:10:40,964 --> 00:10:43,015 I'm gonna be late coming back from his audition, 274 00:10:43,049 --> 00:10:45,250 So i got everything prepped for our dinner with hank and karen. 275 00:10:45,268 --> 00:10:47,303 It's gonna be gumbo. 276 00:10:47,354 --> 00:10:49,271 Everything's going in the pressure cooker. 277 00:10:49,306 --> 00:10:52,758 All you have to do is remember to start the rice, please. 278 00:10:52,776 --> 00:10:56,779 - rick fucking springfield is here in my house 279 00:10:56,813 --> 00:10:58,597 Right fucking now? 280 00:10:58,615 --> 00:11:00,449 - [laughs] yes! 281 00:11:00,483 --> 00:11:03,736 He's upstairs having a nap, sort of. 282 00:11:03,770 --> 00:11:05,154 - hey, runkle. - or wait. 283 00:11:05,205 --> 00:11:08,207 I spoke too soon. here's rick now. 284 00:11:08,241 --> 00:11:09,875 - dude, don't you have anything raunchier 285 00:11:09,909 --> 00:11:12,828 than back issues of gent magazine? 286 00:11:12,879 --> 00:11:14,964 Well... 287 00:11:14,998 --> 00:11:16,465 Hello. 288 00:11:16,499 --> 00:11:18,450 - oh, my god. 289 00:11:18,468 --> 00:11:19,618 You're really-- 290 00:11:19,636 --> 00:11:22,504 Rick springfield in my house right now. 291 00:11:22,555 --> 00:11:23,806 Um... [clears throat] 292 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:26,308 You're-- you're very tall and-- 293 00:11:26,343 --> 00:11:30,179 And dark and handsome and, uh... 294 00:11:30,230 --> 00:11:32,231 No. charlie doesn't have anything raunchier than that, 295 00:11:32,265 --> 00:11:33,732 Because he likes to, you know, 296 00:11:33,767 --> 00:11:35,567 Kick it old school with the pornography. 297 00:11:35,602 --> 00:11:37,903 Know what i'm saying? - church. 298 00:11:37,937 --> 00:11:39,688 Hey, are these my beta-blockers? 299 00:11:39,739 --> 00:11:42,858 I get real nervous before-- - oh, no, that's just a... 300 00:11:42,909 --> 00:11:44,309 Lip gloss. - oh. 301 00:11:44,327 --> 00:11:47,196 Back in the old days, sue used to blow me. 302 00:11:47,247 --> 00:11:50,249 But these days, she likes them younger... 303 00:11:50,283 --> 00:11:52,001 And balder. 304 00:11:52,035 --> 00:11:54,703 Hey...would you... - okay. okay! 305 00:11:54,754 --> 00:11:56,088 Don't you need to be running along somewhere, 306 00:11:56,122 --> 00:11:57,206 Little one, hmm? 307 00:11:57,257 --> 00:11:59,591 Appointments and such? - no, i'm okay. 308 00:11:59,626 --> 00:12:01,677 I just want to stay here and talk to rick springfield. 309 00:12:01,711 --> 00:12:04,013 - not on my watch, okay? we got work to do. 310 00:12:04,047 --> 00:12:05,848 Lots of it. no time for distractions. 311 00:12:05,882 --> 00:12:07,933 - but come on! - one more word out of you, 312 00:12:07,967 --> 00:12:09,501 And i'm gonna tell him what those pills are really for. 313 00:12:09,519 --> 00:12:10,552 - shh! 314 00:12:10,603 --> 00:12:12,971 - ? i'm fixed to ruin ? 315 00:12:13,005 --> 00:12:15,607 ? you're fixed on me ? 316 00:12:15,642 --> 00:12:17,359 - when i was a kid, you spoke when you were spoken to, 317 00:12:17,394 --> 00:12:19,111 Or else you were chased around a kitchen 318 00:12:19,145 --> 00:12:20,612 With a wooden spoon. 319 00:12:20,647 --> 00:12:23,232 - sorry, we weren't put on this planet to entertain you. 320 00:12:23,283 --> 00:12:25,617 - untrue-- entertainment for the poor. 321 00:12:25,652 --> 00:12:27,202 That's what my mother always called children. 322 00:12:27,237 --> 00:12:29,238 Clearly, she was wrong. 323 00:12:29,289 --> 00:12:32,408 - hmm. well, maybe if you weren't poor... 324 00:12:32,459 --> 00:12:34,043 - excuse me? - poor? are we? 325 00:12:34,077 --> 00:12:35,411 I didn't get that memo. are we poor? 326 00:12:35,462 --> 00:12:37,746 - no offense, karen, but becca showed me a picture 327 00:12:37,797 --> 00:12:39,415 Of the apartment where you live, 328 00:12:39,466 --> 00:12:41,583 And i've been in dorm rooms that are bigger than that. 329 00:12:41,634 --> 00:12:43,502 I mean, i think that it would be best for becca 330 00:12:43,536 --> 00:12:44,720 If she could stay in l.a. 331 00:12:44,754 --> 00:12:48,340 And have at least some shot at a normal life. 332 00:12:56,649 --> 00:12:58,734 - she did say "no offense." - [whispers] okay. 333 00:12:58,768 --> 00:13:01,103 - [grunts loudly] 334 00:13:01,154 --> 00:13:02,104 Ooh! she returns! 335 00:13:02,155 --> 00:13:04,055 [grunts] 336 00:13:04,074 --> 00:13:05,223 Yes! 337 00:13:05,241 --> 00:13:07,693 Yes, in! on the fucking line! 338 00:13:07,727 --> 00:13:09,578 I'm gonna take you down, mommy. 339 00:13:09,612 --> 00:13:10,746 - oh, jesus. 340 00:13:10,780 --> 00:13:12,564 Is there any sport for which your father 341 00:13:12,582 --> 00:13:15,167 Does not have the proper attire? 342 00:13:15,201 --> 00:13:17,169 I bet he swims in a speedo. does he? 343 00:13:17,203 --> 00:13:18,236 - [grunts loudly] 344 00:13:18,254 --> 00:13:19,922 - [squeals] oh! - yes! 345 00:13:19,956 --> 00:13:23,258 Yes! yes! take that, you lazy motherfucker! 346 00:13:23,293 --> 00:13:24,409 - oh, hello. 347 00:13:24,427 --> 00:13:26,011 - felicia. - all right-- 348 00:13:26,045 --> 00:13:28,079 - you just caught us getting some exercise. 349 00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:29,515 Hello. 350 00:13:29,549 --> 00:13:32,417 - honey, game's not over. - that was just a point? 351 00:13:32,435 --> 00:13:34,103 What do you do when you win a whole match, 352 00:13:34,137 --> 00:13:35,420 Sacrifice a calf? 353 00:13:35,438 --> 00:13:36,805 - [laughs] he doesn't... - cheers. 354 00:13:36,856 --> 00:13:39,775 - actually mean it, all that trash talking and such. 355 00:13:39,809 --> 00:13:43,312 That's just his way. stacy, this is becca's mum. 356 00:13:43,363 --> 00:13:44,613 - karen! - hi. 357 00:13:44,647 --> 00:13:46,865 - oh, so nice to meet you. heard so much about you. 358 00:13:46,900 --> 00:13:48,367 - oh! - delighted. 359 00:13:48,401 --> 00:13:50,319 - thank you. - you should stay for dinner. 360 00:13:50,370 --> 00:13:52,037 Just you, not him. 361 00:13:52,071 --> 00:13:53,455 - okay, give me that racket. 362 00:13:53,490 --> 00:13:54,656 The dean has just requested 363 00:13:54,707 --> 00:13:57,042 A heaping helping of my backhand for dinner. 364 00:13:57,076 --> 00:13:59,611 - yes, of course, you must stay. - oh, well, you know, 365 00:13:59,629 --> 00:14:01,380 That's really kind, but we have plans. 366 00:14:01,414 --> 00:14:03,665 We're meeting some friends, so... 367 00:14:03,716 --> 00:14:05,884 - their friends, not mine. 368 00:14:05,919 --> 00:14:08,670 - yes. but the point is we're going as a family. 369 00:14:08,721 --> 00:14:11,140 Tout ensemble-- so that's the point. 370 00:14:11,174 --> 00:14:13,809 - and i'd rather stay here with this family. 371 00:14:13,843 --> 00:14:15,894 - oh, isn't she sweet? 372 00:14:15,929 --> 00:14:17,896 You know you're always welcome here, becca. 373 00:14:17,931 --> 00:14:19,314 - yes. always. 374 00:14:19,349 --> 00:14:21,800 - your--your mom is visiting from new york. 375 00:14:21,818 --> 00:14:23,318 Your mom-- have you met your mom? 376 00:14:23,353 --> 00:14:24,803 She's only gonna be here for a little while. 377 00:14:24,821 --> 00:14:26,304 You want to spend time with her, no? 378 00:14:26,322 --> 00:14:27,406 - no. 379 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:28,857 Once you drag me back to new york, 380 00:14:28,908 --> 00:14:32,077 All i'm going to be doing is spending time with my mother. 381 00:14:32,111 --> 00:14:34,329 I certainly won't have any friends. 382 00:14:34,364 --> 00:14:35,914 - all right, becca, apologize to your mother. 383 00:14:35,949 --> 00:14:38,033 - it's fine. it's really fine. 384 00:14:38,084 --> 00:14:39,985 You know what? it seems like you have 385 00:14:40,003 --> 00:14:41,703 An open invitation here, so it's-- 386 00:14:41,754 --> 00:14:42,955 - of course! 387 00:14:42,989 --> 00:14:44,706 It's no problem if you want to stay for dinner. 388 00:14:44,757 --> 00:14:46,842 And that way, you two can have a lovely time with your friends. 389 00:14:46,876 --> 00:14:49,327 - yes. thank you, felicia. 390 00:14:55,969 --> 00:14:58,770 - karen couldn't make it. 391 00:14:58,805 --> 00:14:59,938 Not feeling well. 392 00:14:59,973 --> 00:15:01,440 - mm-hmm. 393 00:15:01,474 --> 00:15:02,724 Yes! 394 00:15:02,775 --> 00:15:04,393 Oh, god! 395 00:15:04,444 --> 00:15:06,278 Oh, look at you. - look at you. 396 00:15:06,312 --> 00:15:08,346 - i miss you. - is this for me? 397 00:15:08,364 --> 00:15:09,681 - what, my muumuu? 398 00:15:09,699 --> 00:15:11,033 - you look like america's next top smurf. 399 00:15:11,067 --> 00:15:13,368 - it's just the schmata i wear around the house. what? 400 00:15:13,403 --> 00:15:16,288 In with you! - where's the runkle-ator? 401 00:15:16,322 --> 00:15:17,706 - well, he's stuck in... - runkle! 402 00:15:17,740 --> 00:15:20,125 - traffic on his way over from the valley. 403 00:15:20,159 --> 00:15:21,860 That man is dead to me, by the way. 404 00:15:21,878 --> 00:15:23,078 Do you see this? 405 00:15:23,129 --> 00:15:26,197 This hideous vd-type pustule on my face? 406 00:15:26,216 --> 00:15:27,916 - ooh! - no, not really. 407 00:15:27,967 --> 00:15:29,218 - that is disgusting. - yeah. 408 00:15:29,252 --> 00:15:30,469 - shut up. - you see it, right? 409 00:15:30,503 --> 00:15:32,137 - oh, yeah, it's deep in there. - guess what? 410 00:15:32,171 --> 00:15:33,889 He gave it to me. thanks. 411 00:15:33,923 --> 00:15:36,391 And he tried to rape me, by the way. 412 00:15:36,426 --> 00:15:37,726 But how are you? 413 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:40,812 - i'm good. i-i--you know, becca, she's-- 414 00:15:40,847 --> 00:15:42,064 - hello. - i know. 415 00:15:42,098 --> 00:15:44,049 - hello. make way for the victors. 416 00:15:44,067 --> 00:15:46,268 Victory. - he got the part? 417 00:15:46,319 --> 00:15:49,488 You got the part? oh, my god! 418 00:15:49,522 --> 00:15:51,389 Congratulations... 419 00:15:51,407 --> 00:15:54,243 - is that rick springfield? - i believe it is, yeah. 420 00:15:54,277 --> 00:15:58,614 - and who are you, pretty lady? 421 00:16:03,169 --> 00:16:05,570 - rick springfield and andy gibb on solid gold-- 422 00:16:05,588 --> 00:16:07,256 This means nothing to you? 423 00:16:07,290 --> 00:16:08,340 - i remember. 424 00:16:08,374 --> 00:16:10,626 Everybody loved rick springfield, right? 425 00:16:10,677 --> 00:16:12,344 - she just didn't have the poster over her bed. 426 00:16:12,378 --> 00:16:16,014 You--i'm guessing you practiced your she-bopping to that, huh? 427 00:16:16,049 --> 00:16:17,849 - you know what always used to start my motor? 428 00:16:17,884 --> 00:16:19,017 Mannix. 429 00:16:19,052 --> 00:16:20,752 That tall armenian 430 00:16:20,770 --> 00:16:22,688 With a great head of hair--mmm. 431 00:16:22,722 --> 00:16:26,775 Just thinking of him still gets my juices flowing. 432 00:16:28,111 --> 00:16:30,279 - teen fantasies are great, okay? 433 00:16:30,313 --> 00:16:32,197 You know, i've had some of my own. 434 00:16:32,231 --> 00:16:34,149 - oh, yeah, what, you? duran duran? 435 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,768 - ha. - boy george? 436 00:16:36,786 --> 00:16:38,287 - cheryl tiegs, thank you very much. 437 00:16:38,321 --> 00:16:40,772 My point is, you have to remember-- 438 00:16:40,790 --> 00:16:42,374 Musicians, actors, models-- 439 00:16:42,408 --> 00:16:44,660 These are people with flaws and such. 440 00:16:44,711 --> 00:16:47,162 I mean, there's no way they could possibly live up 441 00:16:47,213 --> 00:16:49,280 To the excitement, the mystery 442 00:16:49,299 --> 00:16:51,616 That our tortured teen psyches choose to project upon them. 443 00:16:51,634 --> 00:16:54,119 That--that's my point. - oh, my god. 444 00:16:54,137 --> 00:16:55,554 - i made a girl come seven times once. 445 00:16:55,588 --> 00:16:57,139 - [gasps] 446 00:16:57,173 --> 00:16:58,390 - oh... 447 00:16:58,424 --> 00:17:01,343 - over the course of an entire relationship? 448 00:17:01,394 --> 00:17:02,561 - [giggling] 449 00:17:02,595 --> 00:17:04,813 - all in a row? 450 00:17:04,847 --> 00:17:06,848 Sweet jesus. 451 00:17:06,899 --> 00:17:09,351 - who's ready for dessert? i know i am. 452 00:17:09,402 --> 00:17:10,969 - cheers to you, rick springfield. 453 00:17:10,987 --> 00:17:12,154 Hold on a second. 454 00:17:20,163 --> 00:17:21,863 - what are you doing moping in the fridge? 455 00:17:21,914 --> 00:17:24,983 '80s pop legend rick springfield is in there stealing your girl, 456 00:17:25,001 --> 00:17:26,585 not jessie's girl, your girl, 457 00:17:26,619 --> 00:17:28,820 Runkle's girl. - i'm well aware of this fact. 458 00:17:28,838 --> 00:17:30,339 - so get in there and make her jealous. 459 00:17:30,373 --> 00:17:32,374 - with what? you gonna loan me karen? 460 00:17:32,425 --> 00:17:33,875 - that's disgusting. what's wrong with you? 461 00:17:33,926 --> 00:17:35,460 - what's wrong with you? - fuck you. 462 00:17:35,494 --> 00:17:36,461 [cell phone rings] 463 00:17:36,495 --> 00:17:37,929 Yello. 464 00:17:37,964 --> 00:17:39,214 Shit, really? 465 00:17:39,265 --> 00:17:42,050 Um...[stammering] all right, w-w-we'll-- 466 00:17:42,101 --> 00:17:43,301 Yeah. we'll be right over. 467 00:17:43,335 --> 00:17:44,386 We got to go. - what? 468 00:17:44,437 --> 00:17:45,503 - little problem with the offspring. 469 00:17:45,521 --> 00:17:46,888 Don't panic, no, no, no. 470 00:17:46,939 --> 00:17:48,690 They just-- it seems becca and chelsea 471 00:17:48,725 --> 00:17:50,675 Staged a raid on the dean's wine cellar. 472 00:17:50,693 --> 00:17:53,895 - oh, my god. i knew that chelsea was trouble. 473 00:17:53,946 --> 00:17:55,447 Oh--[smooches] honey, i-- 474 00:17:55,481 --> 00:17:57,449 - okay. call me later. - very nice to meet you. 475 00:17:57,483 --> 00:17:59,901 - i hope she's okay. - bye, rick springfield. 476 00:17:59,952 --> 00:18:02,454 - bye, guys. 477 00:18:02,488 --> 00:18:04,856 - mm. [clears throat] do you want to, um... 478 00:18:04,874 --> 00:18:07,743 Go up to my room and listen to some records? 479 00:18:09,912 --> 00:18:12,547 - only if they're mine. - church. 480 00:18:17,387 --> 00:18:18,754 - so, runkle, 481 00:18:18,805 --> 00:18:21,723 What are you serving for dessert? 482 00:18:21,758 --> 00:18:23,708 I know what i want. 483 00:18:23,726 --> 00:18:26,728 - tube steak. yes, i know. 484 00:18:26,763 --> 00:18:29,264 Listen, sue, this is, uh... 485 00:18:29,315 --> 00:18:32,434 A really difficult time for me right now, 486 00:18:32,485 --> 00:18:34,886 And besides, i should probably let you know 487 00:18:34,904 --> 00:18:36,321 I think i have v.d. 488 00:18:36,355 --> 00:18:37,739 - oh, no worries. 489 00:18:37,774 --> 00:18:41,576 Oh, just slap a bag on it, and i'm good to go. 490 00:18:44,914 --> 00:18:46,564 - welcome. 491 00:18:46,582 --> 00:18:48,784 Glass of cab? 492 00:18:48,835 --> 00:18:51,620 Oh, fuck, i forget what fucking year this is. 493 00:18:51,671 --> 00:18:52,621 Stacy! 494 00:18:52,672 --> 00:18:54,005 - she's drunk. - no. 495 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:55,740 - look, she can't even walk in a straight line. 496 00:18:55,758 --> 00:18:57,793 - felicia, are you drunk? 497 00:18:57,844 --> 00:18:59,077 - just a tiny bit. 498 00:18:59,095 --> 00:19:00,545 Seems such a shame 499 00:19:00,579 --> 00:19:02,747 To let all that perfectly good wine go to waste. 500 00:19:02,765 --> 00:19:04,599 They opened about $3,000 worth. 501 00:19:04,634 --> 00:19:06,251 Which is the one you were saving 502 00:19:06,269 --> 00:19:08,019 For our 20th anniversary? 503 00:19:08,054 --> 00:19:10,555 Not that we're ever gonna get there, at this point. 504 00:19:10,589 --> 00:19:12,641 - oh, darling, i think you should slow down a little bit. 505 00:19:12,692 --> 00:19:14,693 Karen, may i get you a glass? 506 00:19:14,727 --> 00:19:18,363 I've got an '82 petrus, an '86 chateau margaux, 507 00:19:18,397 --> 00:19:20,982 And a '92 screaming eagle cab that'll blow your mind. 508 00:19:21,033 --> 00:19:22,367 What can i get you? 509 00:19:22,401 --> 00:19:25,454 - this is not some fucking social occasion! 510 00:19:25,488 --> 00:19:27,605 I have come here to collect my daughter! 511 00:19:27,623 --> 00:19:28,990 Okay, so where is she? 512 00:19:29,041 --> 00:19:30,208 - whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - becca! 513 00:19:30,243 --> 00:19:31,776 - i understand your concern, but... 514 00:19:31,794 --> 00:19:33,328 - becca! - is profanity really warranted? 515 00:19:33,379 --> 00:19:35,580 - where the fuck is she? - it's a big house. 516 00:19:35,614 --> 00:19:37,282 They keep the kids chained in the basement. 517 00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:39,050 She's not as scary as she seems. 518 00:19:39,085 --> 00:19:41,119 She has some anger-management issues. 519 00:19:41,137 --> 00:19:42,287 - thank you. - excellent. 520 00:19:42,305 --> 00:19:43,788 A whole family of sociopaths. 521 00:19:43,806 --> 00:19:45,674 - okay, in this case, maybe she's right. 522 00:19:45,725 --> 00:19:47,458 We should just get becca and leave. 523 00:19:47,477 --> 00:19:49,060 - yes! - oh, whatever you like. 524 00:19:49,095 --> 00:19:51,629 I-i don't see why we can't all just sit down as adults 525 00:19:51,647 --> 00:19:53,315 And talk this thing through. 526 00:19:53,349 --> 00:19:54,799 - what? your idea of shitty parenting? 527 00:19:54,817 --> 00:19:56,651 - uh-oh. 528 00:19:56,686 --> 00:19:58,520 - oh, well, i don't think that's our place to comment, 529 00:19:58,571 --> 00:19:59,905 Even though you're absolutely right. 530 00:19:59,939 --> 00:20:02,807 - let's all just try to keep cool heads, shall we? 531 00:20:02,825 --> 00:20:04,743 The girls are just testing our boundaries. 532 00:20:04,777 --> 00:20:06,828 It's all perfectly normal for their age range. 533 00:20:06,863 --> 00:20:08,864 - normal for chelsea, maybe. 534 00:20:08,915 --> 00:20:11,249 - are you implying that this is all chelsea's fault? 535 00:20:11,284 --> 00:20:12,817 - oh, no, i'm not implying anything. 536 00:20:12,835 --> 00:20:15,153 I'm just saying it flat out. - oh, you've got a lot of nerve. 537 00:20:15,171 --> 00:20:17,038 - oh, shit, now you've angered the dean. 538 00:20:17,089 --> 00:20:19,207 Becca! becca! - hank, find her. 539 00:20:19,258 --> 00:20:21,376 - fuck it, stacy. she's right. 540 00:20:21,427 --> 00:20:23,328 This is obviously chelsea's fault. 541 00:20:23,346 --> 00:20:24,796 Becca doesn't have the gumption 542 00:20:24,830 --> 00:20:26,548 To get in any kind of serious trouble. 543 00:20:26,599 --> 00:20:28,099 She's a follower. - excuse me? 544 00:20:28,134 --> 00:20:29,885 - oh, no, no, no. i meant it in a nice way. 545 00:20:29,936 --> 00:20:31,669 You know, teenagers suck. 546 00:20:31,687 --> 00:20:34,105 They're all bloody awful, chelsea in particular. 547 00:20:34,140 --> 00:20:36,507 I just hope she makes it to 17 without getting pregnant. 548 00:20:36,526 --> 00:20:37,609 - honey! 549 00:20:37,643 --> 00:20:39,510 - that's not fair. 550 00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:42,564 [slurring] you're all such fucking hypocrites. 551 00:20:42,615 --> 00:20:45,951 We are the way we are 552 00:20:45,985 --> 00:20:48,537 Because you made us this way. 553 00:20:48,571 --> 00:20:51,022 - okay, sweetie, come on. let's go home. 554 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:53,241 - i don't want to go home. - [whispering] hank! 555 00:20:53,292 --> 00:20:55,994 - i want you all to listen to me for once! 556 00:20:56,028 --> 00:20:57,963 - sweetie, we're here. 557 00:20:57,997 --> 00:20:59,548 All right? we're listening. 558 00:20:59,582 --> 00:21:01,366 We're all ears. 559 00:21:01,384 --> 00:21:03,468 What is it you want to say? 560 00:21:03,502 --> 00:21:05,554 What is it-- oh, boy. 561 00:21:05,588 --> 00:21:06,555 - oh! 562 00:21:06,589 --> 00:21:09,257 - [whimpers] 563 00:21:12,261 --> 00:21:15,847 [loud moaning, thudding sounds] 564 00:21:15,881 --> 00:21:19,217 [i've done everything for you playing] 565 00:21:19,235 --> 00:21:21,219 - yes, yes, yes, yes! 566 00:21:21,237 --> 00:21:24,272 [thudding] 567 00:21:24,323 --> 00:21:26,691 - oh, i fucking love this part! 568 00:21:26,725 --> 00:21:31,446 - me too, me too, me too! ah ah ah ah ah! 569 00:21:31,497 --> 00:21:33,949 - hi. what took you so long, runkle? 570 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,734 You know, they've been at it for a while over there. 571 00:21:36,752 --> 00:21:38,086 Sounds good too. 572 00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:40,505 I almost started without you. 573 00:21:40,539 --> 00:21:44,242 - i'm just finishing up some dishes. 574 00:21:44,260 --> 00:21:45,510 [clears throat] 575 00:21:45,544 --> 00:21:47,429 I thought i'd let a few things [sobs] soak. 576 00:21:47,463 --> 00:21:49,014 - runkle, are you-- 577 00:21:49,048 --> 00:21:50,265 Were you crying? 578 00:21:50,299 --> 00:21:52,267 - ah... 579 00:21:52,301 --> 00:21:54,853 Maybe, a little. 580 00:21:54,887 --> 00:21:56,087 Yes. 581 00:21:56,105 --> 00:21:57,639 - oh, please! 582 00:21:57,690 --> 00:21:59,057 Over that? 583 00:21:59,091 --> 00:22:01,309 That's kids' stuff. 584 00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:03,928 Ignore it. - destroy me, rick springfield! 585 00:22:03,946 --> 00:22:06,231 - listen to that, will you? 586 00:22:06,265 --> 00:22:08,700 I don't know how to compete with that! 587 00:22:08,734 --> 00:22:10,935 The only time i ever made marcy squeal like that 588 00:22:10,953 --> 00:22:12,704 Was when i put the ring on her finger! 589 00:22:12,738 --> 00:22:14,105 - harry winston? 590 00:22:14,123 --> 00:22:15,940 - tiffany. 591 00:22:15,958 --> 00:22:17,942 - oh, runkle. 592 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,879 You are the saddest sack i have ever seen! 593 00:22:20,913 --> 00:22:24,249 To you, the glass is always half empty, huh? 594 00:22:24,283 --> 00:22:25,717 Never half full? 595 00:22:25,751 --> 00:22:29,137 - right now my wife is half full of rick springfield! 596 00:22:29,171 --> 00:22:30,755 - that's exactly what i mean. 597 00:22:30,789 --> 00:22:31,890 Men. 598 00:22:31,924 --> 00:22:33,725 I mean, you are the biggest bunch of pussies 599 00:22:33,759 --> 00:22:34,976 There ever was. 600 00:22:35,011 --> 00:22:37,628 - yes, yes, yes! 601 00:22:37,647 --> 00:22:39,130 - you're leaving? - yeah. 602 00:22:39,148 --> 00:22:41,066 Well, i'm gonna let you off the hook this time. 603 00:22:41,100 --> 00:22:43,568 [yelling and thudding continues] but before i go... 604 00:22:43,602 --> 00:22:44,969 I'm gonna give you a little tip 605 00:22:44,987 --> 00:22:47,989 On how to get your hot little wifey back. 606 00:22:48,024 --> 00:22:53,028 Sex is supposed to be about joy, runkle, 607 00:22:53,079 --> 00:22:55,497 Pure joy. 608 00:22:55,531 --> 00:22:57,165 [thudding and moaning] 609 00:22:57,199 --> 00:22:59,918 And if you've forgotten what that sounds like... 610 00:22:59,952 --> 00:23:01,753 Ah! 611 00:23:01,787 --> 00:23:02,987 Oh! 612 00:23:03,005 --> 00:23:05,674 Oh! don't stop! 613 00:23:05,708 --> 00:23:08,009 Runkle, no! don't... 614 00:23:08,044 --> 00:23:09,177 Stop! 615 00:23:09,211 --> 00:23:10,845 Oh, god! 616 00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:12,330 You are good! 617 00:23:12,348 --> 00:23:14,349 Oh, oh, oh! 618 00:23:14,383 --> 00:23:17,936 Ah! that is perfect! 619 00:23:17,970 --> 00:23:18,970 Ah! 620 00:23:19,004 --> 00:23:20,722 Oh, that's--oh--oh-- 621 00:23:20,773 --> 00:23:23,508 That is perfect! 622 00:23:23,526 --> 00:23:26,528 [music stops, silence] 623 00:23:28,013 --> 00:23:30,732 Ahh! 624 00:23:30,783 --> 00:23:33,451 [silence] 625 00:23:35,821 --> 00:23:38,623 Collini...out. 626 00:23:44,046 --> 00:23:46,414 - come on, take this. 627 00:23:46,465 --> 00:23:49,300 - now, you may wake up in the middle of the night... 628 00:23:49,335 --> 00:23:51,202 Possibly craving an egg mcmuffin. 629 00:23:51,220 --> 00:23:53,555 The important thing is not to get off the ride at that point, 630 00:23:53,589 --> 00:23:54,923 But to remain in your seat 631 00:23:54,974 --> 00:23:58,393 With your seatbelt securely fastened. 632 00:23:58,427 --> 00:24:00,895 Okay, sweetie? 633 00:24:00,930 --> 00:24:03,214 - good night, sweetie. 634 00:24:03,232 --> 00:24:06,484 I promise, everything will be better tomorrow. 635 00:24:06,519 --> 00:24:08,770 - except for your head. that'll feel much worse. 636 00:24:08,821 --> 00:24:11,523 - stay. 637 00:24:18,447 --> 00:24:20,615 - what's up, sweetie? 638 00:24:20,666 --> 00:24:23,451 - we don't have to do what she says, you know. 639 00:24:23,502 --> 00:24:26,421 - what who says? - her. 640 00:24:26,455 --> 00:24:28,757 The enemy. 641 00:24:28,791 --> 00:24:30,675 - your mom is not the enemy. 642 00:24:30,709 --> 00:24:32,910 She loves you. she wants what's best for you. 643 00:24:32,928 --> 00:24:35,296 - mom doesn't understand. she never will. 644 00:24:35,347 --> 00:24:38,016 This is it, okay? 645 00:24:38,050 --> 00:24:40,751 I'm not just gonna wake up one day and be like her-- 646 00:24:40,770 --> 00:24:43,354 Six feet tall and beautiful. 647 00:24:44,857 --> 00:24:47,592 - you already are beautiful. 648 00:24:47,610 --> 00:24:51,112 - chelsea's the only friend i've ever had, 649 00:24:51,147 --> 00:24:53,931 The only one who accepts me for who i really am. 650 00:24:53,949 --> 00:24:56,484 - that is not true. - it is. 651 00:24:56,535 --> 00:24:58,787 Do you know what it's like 652 00:24:58,821 --> 00:25:01,606 To have no one and nothing, 653 00:25:01,624 --> 00:25:04,292 How totally awful that feels? 654 00:25:06,612 --> 00:25:08,946 - yes, i think i do. i-- 655 00:25:08,964 --> 00:25:13,218 Once upon a time, i felt like that. 656 00:25:13,252 --> 00:25:15,003 Now i have you. 657 00:25:18,007 --> 00:25:20,475 - yet, somehow... 658 00:25:20,509 --> 00:25:22,844 I still have nothing. 659 00:25:25,181 --> 00:25:28,149 [letters to cleo's i want you to want me] 660 00:25:28,184 --> 00:25:30,935 661 00:25:30,969 --> 00:25:33,771 - ? i need you ? 662 00:25:33,805 --> 00:25:34,823 - good night. 663 00:25:34,857 --> 00:25:36,140 - ? to need me ? 664 00:25:37,993 --> 00:25:43,781 ? i'd love you to love me ? 665 00:25:43,815 --> 00:25:47,368 ? i'm beggin' you ? 666 00:25:47,419 --> 00:25:50,839 ? to beg me ? 667 00:25:52,842 --> 00:25:54,292 - thanks. 668 00:25:56,462 --> 00:25:58,546 So... 669 00:25:58,597 --> 00:26:00,715 [sighs] i guess you're on her side, 670 00:26:00,766 --> 00:26:03,000 Like you guys are this team right now. 671 00:26:03,018 --> 00:26:05,503 - we're a team, all right. 672 00:26:07,389 --> 00:26:10,692 Just not a very good one, 673 00:26:10,726 --> 00:26:12,694 Not without our captain. 674 00:26:12,728 --> 00:26:14,229 You know, you're right. 675 00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:16,347 L.a. is no place to raise a daughter 676 00:26:16,365 --> 00:26:18,483 Or a dad. 677 00:26:18,517 --> 00:26:20,702 We need your guidance. 678 00:26:20,736 --> 00:26:22,687 We need you, mommy dearest... 679 00:26:24,406 --> 00:26:27,709 Really... 680 00:26:27,743 --> 00:26:30,745 Even though sometimes we may take you for granted 681 00:26:30,796 --> 00:26:33,464 And throw embarrassing hissy fits and get drunk 682 00:26:33,499 --> 00:26:36,968 And generally act like we don't give a shit about anything. 683 00:26:38,470 --> 00:26:39,804 - so you're just both 684 00:26:39,838 --> 00:26:42,090 Adolescent girls at heart, right? 685 00:26:42,141 --> 00:26:46,060 - yes, we are, the both of us. 686 00:26:47,763 --> 00:26:50,348 - i like you like this. 687 00:26:50,382 --> 00:26:52,717 - what, all defeated and shit? 688 00:26:52,735 --> 00:26:54,051 - yes. 689 00:26:54,069 --> 00:26:57,221 You're like-- you're like putty in my hands. 690 00:26:57,239 --> 00:26:59,107 - oh, yeah? - really. 691 00:26:59,158 --> 00:27:01,892 - do with me what you will. - mm. 692 00:27:01,911 --> 00:27:05,029 - ? i'll shine up the old red shoes ? 693 00:27:05,063 --> 00:27:08,750 - anything? - yeah, anything at all. 694 00:27:08,784 --> 00:27:11,536 - ? i'll come home straight from work ? 695 00:27:11,570 --> 00:27:14,572 ? if you say ? 696 00:27:14,590 --> 00:27:16,291 ? that you love me ? 697 00:27:16,342 --> 00:27:18,459 - mm. hank? 698 00:27:18,510 --> 00:27:19,627 - wha... 699 00:27:19,678 --> 00:27:22,580 - you know what i said about bill this morning? 700 00:27:22,598 --> 00:27:23,914 - yes. 701 00:27:23,933 --> 00:27:25,516 - [whispers] got ya. 702 00:27:25,551 --> 00:27:29,387 - ? didn't i, didn't i, didn't i see you cryin'? ? 703 00:27:29,421 --> 00:27:31,356 - you fucker. 704 00:27:31,390 --> 00:27:33,141 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 705 00:27:33,192 --> 00:27:34,776 - ? feeling all alone without a friend ? 706 00:27:34,810 --> 00:27:43,200 ? you know i feel like dying ?