1
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Previously on Californication...

2
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My dirty little whore of a nose

3
00:00:04,231 --> 00:00:06,232
is sorry that she let you down.

4
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I wanna fix this, Charlie.

5
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Come on, say it, baby, say it.

6
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I'm getting fucked by Rick Springfield.

7
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Do you want to, um, go up to my room

8
00:00:15,426 --> 00:00:16,926
and listen to some records?

9
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- Only if they're mine.
- Church.

10
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You're my student.

11
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Not anymore, I'm not.

12
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I offered myself to you,
and you weren't interested.

13
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If only I could have just
had one little nibble.

14
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Oh!

15
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I'm in love with you, Hank Moody.

16
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Whoa!

17
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Were you sleeping with your T.A.

18
00:00:38,783 --> 00:00:40,650
the whole time you
were sleeping with me?

19
00:00:40,701 --> 00:00:43,787
What? Your dad's fucking my mom!

20
00:00:43,821 --> 00:00:45,955
So what, you're saying we
just pack up and leave L.A.?

21
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The three of us move back
to New York, together?

22
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Yeah. End of the semester. Whatever.

23
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Oh, hey!

24
00:01:05,643 --> 00:01:07,761
Go ahead. You've earned the right.

25
00:01:07,795 --> 00:01:09,796
Can't deny this privilege.

26
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Fire my ass.

27
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Oh, I'm not planning to fire you.

28
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Come again?

29
00:01:15,269 --> 00:01:17,153
Unfortunately, not a
single one of the ladies

30
00:01:17,188 --> 00:01:19,138
that you so egregiously fouled

31
00:01:19,156 --> 00:01:21,658
has agreed to stand up and
press formal charges against you.

32
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And without that, the matter ends here.

33
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You win, Hank Moody. I admit defeat.

34
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Not even my wife will
say a bad word about you.

35
00:01:28,783 --> 00:01:31,000
Or should I say ex-wife?

36
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Just this morning, she
requested I vacate the premises.

37
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- Oh, no, she didn't!
- Oh, yes, she did.

38
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No, you can't... you can't kick
the Dean out of the deanery.

39
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That shit is wrong.

40
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You've gotta get that woman back.

41
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I can help you. What
do you want me to do?

42
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Just ask me. Ask me... what can I do?

43
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Okay, I've got a question for you.

44
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You...
- No, not now.

45
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Hold on, I got a call.

46
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Oh. M. Flower. I don't
recognize that number.

47
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- M...
- I don't need to take it.

48
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Mayflower, moron.
Mayflower School for girls.

49
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- That call could be important!
- Oh!

50
00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:08,905
- Hank Moody.
- Stacy Koons.

51
00:02:08,956 --> 00:02:11,207
Yes, I'll, uh... I'll
hold for Principal Green

52
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on a disciplinary matter.

53
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I will also hold for Principal Green.

54
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Oh, this is Principal Green.

55
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I'm handling it here.

56
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I got it. Uh-Huh.

57
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I'm listening. A fight? Oh...

58
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a disagreement, you mean, an argument.

59
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- Oh, that kind of fight.
- What kind of fight?

60
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A physical confrontation. Hmm.

61
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Ah, yeah. That's my girl.

62
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Sync by honeybunny
- corrected by chamallow35 www.Addic7ed.Com

63
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I assure you that expulsion
is not a step we take lightly.

64
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- Expulsion?
- Hey, slow down, Dean Koons.

65
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It's not so much fun here

66
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on the other side of the desk, is it?

67
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Yes, Stacy, let's just wait and see

68
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what Principal Green has to say.

69
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She's such a kiss-ass!

70
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After all, she didn't
say that both girls...

71
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Oh, no, they're both being expelled.

72
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We have a zero-tolerance policy

73
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on violence here at
the Mayflower School.

74
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We've just never had to apply it before,

75
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since most of our young
ladies have been taught

76
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not to resort to physical violence

77
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as a means of expression.

78
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Mm-Hmm. So... hey, let's
look at the bright side here.

79
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We're making history. Big
ups for women's rights.

80
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You know what? This is wrong.

81
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There is just no way that
Becca would hit anyone.

82
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Right. Not without being provoked.

83
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We're not a family that
takes shit lying down.

84
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There, see, he just admitted
it was Becca's fault.

85
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- I did not.
- Did too.

86
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- I didn't. I didn't.
- Did too. Did.

87
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Principal Green, I'm
sure that there's no need

88
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to take drastic action

89
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that might impact the
girls' academic future.

90
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Chelsea was clearly upset yesterday

91
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because her father was moving out.

92
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I tried to explain to her
that it wasn't Hank's fault.

93
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What? What's she talking about?

94
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I don't know. She has that accent...

95
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- I'm so sorry.
- Hank's fault?

96
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You didn't tell her.

97
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Tell me what?

98
00:04:34,635 --> 00:04:37,020
Becca's father and I had a
slight, well, indiscretion

99
00:04:37,054 --> 00:04:39,439
that may have contributed...
indirectly, though...

100
00:04:39,473 --> 00:04:40,773
to the girls' little kafuffle.

101
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She's kidding, right? You
have got to be kidding me.

102
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He fucks my wife,

103
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I somehow ended up sleeping
at the faculty club.

104
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Oh, Stacy, you're making
this worse than it has to be.

105
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- I don't think so.
- Karen...

106
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You! You... you say one word to me,

107
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and I will show you where
Becca learned to throw down.

108
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Hey, there, Minnie Mouse.

109
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Whoa! Shouldn't you be
dressed and ready for action?

110
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I mean waxin'. Action waxin'.

111
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Ha ha. You get it? It rhymes.

112
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Action waxin'.

113
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Bite me.

114
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Still no call from Rick Springfield.

115
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You don't have to sound
so chipper about it.

116
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The man's been in Tahoe
for the past three days.

117
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I know, I know.

118
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That was a huge show for him.

119
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He's probably just
decompressing right now.

120
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Sure, sure.

121
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Or maybe...

122
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he's trying to tell you something.

123
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You know, this could be a
blessing in disguise, really.

124
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He'll call.

125
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Maybe.

126
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Or... maybe not.

127
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You know, maybe Rick Springfield

128
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not calling you for three days

129
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is his way of saying that
he doesn't see the real you,

130
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that he doesn't, uh,
value your essential

131
00:05:59,103 --> 00:06:00,520
woman-ness and so forth.

132
00:06:00,554 --> 00:06:03,723
Oh, my God, would you please
mind your own business, Runkle?

133
00:06:03,757 --> 00:06:05,591
Hey, Rick Springfield is my business.

134
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He's my client, for Christ sakes.

135
00:06:07,094 --> 00:06:08,645
You know, I'll tell
you something, Marce.

136
00:06:08,696 --> 00:06:11,614
I have seen some things,
okay, up close and personal,

137
00:06:11,649 --> 00:06:14,534
some strangely fucked-up shit, huh?

138
00:06:14,568 --> 00:06:17,937
That guy... he's not the
biggest friend to women.

139
00:06:17,955 --> 00:06:19,238
Oh...

140
00:06:19,272 --> 00:06:21,941
and you're frigging
bella abzug over here.

141
00:06:21,959 --> 00:06:23,826
Far from it.

142
00:06:23,877 --> 00:06:27,780
No, I totally get it...
I'm dating my dream crush...

143
00:06:27,798 --> 00:06:29,749
hitting my peak sexually,

144
00:06:29,783 --> 00:06:33,119
this close to selling
this frigid box of a house,

145
00:06:33,137 --> 00:06:34,954
and moving on with my life,

146
00:06:34,972 --> 00:06:36,973
and you just don't want
me to be happy, Charlie.

147
00:06:37,007 --> 00:06:40,143
Of course I want you to be happy, Marcy.

148
00:06:40,177 --> 00:06:42,979
God, I mean, look,
we're talking here, okay?

149
00:06:43,013 --> 00:06:45,598
I miss this. I miss us.

150
00:06:45,632 --> 00:06:47,316
Do you know how long it's been

151
00:06:47,351 --> 00:06:49,435
since I've heard you say
those three little words?

152
00:06:49,469 --> 00:06:51,154
Eat my clam?

153
00:06:51,188 --> 00:06:54,490
Eat my clam... No, no, not eat my clam.

154
00:06:54,525 --> 00:06:56,275
I love you.

155
00:06:56,309 --> 00:06:58,161
I don't mean to get a
bee in my bonnet, babe.

156
00:06:58,195 --> 00:07:00,146
I just... I don't wanna
see you waste your life

157
00:07:00,164 --> 00:07:02,865
waiting for a phone call
that might never come.

158
00:07:02,916 --> 00:07:05,501
Oh, it's coming, fool.

159
00:07:05,536 --> 00:07:07,503
And by the way, my gay uncle called.

160
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He wants his expressions back.

161
00:07:16,764 --> 00:07:19,331
Guess it's homeschooling after all.

162
00:07:19,349 --> 00:07:22,218
Well, you better hope that
he remembers his algebra,

163
00:07:22,269 --> 00:07:24,336
because you definitely won't be going

164
00:07:24,354 --> 00:07:26,139
to a New York private school after this.

165
00:07:26,173 --> 00:07:28,391
Well, obviously, she was provoked.

166
00:07:28,442 --> 00:07:30,977
Yes. She called you a home wrecker...

167
00:07:31,011 --> 00:07:32,195
which you are.

168
00:07:32,229 --> 00:07:33,529
Yet somehow that didn't stop me

169
00:07:33,564 --> 00:07:35,231
from shoving her into
the vending machine.

170
00:07:35,282 --> 00:07:37,516
Then the hitting began.

171
00:07:37,534 --> 00:07:39,902
Satisfied?

172
00:07:41,622 --> 00:07:44,907
Hank, I asked you to do one thing.

173
00:07:44,958 --> 00:07:47,794
Look after Becca. How hard is that?

174
00:07:47,828 --> 00:07:49,528
Hard. Real hard.

175
00:07:49,546 --> 00:07:51,030
I understand that now.

176
00:07:51,048 --> 00:07:52,999
Well, it couldn't have
been that hard, could it?

177
00:07:53,033 --> 00:07:54,366
What's that supposed to mean?

178
00:07:54,384 --> 00:07:56,719
You know what that means.

179
00:07:56,754 --> 00:07:58,204
You're mad about Felicia?

180
00:07:58,222 --> 00:07:59,889
No. I would not give
you the satisfaction

181
00:07:59,923 --> 00:08:01,424
of being mad about Felicia.

182
00:08:01,475 --> 00:08:03,392
I don't know how
satisfying that would be.

183
00:08:03,427 --> 00:08:05,728
You know what? While I'm
working my ass off in New York,

184
00:08:05,763 --> 00:08:07,563
you start some kind of relationship

185
00:08:07,598 --> 00:08:10,349
with the most annoying
woman on the planet,

186
00:08:10,383 --> 00:08:13,569
who also happens to be the
mother of Becca's best friend

187
00:08:13,604 --> 00:08:15,571
and your boss! What is...

188
00:08:15,606 --> 00:08:17,657
It's not a relationship,
Karen, far from it.

189
00:08:17,691 --> 00:08:18,908
You know that.

190
00:08:18,942 --> 00:08:20,576
She was just looking
to sleep with someone...

191
00:08:20,611 --> 00:08:22,195
anyone... get her groove back,

192
00:08:22,229 --> 00:08:24,530
get back at the Dean,
and I... I didn't want to.

193
00:08:24,564 --> 00:08:26,582
I thought it was a bad idea.
You know, it seemed wrong to me.

194
00:08:26,617 --> 00:08:29,085
We don't like to get involved
in other people's marital woes,

195
00:08:29,119 --> 00:08:30,286
'cause we've been there.

196
00:08:30,337 --> 00:08:31,621
That's some sad, messed-up shit,

197
00:08:31,672 --> 00:08:33,072
and I wanted to keep us out of it.

198
00:08:33,090 --> 00:08:35,541
Oh, you did a really good job
of not getting involved, Hank.

199
00:08:35,575 --> 00:08:37,510
Well, I did, at first. I refused.

200
00:08:37,544 --> 00:08:40,129
But then she was gonna call in
her chip with this other dude,

201
00:08:40,180 --> 00:08:42,248
this Mr. Zipless fuck,
a real cheeseball...

202
00:08:42,266 --> 00:08:44,083
You know what? Out.

203
00:08:44,101 --> 00:08:45,685
What? What?

204
00:08:45,719 --> 00:08:47,804
I don't want to hear
about Felicia and her...

205
00:08:47,855 --> 00:08:49,222
- Midlife crisis, okay?
- Okay.

206
00:08:49,256 --> 00:08:51,808
Do you have any idea how
fucking infuriating you are?

207
00:08:51,859 --> 00:08:53,693
Yes. Yes, I do.

208
00:08:53,727 --> 00:08:55,278
I'm just trying to fill you in

209
00:08:55,312 --> 00:08:56,979
on what happened while you were away.

210
00:08:57,030 --> 00:09:00,867
Leave now, okay? I
need... I need peace, Hank.

211
00:09:00,901 --> 00:09:02,568
You must have something to do,

212
00:09:02,619 --> 00:09:04,570
I... I mean some... papers to grade,

213
00:09:04,604 --> 00:09:06,105
some fucking marijuana to smoke,

214
00:09:06,123 --> 00:09:09,075
hey, some students to fuck.

215
00:09:09,109 --> 00:09:13,162
What? So... so you'd be
totally fine if I, uh...

216
00:09:14,298 --> 00:09:16,282
Uhh!

217
00:09:37,020 --> 00:09:39,689
Ohh. Pipes of a fucking angel.

218
00:09:39,740 --> 00:09:42,024
You know, I gotta take this down

219
00:09:42,075 --> 00:09:43,409
and play it for the
girls at the orphanage.

220
00:09:43,443 --> 00:09:44,777
Right on.

221
00:09:44,811 --> 00:09:46,812
Hey, I'm doing a
children's charity concert

222
00:09:46,830 --> 00:09:48,281
at, uh, the Grove Thursday night.

223
00:09:48,315 --> 00:09:51,417
Yeah, half the proceeds go
to, uh, juvenile diabetes.

224
00:09:52,669 --> 00:09:54,486
What?

225
00:09:54,504 --> 00:09:56,322
Um, I'm speechless.

226
00:09:56,340 --> 00:09:58,824
Girls at the orphanage?
Juvenile diabetes?

227
00:09:58,842 --> 00:10:00,492
Who are you two, and what have you done

228
00:10:00,510 --> 00:10:02,161
with the nymphomaniacal sociopaths

229
00:10:02,179 --> 00:10:03,829
I've grown to love and loathe?

230
00:10:03,847 --> 00:10:05,831
Sorry to burst your bubble, Runkle.

231
00:10:05,849 --> 00:10:08,968
- I'm a complicated beast.
- Me too.

232
00:10:09,002 --> 00:10:10,502
Plus, you know, charity
events are like ground zero

233
00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:11,637
for single pussy.

234
00:10:11,671 --> 00:10:13,022
And he's back.

235
00:10:13,056 --> 00:10:14,673
Hey, you should have seen me in Tahoe.

236
00:10:14,691 --> 00:10:16,692
Two nights, six chicks... no rubbers.

237
00:10:16,727 --> 00:10:19,695
Bravo, Rick. Bravo.

238
00:10:19,730 --> 00:10:22,514
Safety first, I always say, of course.

239
00:10:22,532 --> 00:10:23,983
But then again,

240
00:10:24,017 --> 00:10:25,818
I'm not the one who's currently having

241
00:10:25,852 --> 00:10:28,487
intimate relations with my wife.

242
00:10:28,572 --> 00:10:31,040
Oh, can it, Runkle. Life's messy.

243
00:10:31,074 --> 00:10:32,691
You better clean up your game, gonzo...

244
00:10:32,709 --> 00:10:34,577
the womanizing, the boozing.

245
00:10:34,628 --> 00:10:37,196
If you won't do it for Marcy,
at least do it for your career.

246
00:10:37,214 --> 00:10:40,366
We have landed you the
comeback vehicle of a lifetime.

247
00:10:40,384 --> 00:10:42,501
Please don't fuck it up.

248
00:10:42,535 --> 00:10:44,136
Hey, please don't use
the "C" word, all right?

249
00:10:44,171 --> 00:10:46,038
I'm not coming back from anything.

250
00:10:46,056 --> 00:10:48,758
That reminds me... I need some blow.

251
00:10:50,677 --> 00:10:52,395
Sorry?

252
00:10:52,479 --> 00:10:54,230
Dude, you heard me.

253
00:10:54,264 --> 00:10:55,898
Some blow, some yay, some white girl,

254
00:10:55,933 --> 00:10:57,216
some powder, some cake.

255
00:10:57,234 --> 00:10:58,684
I start filming tomorrow.

256
00:10:58,718 --> 00:11:00,736
It's my last chance to
get fucked out of my mind.

257
00:11:00,771 --> 00:11:02,688
All due respect, '80s rock star,

258
00:11:02,722 --> 00:11:05,441
I think you'd have a better
line on cocaine than I would.

259
00:11:05,492 --> 00:11:06,409
So?

260
00:11:06,493 --> 00:11:07,726
So why are you asking me

261
00:11:07,744 --> 00:11:10,112
to procure you drugs
like I'm your assistant?

262
00:11:10,163 --> 00:11:13,065
Gee, uh, let me see.
Because I fucking can.

263
00:11:13,083 --> 00:11:15,901
I don't think I like your tone, bud,

264
00:11:15,919 --> 00:11:17,954
not one little bit.

265
00:11:18,005 --> 00:11:21,573
9:00 p.m., my trailer on set.

266
00:11:21,541 --> 00:11:24,076
Okay?

267
00:11:27,514 --> 00:11:30,582
Aw, Christ, Runkle.

268
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:31,750
Sack up!

269
00:11:31,768 --> 00:11:33,436
If a client asks you

270
00:11:33,470 --> 00:11:36,222
to dress up like a french
maid and rim his shit-hole,

271
00:11:36,256 --> 00:11:38,808
you comply, with bells on, huh?

272
00:11:38,859 --> 00:11:41,444
I would hook him up myself,
but my guy's in Thailand...

273
00:11:41,478 --> 00:11:44,897
Just some sex tourism,
something like that, anyway.

274
00:11:44,931 --> 00:11:46,532
So this one's on you.

275
00:11:46,566 --> 00:11:47,650
Oh. Almost forgot.

276
00:11:47,701 --> 00:11:49,285
Here.

277
00:11:49,319 --> 00:11:51,404
Annual bonus.

278
00:11:51,438 --> 00:11:53,990
Don't spend it all
in one place, ladyboy.

279
00:12:00,613 --> 00:12:02,048
This does seem mighty small.

280
00:12:02,082 --> 00:12:03,749
I think I got a bigger bonus check

281
00:12:03,783 --> 00:12:05,384
when I worked at Blockbuster in '91.

282
00:12:05,419 --> 00:12:07,336
Wait, wait. Be kind, rewind.

283
00:12:07,421 --> 00:12:08,804
Hank Moody worked at Blockbuster?

284
00:12:08,839 --> 00:12:11,457
Yeah. Yeah, I had the
khakis, the tucked-in polo.

285
00:12:11,475 --> 00:12:12,958
The whole thing.

286
00:12:12,976 --> 00:12:14,927
I used to splice porn
into the Disney films.

287
00:12:14,961 --> 00:12:16,962
Of course you did.

288
00:12:16,980 --> 00:12:18,564
But back to you.

289
00:12:18,598 --> 00:12:21,317
How does this all make you feel...

290
00:12:21,351 --> 00:12:23,853
emotionally?

291
00:12:23,904 --> 00:12:25,104
Wow.

292
00:12:25,138 --> 00:12:28,074
Well...

293
00:12:28,108 --> 00:12:29,975
between my sad little bonus check

294
00:12:29,993 --> 00:12:32,111
and my new position
as Rick Springfield's

295
00:12:32,145 --> 00:12:33,645
drug dealer/pimp,

296
00:12:33,663 --> 00:12:37,950
I would have to say I
feel like shit emotionally.

297
00:12:37,984 --> 00:12:40,986
Enough! I've grown tired of
your jibber-jabber, Runkle.

298
00:12:41,004 --> 00:12:42,955
My turn. Let's switch it up.

299
00:12:48,295 --> 00:12:49,345
Ohh...

300
00:12:49,379 --> 00:12:51,714
Becca got expelled.

301
00:12:51,765 --> 00:12:54,383
She went all Leon Spinks on her bff.

302
00:12:54,468 --> 00:12:55,718
Really?

303
00:12:55,769 --> 00:12:58,854
Is it creepy that I find
that mildly arousing?

304
00:12:58,889 --> 00:13:01,891
- Yes.
- Continue.

305
00:13:01,808 --> 00:13:03,943
Karen is livid, as well she should be.

306
00:13:03,977 --> 00:13:06,178
I honestly don't know how
it all got so out of hand.

307
00:13:06,196 --> 00:13:08,064
Chelsea and Becca were thick as thieves,

308
00:13:08,115 --> 00:13:09,615
once upon a time, like you and me.

309
00:13:09,649 --> 00:13:11,734
The Dean's been kicked
out of the deanery.

310
00:13:11,785 --> 00:13:13,352
Felicia did that, and that ain't right.

311
00:13:13,370 --> 00:13:14,520
And I should be happy.

312
00:13:14,538 --> 00:13:16,021
I know I should,

313
00:13:16,039 --> 00:13:18,874
because we're all packing up
and moving to New York soon.

314
00:13:23,196 --> 00:13:24,830
Are you weeping?

315
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,034
I need cocaine!

316
00:13:31,871 --> 00:13:33,923
- And this concerns me how?
- I don't know!

317
00:13:33,974 --> 00:13:35,007
Mm.

318
00:13:35,041 --> 00:13:37,376
I just... I might get fired!

319
00:13:37,394 --> 00:13:39,395
Collini doesn't give a shit about me.

320
00:13:39,429 --> 00:13:41,213
Marcy... Marcy, she's
a fucking stranger.

321
00:13:41,231 --> 00:13:44,600
No one takes care of me!

322
00:13:44,651 --> 00:13:46,185
And now you, you're leaving me too.

323
00:13:46,269 --> 00:13:48,487
You're moving back to New York.

324
00:13:53,527 --> 00:13:55,995
Come here.

325
00:13:58,949 --> 00:14:00,833
Big boy.

326
00:14:00,867 --> 00:14:02,535
Uh, sorry.

327
00:14:02,569 --> 00:14:06,505
Am I interrupting
something, Professor Moody?

328
00:14:06,540 --> 00:14:08,791
Nah. Just a complete
psychological breakdown.

329
00:14:08,842 --> 00:14:10,292
I'm just picking up my essay.

330
00:14:10,343 --> 00:14:11,910
Jill said she graded them.

331
00:14:11,928 --> 00:14:14,847
- Rock on.
- Oh.

332
00:14:17,217 --> 00:14:19,918
Oh, and you should
hit up Dave Edelstein.

333
00:14:19,936 --> 00:14:21,587
Kind of a douche,

334
00:14:21,605 --> 00:14:24,890
but his coke is the fucking truth.

335
00:14:28,761 --> 00:14:31,430
What? It's a great study aid.

336
00:14:31,615 --> 00:14:34,033
Plus, it suppresses my gag reflex.

337
00:14:34,067 --> 00:14:37,102
Good for... you know.

338
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:41,707
Noted. And dismissed.

339
00:14:41,741 --> 00:14:44,326
Shotgun?

340
00:14:49,249 --> 00:14:52,117
They're not gonna hear that.

341
00:14:52,135 --> 00:14:54,286
An unreliable drug
dealer, the fucking gall.

342
00:14:54,254 --> 00:14:56,005
All right, well. We tried, right?

343
00:14:56,056 --> 00:14:57,456
- I gave it a shot.
- That's you trying?

344
00:14:57,474 --> 00:14:58,624
What?

345
00:14:58,642 --> 00:15:00,626
No wonder my last book didn't sell.

346
00:15:00,644 --> 00:15:02,344
- Aeeeii!
- Cheese it, the cops.

347
00:15:05,148 --> 00:15:07,266
Oh! Unlocked.

348
00:15:07,300 --> 00:15:10,436
Go, go!

349
00:15:16,660 --> 00:15:18,994
Come on.

350
00:15:25,985 --> 00:15:27,086
Ha ha!

351
00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:29,338
Bleah!

352
00:15:29,372 --> 00:15:32,124
Oh, a fleshlight... stealthy, secure.

353
00:15:32,158 --> 00:15:34,176
I hate to say it, but
it's highly likely.

354
00:15:34,211 --> 00:15:37,963
Maybe in the labia. Vas definitely.

355
00:15:37,997 --> 00:15:40,266
- I would, uh, check it out.
- Oh, shit!

356
00:15:40,300 --> 00:15:43,602
Looks a little like you. Check it.

357
00:15:43,637 --> 00:15:45,354
Go deep. Dig in.

358
00:15:45,388 --> 00:15:47,339
Get in there.

359
00:15:49,309 --> 00:15:52,177
Oh, Charlie.

360
00:15:52,195 --> 00:15:54,613
Ah! Goddamn it. It's sticky inside.

361
00:15:54,648 --> 00:15:56,148
What are you laughing at?

362
00:15:56,182 --> 00:15:58,367
'Cause I know where it is, numb nuts.

363
00:15:58,401 --> 00:15:59,618
Go.

364
00:15:59,653 --> 00:16:01,853
Fucking hell.

365
00:16:01,871 --> 00:16:04,206
Oh, you have got to be kidding me.

366
00:16:05,659 --> 00:16:07,192
Go ahead. I had a few when I was a kid.

367
00:16:07,210 --> 00:16:09,662
They're... they're like
sweethearts with scales.

368
00:16:11,197 --> 00:16:13,132
- Just do it.
- What is dis?

369
00:16:13,166 --> 00:16:17,303
Okay. You're not such a
bad boy, really, are you?

370
00:16:17,337 --> 00:16:19,471
No...

371
00:16:19,506 --> 00:16:21,390
You're a good little boy.

372
00:16:21,424 --> 00:16:23,726
That's a good boy.

373
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:28,347
- Ow! Fuck! Ah! God!
- Runkle, shit!

374
00:16:28,381 --> 00:16:29,565
What the fuck, Runkle?

375
00:16:29,599 --> 00:16:31,150
That fucking thing fed upon me!

376
00:16:31,184 --> 00:16:33,819
That fucking goddamn
monster fucking ate my flesh.

377
00:16:33,853 --> 00:16:35,988
Oh, shit. Jesus Christ,
what if it's poisonous?

378
00:16:36,022 --> 00:16:38,073
I think I... I feel
my heart slowing down.

379
00:16:38,108 --> 00:16:40,442
Oh, my God, I think
something weird is happening.

380
00:16:40,493 --> 00:16:41,660
Is there?

381
00:16:41,695 --> 00:16:43,395
You're becoming an even bigger pussy!

382
00:16:43,413 --> 00:16:44,997
It's a garter snake. It's
an overgrown earthworm.

383
00:16:45,031 --> 00:16:45,998
You're fine.

384
00:16:46,032 --> 00:16:47,199
Excuse me.

385
00:16:47,233 --> 00:16:49,001
IDs now.

386
00:16:49,035 --> 00:16:51,170
Oh, well, actually, we're
just... we're just visiting.

387
00:16:51,204 --> 00:16:54,089
- Yeah? Who you visiting?
- His, uh...  His, uh, cousin.

388
00:16:54,124 --> 00:16:55,507
- Yeah.
- Lover. His nephew.

389
00:16:55,542 --> 00:16:57,242
David Edelstein.

390
00:16:57,260 --> 00:16:59,578
David Edelstein.

391
00:16:59,596 --> 00:17:01,930
Runkle. Runkle.

392
00:17:05,719 --> 00:17:07,252
Run, Runkle!

393
00:17:07,270 --> 00:17:09,254
Oh, I'm sorry.

394
00:17:09,272 --> 00:17:11,757
Jeez. Okay. Sorry. Sorry.

395
00:17:13,727 --> 00:17:15,394
Oh, sorry, sorry.

396
00:17:21,735 --> 00:17:22,701
Oh!

397
00:17:22,736 --> 00:17:23,902
That's my left ball!

398
00:17:23,936 --> 00:17:25,204
That's my right ball.

399
00:17:25,238 --> 00:17:27,206
No! Not the glans!

400
00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:30,242
Runkle, save yourself. Run!

401
00:17:30,276 --> 00:17:32,578
Easy on the cuffs there, bad lieutenant.

402
00:17:32,612 --> 00:17:34,963
- You're making a big mistake.
- Save it for the cops.

403
00:17:34,998 --> 00:17:36,749
You know, I'm very tight with the Dean.

404
00:17:36,783 --> 00:17:38,584
He will not be pleased
when he hears about this.

405
00:17:38,618 --> 00:17:40,586
- You're friends with the Dean?
- I fucked his wife.

406
00:17:40,620 --> 00:17:41,587
Oh!

407
00:17:43,306 --> 00:17:45,557
What, no dinner?

408
00:17:45,592 --> 00:17:48,510
Oh. I didn't think you'd be hungry.

409
00:17:48,561 --> 00:17:50,312
I'm not.

410
00:17:50,347 --> 00:17:53,232
No, me neither.

411
00:17:53,266 --> 00:17:55,818
Hey! Would you look at that?

412
00:17:55,852 --> 00:17:57,903
We have something in common.

413
00:17:57,937 --> 00:18:00,606
That, and we're both pissed at him.

414
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:01,857
I'm not pissed at him,

415
00:18:01,908 --> 00:18:03,776
because it would not be
appropriate for me to be...

416
00:18:03,810 --> 00:18:05,110
Mother.

417
00:18:05,144 --> 00:18:06,328
Daughter.

418
00:18:06,413 --> 00:18:08,414
I just wanna know what
the fuck is going on

419
00:18:08,448 --> 00:18:09,648
with my own life.

420
00:18:09,666 --> 00:18:11,917
Yep. That seems reasonable.

421
00:18:11,951 --> 00:18:13,869
Basic, simple things.

422
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,620
Where am I going to school?

423
00:18:15,672 --> 00:18:19,124
Is he living with us?
Is he not living with us?

424
00:18:19,158 --> 00:18:21,460
Is someone in charge here, anyone?

425
00:18:21,494 --> 00:18:24,213
Or are we just going on
in this fucked-up limbo

426
00:18:24,264 --> 00:18:25,664
forever and ever?

427
00:18:25,682 --> 00:18:28,467
Sweetie, I know, I know
it doesn't make any sense.

428
00:18:28,501 --> 00:18:31,637
You can't sweetie me. I'm
not six years old anymore.

429
00:18:31,671 --> 00:18:34,473
- I need real answers.
- I know.

430
00:18:34,507 --> 00:18:36,308
You're right, I'm sorry. I...

431
00:18:36,342 --> 00:18:38,610
and I know that's nowhere near enough.

432
00:18:38,645 --> 00:18:39,978
I...

433
00:18:40,012 --> 00:18:42,364
You see, I had a plan.

434
00:18:42,399 --> 00:18:45,016
I did.

435
00:18:45,034 --> 00:18:47,786
But it just didn't work out
the way I thought it would.

436
00:18:47,821 --> 00:18:51,623
Oh, you thought he'd do a
good job of being in charge?

437
00:18:51,658 --> 00:18:53,191
Right.

438
00:18:55,795 --> 00:18:57,963
I have an idea. Let's get outta here.

439
00:18:57,997 --> 00:18:59,581
We've been cooped up all day long.

440
00:18:59,632 --> 00:19:00,999
We need fresh air.

441
00:19:01,033 --> 00:19:02,718
Whatever.

442
00:19:02,752 --> 00:19:05,504
That was kind of a yes, wasn't it?

443
00:19:05,538 --> 00:19:08,724
Come with me.

444
00:19:44,711 --> 00:19:46,578
Hey, man.

445
00:19:46,596 --> 00:19:49,548
You... you're really
hanging out down there, Rick.

446
00:19:49,582 --> 00:19:53,602
Yeah. I like to free-ball
with my eight ball.

447
00:19:53,636 --> 00:19:55,771
Evidently.

448
00:19:58,191 --> 00:20:02,561
Jesus.

449
00:20:02,595 --> 00:20:04,279
Okay. Look, Rick.

450
00:20:04,314 --> 00:20:06,899
Before I, uh, hand over the goods,

451
00:20:06,933 --> 00:20:08,266
I just... I really feel like

452
00:20:08,284 --> 00:20:09,935
I need to get something off my chest.

453
00:20:09,953 --> 00:20:11,269
All right, Charlie. It's okay.

454
00:20:11,287 --> 00:20:14,439
I... I was out of line today. I'm sorry.

455
00:20:14,457 --> 00:20:16,542
I mean, you're my agent.
You're not my errand boy.

456
00:20:16,576 --> 00:20:20,295
Wow! I'm... I'm surprised.

457
00:20:20,330 --> 00:20:23,081
Well, okay. Uh, thank you, Rick.

458
00:20:23,115 --> 00:20:24,633
- I appreciate that.
- Okay. So?

459
00:20:24,667 --> 00:20:27,669
- Coca!
- Absolutely.

460
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:29,588
I'm just... I'm very
thirsty. It was a long trip.

461
00:20:29,622 --> 00:20:33,475
I see you got a cooler.
I need some refreshment.

462
00:20:40,633 --> 00:20:43,602
Where is she?

463
00:20:43,636 --> 00:20:46,471
Marcy, where are you? I
know you're in here, Marcy.

464
00:20:48,107 --> 00:20:52,160
Uh-oh.

465
00:20:52,195 --> 00:20:53,946
I don't know what shocks me more...

466
00:20:53,980 --> 00:20:57,115
The fact that you've obviously
completely replaced me

467
00:20:57,149 --> 00:21:00,919
or that you jeopardize your
sobriety for this fuckwit!

468
00:21:00,954 --> 00:21:03,822
Ohh! This fuckwit...

469
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:05,657
happens to be one of the kindest,

470
00:21:05,675 --> 00:21:08,293
gentlest lovers I've ever known.

471
00:21:08,327 --> 00:21:10,879
Ha! Yeah, I know a couple
of strippers out there

472
00:21:10,930 --> 00:21:12,998
who might dispute that assessment.

473
00:21:13,016 --> 00:21:16,635
Hey, watch it, Runkle.
Gimme my fucking blow!

474
00:21:22,559 --> 00:21:25,861
Ha ha ha ha ha!

475
00:21:25,895 --> 00:21:27,729
Oh, shit!

476
00:21:27,780 --> 00:21:29,481
You looking to get your ass fired?

477
00:21:29,515 --> 00:21:31,483
- That's not possible.
- Really? Why is that?

478
00:21:31,517 --> 00:21:32,951
Because I fire you first! That's right.

479
00:21:32,986 --> 00:21:35,153
I don't care how much
business you bring in.

480
00:21:35,187 --> 00:21:37,956
You're an emotional fucking
albatross, Rick Springfield,

481
00:21:37,991 --> 00:21:39,124
and I'm through with you!

482
00:21:39,158 --> 00:21:40,742
Charlie, perspective.

483
00:21:40,793 --> 00:21:44,529
You wanna go back to slinging
beemers in the Valley?

484
00:21:49,752 --> 00:21:51,536
Maybe I got carried away.

485
00:21:51,554 --> 00:21:53,922
- What I meant to say is...
- Ha ha ha ha.

486
00:21:53,973 --> 00:21:57,009
No, no, no, no. It's too late, fucker.

487
00:21:57,043 --> 00:21:58,310
You're dead to me.

488
00:21:58,344 --> 00:21:59,928
And you can tell that old cooze Collini

489
00:21:59,979 --> 00:22:01,563
that the whole Harry Greenberg agency

490
00:22:01,598 --> 00:22:03,214
is fuckin' dead to me too.

491
00:22:03,232 --> 00:22:04,933
Fuck you!

492
00:22:04,984 --> 00:22:08,219
And... and fuck your Z3
and fuck your dumb bald head

493
00:22:08,237 --> 00:22:10,739
and your small, shitty life!

494
00:22:10,773 --> 00:22:13,191
Now, gimme my blow and
get the fuck outta here!

495
00:22:13,225 --> 00:22:14,610
Gladly.

496
00:22:14,661 --> 00:22:17,029
Oh! Ah!

497
00:22:17,063 --> 00:22:19,164
Shit! What the fuck?

498
00:22:21,784 --> 00:22:23,735
Like your dream crush now, Marcy?

499
00:22:23,753 --> 00:22:25,037
Damn it!

500
00:22:25,071 --> 00:22:27,906
It's like watching a figure skater fall.

501
00:22:27,924 --> 00:22:30,742
Come on, baby, let's go.
We're getting out of here.

502
00:22:44,590 --> 00:22:47,776
Incoming, boom, boom.

503
00:22:47,810 --> 00:22:51,113
Boom! And the little bird said...

504
00:22:51,147 --> 00:22:52,864
Dad!

505
00:22:52,899 --> 00:22:54,533
Oh! Oh, yes.

506
00:22:54,567 --> 00:22:56,568
I thought you hated Chelsea.

507
00:22:56,602 --> 00:22:58,937
Well, since when did
you care what I think?

508
00:22:58,955 --> 00:23:02,273
Anyway, the point is to
say what you wanted to say.

509
00:23:02,291 --> 00:23:04,743
Come on.

510
00:23:06,779 --> 00:23:08,296
Knock, knock.

511
00:23:08,331 --> 00:23:10,782
Don't be afraid. We come in peace.

512
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:12,718
Hello! Chelsea!

513
00:23:12,752 --> 00:23:15,554
Look who's here! Come on in.

514
00:23:15,588 --> 00:23:16,922
- I see.
- Thank you.

515
00:23:16,956 --> 00:23:19,057
I'm just not sure I give a shit.

516
00:23:19,092 --> 00:23:20,892
I guess that's what passes for a welcome

517
00:23:20,927 --> 00:23:22,460
around here these days.

518
00:23:22,645 --> 00:23:25,097
I just came to say I'm sorry

519
00:23:25,131 --> 00:23:27,632
for punching you in the face.

520
00:23:27,650 --> 00:23:29,818
And calling you a stupid twat.

521
00:23:29,852 --> 00:23:33,572
- I was highly emotional.
- Aw, look at that.

522
00:23:33,606 --> 00:23:36,808
Rapprochement... it's my
favorite part of any war.

523
00:23:36,826 --> 00:23:39,911
Why don't you and Becca
go up to your room?

524
00:23:39,946 --> 00:23:42,447
It's not necessary, okay, dad?

525
00:23:42,481 --> 00:23:44,249
- I'll finish dinner.
- It's fine.

526
00:23:44,283 --> 00:23:46,251
Now, if you two don't mind,

527
00:23:46,285 --> 00:23:49,504
I'm enjoying some quality
time with my dad...

528
00:23:49,539 --> 00:23:52,290
before he checks into
the heartbreak hotel.

529
00:23:52,324 --> 00:23:55,260
We know. We've been there already.

530
00:23:55,294 --> 00:23:57,495
Oh, come on, now, you don't
have to make it sound so dour.

531
00:23:57,513 --> 00:24:00,265
Well, that's a nice try,
but you want my opinion?

532
00:24:00,299 --> 00:24:02,100
It's so much better not to lie to them,

533
00:24:02,135 --> 00:24:04,803
because they kinda know
when things are shitty.

534
00:24:04,837 --> 00:24:06,938
I... I don't know that
things are all that...

535
00:24:06,973 --> 00:24:09,641
They're shitty, dad. Face it.

536
00:24:09,675 --> 00:24:11,676
All thanks to you know who.

537
00:24:11,694 --> 00:24:15,480
Look, it'd be nice if we could
blame Hank for all of this,

538
00:24:15,531 --> 00:24:17,015
but the fact of the matter is,

539
00:24:17,033 --> 00:24:18,700
it's just... it's more
complicated than that.

540
00:24:18,735 --> 00:24:21,536
I'm not talking about
Hank. I'm talking about mom.

541
00:24:21,571 --> 00:24:24,623
She's making a complete ass of herself.

542
00:24:24,657 --> 00:24:26,458
Well, that's true.

543
00:24:26,492 --> 00:24:27,542
I'm going to my room.

544
00:24:27,577 --> 00:24:29,360
That's where I'll be, in case,

545
00:24:29,378 --> 00:24:33,081
I don't know, you want to
apologize further or something.

546
00:24:35,084 --> 00:24:37,135
You know, I'm sure she doesn't mean it.

547
00:24:37,170 --> 00:24:39,554
Go on. Take a shot.

548
00:24:41,174 --> 00:24:43,391
You'll be okay.

549
00:24:51,184 --> 00:24:53,068
You know how we could really get back

550
00:24:53,102 --> 00:24:56,738
at those significant others
of ours, the two of us?

551
00:24:56,739 --> 00:24:58,523
If we made love...

552
00:24:58,557 --> 00:25:01,526
that would really piss 'em off.

553
00:25:01,577 --> 00:25:03,394
- Huh?
- Oh, wow.

554
00:25:03,412 --> 00:25:05,197
- Becca!
- Too soon?

555
00:25:05,231 --> 00:25:07,365
You're right. It's too soon.

556
00:25:07,283 --> 00:25:09,067
My heart needs to heal.

557
00:25:09,085 --> 00:25:11,753
Hell, I'm not even sure
the little dean is up to it,

558
00:25:11,788 --> 00:25:13,338
you know.

559
00:25:13,372 --> 00:25:16,925
- How 'bout a glass of wine?
- Sold.

560
00:25:16,959 --> 00:25:19,410
Free at last!

561
00:25:19,428 --> 00:25:21,263
You know, the air, it just smells better

562
00:25:21,264 --> 00:25:22,714
after you've been in the big house.

563
00:25:22,748 --> 00:25:24,266
Thanks for doing this, by the way.

564
00:25:24,300 --> 00:25:25,550
I can't believe you didn't have

565
00:25:25,584 --> 00:25:27,435
anything better to do with your evening.

566
00:25:27,470 --> 00:25:29,888
Couldn't very well let
you rot in there, could I?

567
00:25:29,922 --> 00:25:31,439
Well, it's been done.

568
00:25:31,474 --> 00:25:33,475
Well, I'm the one who
made the brilliant mistake

569
00:25:33,526 --> 00:25:35,360
- of hiring you.
- Yes, you did.

570
00:25:35,394 --> 00:25:37,262
And I never give up on
my brilliant mistakes.

571
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:38,930
I see them through to the bitter end.

572
00:25:38,948 --> 00:25:40,064
Is that where we are?

573
00:25:40,116 --> 00:25:41,616
Because I... I knew
I recognized the place.

574
00:25:41,651 --> 00:25:43,952
I don't regret any of it, you know,

575
00:25:43,986 --> 00:25:47,956
despite the humiliation,
gossiping in the department,

576
00:25:47,990 --> 00:25:49,491
or the end of my marriage.

577
00:25:49,542 --> 00:25:52,077
Shit. You gonna go through
with this divorce thing?

578
00:25:52,111 --> 00:25:54,079
Sure. It's a wonderful
feeling, you know,

579
00:25:54,113 --> 00:25:55,797
once you realize that
it's all behind you...

580
00:25:55,832 --> 00:25:59,050
all that bitterness
and anguish and torment.

581
00:25:59,085 --> 00:26:00,552
Mm.

582
00:26:00,586 --> 00:26:02,587
I don't know, I, uh...  I've been there.

583
00:26:02,621 --> 00:26:04,622
I have. But it wasn't like that for me.

584
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:06,174
It was more like having

585
00:26:06,225 --> 00:26:09,261
a giant hole ripped in my universe.

586
00:26:09,295 --> 00:26:11,629
Yeah, but you never
actually let go, did you?

587
00:26:11,647 --> 00:26:13,464
It's the pain that
holds people together,

588
00:26:13,482 --> 00:26:15,350
the need to hurt one another.

589
00:26:15,401 --> 00:26:17,018
Once that's gone, there's nothing left.

590
00:26:17,069 --> 00:26:18,687
Nothing worth saving, anyway.

591
00:26:18,738 --> 00:26:21,072
I don't accept that.
Where's the love, lady?

592
00:26:21,107 --> 00:26:23,525
- The love?
- Yes. Where it be located?

593
00:26:23,576 --> 00:26:25,360
To misquote a '70s soul classic.

594
00:26:25,411 --> 00:26:27,612
Don't make me go Roberta
Flack on your ass.

595
00:26:27,646 --> 00:26:29,831
That's love, torturing each other?

596
00:26:29,866 --> 00:26:31,283
Half in, half out?

597
00:26:31,317 --> 00:26:33,318
Torture. That sounds like love to me.

598
00:26:33,336 --> 00:26:35,086
Well, you go on believing
that if you like.

599
00:26:35,121 --> 00:26:37,589
I like. That shit's romantic.

600
00:26:37,623 --> 00:26:39,624
I've had quite enough
torture for one lifetime.

601
00:26:39,658 --> 00:26:42,427
Ohh, enough with doing the right thing.

602
00:26:42,461 --> 00:26:44,763
I never thought you'd be
one of those types, you know?

603
00:26:44,964 --> 00:26:46,381
The ones who suffer in silence.

604
00:26:46,432 --> 00:26:48,884
No, I'm not. I... I suffer very loudly.

605
00:26:48,935 --> 00:26:50,685
You should try it sometime.

606
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:52,003
No, thanks.

607
00:26:52,021 --> 00:26:53,889
From now on, I'd just rather be happy.

608
00:26:53,940 --> 00:26:55,506
So that's it?

609
00:26:55,524 --> 00:26:57,142
You discovered the key to happiness

610
00:26:57,176 --> 00:26:58,676
in one short semester?

611
00:26:58,694 --> 00:27:02,063
Well, I did have a little help.

612
00:27:02,114 --> 00:27:05,317
Thanks, Professor.

613
00:27:05,351 --> 00:27:06,952
You know if you ever decide

614
00:27:06,986 --> 00:27:09,321
to rethink that philosophy of yours,

615
00:27:09,355 --> 00:27:10,855
let me know.

616
00:27:10,873 --> 00:27:12,857
I'll be around.

617
00:27:23,469 --> 00:27:29,705
Sync by honeybunny
- corrected by chamallow35 www.Addic7ed.Com