1
00:00:00,980 --> 00:00:02,364
Previously on Californication...

2
00:00:02,398 --> 00:00:04,149
I'd like to introduce you
to Richard Bates, the writer.

3
00:00:04,183 --> 00:00:05,484
Big fan.

4
00:00:05,518 --> 00:00:07,953
Who wants to see me tuck
and do the pee pee dance?

5
00:00:09,205 --> 00:00:11,573
Whoa!

6
00:00:11,624 --> 00:00:13,875
We're really gonna do
this, sell the place?

7
00:00:13,910 --> 00:00:16,461
- Isn't that what we want?
- Yeah, sure. I guess.

8
00:00:16,496 --> 00:00:18,297
I just want to be done with it already.

9
00:00:18,331 --> 00:00:19,865
I want to sell this fucking house

10
00:00:19,899 --> 00:00:21,249
and get on with the rest of my life.

11
00:00:21,301 --> 00:00:23,468
So what, you're saying
just pack up and leave L.A.?

12
00:00:23,503 --> 00:00:25,420
The three of us move
back to New York together?

13
00:00:25,471 --> 00:00:28,056
Yeah, end of the semester, whatever.

14
00:00:29,759 --> 00:00:31,009
So which one are you sleeping with?

15
00:00:31,043 --> 00:00:32,177
Excuse me?

16
00:00:32,211 --> 00:00:34,513
My bets are on the
young, voluptuous student.

17
00:00:34,547 --> 00:00:36,982
This is so not fair.

18
00:00:37,016 --> 00:00:39,384
I'm in love with you, Hank Moody.

19
00:00:39,402 --> 00:00:40,736
Ho...

20
00:00:40,770 --> 00:00:42,938
I've never stepped outside
of my marriage before.

21
00:00:42,989 --> 00:00:44,489
Please, go.

22
00:00:44,524 --> 00:00:45,524
Oh.

23
00:00:45,558 --> 00:00:46,742
Oh, something must be different.

24
00:00:46,776 --> 00:00:48,610
Oh, that's right. You fucked my wife.

25
00:00:48,661 --> 00:00:49,894
Well, there's that.

26
00:00:49,912 --> 00:00:51,279
- What does that mean?
- It's not my fault.

27
00:00:51,331 --> 00:00:52,614
- You didn't tell her?
- Tell me what?

28
00:00:52,665 --> 00:00:54,700
Becca's father and I had
a slight indiscretion.

29
00:00:54,734 --> 00:00:56,952
She's got to be kidding me, right?

30
00:00:57,003 --> 00:00:59,338
I don't want to hear about
Felicia and her midlife crisis.

31
00:00:59,372 --> 00:01:01,590
Wait, who else has he been fucking?

32
00:01:01,624 --> 00:01:02,624
You're a goddamn girl whisperer.

33
00:01:02,675 --> 00:01:03,925
Okay.

34
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:05,927
I can't believe you
slept with all of them.

35
00:01:05,962 --> 00:01:08,296
- Will you live?
- I'm trying.

36
00:01:08,348 --> 00:01:09,881
Well, that's all anybody can ask for.

37
00:01:09,915 --> 00:01:11,433
Oh, hey, check this out.

38
00:01:11,467 --> 00:01:13,635
Yeah.

39
00:01:25,365 --> 00:01:29,534
Lordy bagordy, we made
some fucking love, woman.

40
00:01:29,569 --> 00:01:31,870
They should put us in the joy of sex...

41
00:01:31,904 --> 00:01:34,206
a nice little pencil
sketch of us doing it.

42
00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:35,374
We're that good.

43
00:01:35,408 --> 00:01:38,377
Who are you right now?

44
00:01:38,411 --> 00:01:41,380
I'm not sensing the
same level of enthusiasm.

45
00:01:41,414 --> 00:01:44,549
Oh, no. I... it was good.

46
00:01:44,584 --> 00:01:46,551
Come to think of it, you
weren't quite as vocal

47
00:01:46,586 --> 00:01:47,803
as you normally are.

48
00:01:47,837 --> 00:01:49,971
I mean, you've never
been a screamer per se,

49
00:01:50,006 --> 00:01:53,392
but I can always count on you
for a little intense moaning.

50
00:01:55,011 --> 00:01:56,795
Hank, stop it.

51
00:01:56,813 --> 00:01:59,398
Thank you. Thank you for that.

52
00:01:59,432 --> 00:02:01,983
A woman does love a reenactment

53
00:02:02,018 --> 00:02:04,236
of the most vulnerable moment.

54
00:02:04,270 --> 00:02:05,821
Oh, baby.

55
00:02:05,855 --> 00:02:08,023
But you got there, right?

56
00:02:09,692 --> 00:02:11,693
Close.

57
00:02:11,744 --> 00:02:14,496
Oh, I see what you're saying.
It was, like, a tiny one.

58
00:02:14,530 --> 00:02:16,164
That happens. That's understandable.

59
00:02:16,199 --> 00:02:17,999
Not so much.

60
00:02:18,034 --> 00:02:19,918
What? Are you serious?

61
00:02:19,952 --> 00:02:21,837
You mean not even a little one,

62
00:02:21,871 --> 00:02:23,672
- like a
micro-orgasm? - No.

63
00:02:23,706 --> 00:02:26,208
Are you sure? Jesus, this is upsetting.

64
00:02:26,259 --> 00:02:28,844
The truth is, Hank,
we've been through some...

65
00:02:28,878 --> 00:02:31,213
we've been through
some really hard times.

66
00:02:31,264 --> 00:02:32,681
- I know that.
- So...

67
00:02:32,715 --> 00:02:36,685
but we've always had
our fire and our passion.

68
00:02:36,719 --> 00:02:39,688
Our beautiful sex organs
don't know about our problems,

69
00:02:39,722 --> 00:02:41,523
and we should definitely
keep them out of it.

70
00:02:41,557 --> 00:02:43,308
You got to give me another
chance to please you, woman.

71
00:02:43,342 --> 00:02:44,643
- No.
- No, no, no, no.

72
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We, we can't. It's too late.

73
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It's not gonna work. No,
there's too much pressure.

74
00:02:48,731 --> 00:02:51,283
Ah! No, no, no. Anyway, we have plans.

75
00:02:51,317 --> 00:02:53,869
It's Saturday. I can do this all day.

76
00:02:53,903 --> 00:02:55,871
Felicia.

77
00:02:55,905 --> 00:02:57,456
- Felicia.
- Your new friend.

78
00:02:57,490 --> 00:02:58,490
- What?
- Yes.

79
00:02:58,524 --> 00:02:59,825
- No.
- She invited us for lunch.

80
00:02:59,859 --> 00:03:01,159
- Oh.
- I know.

81
00:03:01,193 --> 00:03:03,211
- And I had to say yes, because...
- No, you didn't.

82
00:03:03,246 --> 00:03:05,380
God, that woman is so annoying.

83
00:03:05,414 --> 00:03:06,915
She's so irritating. Argh!

84
00:03:06,966 --> 00:03:07,999
Oh, yeah, that's good.

85
00:03:08,033 --> 00:03:10,252
Like that, only louder and deeper.

86
00:03:10,303 --> 00:03:12,003
- I can work with that.
- No, no, no, no, it's over.

87
00:03:12,037 --> 00:03:14,005
- Me love you long time.
- Ah. It's over.

88
00:03:14,039 --> 00:03:15,340
- I got to go.
- Oh...

89
00:03:15,374 --> 00:03:16,508
I got to get ready.

90
00:03:16,542 --> 00:03:19,678
All right. Just give me a moment...

91
00:03:19,712 --> 00:03:23,482
While I talk my
testicles into descending.

92
00:03:26,652 --> 00:03:27,936
Guys?

93
00:03:30,990 --> 00:03:38,997
Sync by honeybunny - corrected by chamallow35
www.addic7ed.com

94
00:04:15,935 --> 00:04:18,537
Wow.

95
00:04:18,571 --> 00:04:20,989
Looks like there's some kind
of a book club or something.

96
00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:22,624
Of a sort.

97
00:04:24,710 --> 00:04:25,994
Oh, dear.

98
00:04:26,045 --> 00:04:28,713
At least it won't be a
dull Saturday afternoon.

99
00:04:28,748 --> 00:04:32,250
Welcome. Hello. Come in.

100
00:04:32,284 --> 00:04:34,252
Oh, you shouldn't have. Thank you.

101
00:04:34,286 --> 00:04:35,921
No, it is you who shouldn't have.

102
00:04:35,955 --> 00:04:38,006
This is quite a surprise.

103
00:04:38,057 --> 00:04:39,841
I think pleasure is the
word you were looking for.

104
00:04:39,892 --> 00:04:41,343
Or surprise.

105
00:04:41,394 --> 00:04:42,644
They all heard that
I was having you over.

106
00:04:42,678 --> 00:04:44,679
Guess the whole ya-ya sisterhood

107
00:04:44,730 --> 00:04:46,014
had to get in on it, huh?

108
00:04:46,065 --> 00:04:48,183
Yeah, well, we can't let you skip town

109
00:04:48,234 --> 00:04:49,601
without a fond farewell.

110
00:04:49,635 --> 00:04:51,519
Oh, yeah, our last class
was very unsatisfying,

111
00:04:51,571 --> 00:04:53,188
since you didn't teach us anything.

112
00:04:53,239 --> 00:04:55,023
Karen? This is Jill.

113
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She was Hank's teaching
assistant this semester,

114
00:04:57,693 --> 00:04:59,494
and that's Jackie.

115
00:04:59,528 --> 00:05:01,363
Hey, Jackie. We... we
met in class, right?

116
00:05:01,414 --> 00:05:03,582
- We were all there...
- in a way.

117
00:05:03,616 --> 00:05:05,450
Why... why don't I come with you guys?

118
00:05:05,484 --> 00:05:07,953
We can hang out, try on some lip gloss,

119
00:05:07,987 --> 00:05:09,120
you know, sparkly?

120
00:05:09,154 --> 00:05:10,422
You made your bed.

121
00:05:10,456 --> 00:05:13,375
Yeah, and now you're
gonna have to lie in it.

122
00:05:13,426 --> 00:05:14,659
Have fun, Hank.

123
00:05:21,267 --> 00:05:25,003
Wake the fuck up, Runkle.

124
00:05:25,021 --> 00:05:27,472
Open house time.

125
00:05:27,506 --> 00:05:29,173
You know the house won't sell

126
00:05:29,191 --> 00:05:31,676
if we're within five Miles of it.

127
00:05:31,694 --> 00:05:34,012
Give me ten minutes, ten minutes.

128
00:05:34,030 --> 00:05:37,232
Come on! We got to jet.

129
00:05:37,283 --> 00:05:39,851
Buyers can smell our impending divorce

130
00:05:39,869 --> 00:05:41,319
from the freeway.

131
00:05:41,353 --> 00:05:44,022
Coming! I'm coming.

132
00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:45,790
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

133
00:05:45,825 --> 00:05:48,243
Oh, God, you really are coming. Barf.

134
00:05:48,294 --> 00:05:49,828
I told you.

135
00:05:49,862 --> 00:05:50,912
And I told you.

136
00:05:50,963 --> 00:05:53,214
She never fucking listens, am I right?

137
00:05:56,969 --> 00:05:57,919
Hi.

138
00:05:57,970 --> 00:05:59,304
Um, you must be Marcy. I'm...

139
00:05:59,338 --> 00:06:01,640
getting your pants and getting
the fuck out of my house.

140
00:06:01,674 --> 00:06:03,642
Now, please. Thank you.

141
00:06:03,676 --> 00:06:06,227
There's a good girl. Off you go.

142
00:06:06,262 --> 00:06:08,146
Yeah.

143
00:06:08,180 --> 00:06:10,765
I'll call you.

144
00:06:10,816 --> 00:06:13,068
Really? The floor, that's your move?

145
00:06:13,102 --> 00:06:14,402
You said not to mess up the bed

146
00:06:14,437 --> 00:06:15,553
if we're showing the house.

147
00:06:15,571 --> 00:06:17,022
Christ, Runkle!

148
00:06:17,056 --> 00:06:18,907
Oh, I'm sorry she's not
a coke-snorting teen idol

149
00:06:18,941 --> 00:06:20,659
or a big black rapist.

150
00:06:20,693 --> 00:06:22,527
Not everyone can have class up the ass.

151
00:06:22,561 --> 00:06:25,697
No ass, just class.

152
00:06:29,201 --> 00:06:30,335
Oh, my God.

153
00:06:30,369 --> 00:06:32,671
I could take the
stubbornness, really I could,

154
00:06:32,705 --> 00:06:35,206
and the substance abuse and the lateness

155
00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,459
and the "cooler than school
and all the rest of us

156
00:06:37,510 --> 00:06:38,593
ne'er do well" attitude,

157
00:06:38,627 --> 00:06:40,929
but the thing that absolutely got me

158
00:06:40,963 --> 00:06:44,265
was the unwarranted advice
about my biological clock.

159
00:06:44,300 --> 00:06:48,186
Oh, but, you know, he's
fully qualified to do that,

160
00:06:48,220 --> 00:06:50,105
because he has such a deep understanding

161
00:06:50,139 --> 00:06:51,222
of womanhood.

162
00:06:51,256 --> 00:06:52,857
- Shouldn't you be defending me?
- Yes!

163
00:06:52,892 --> 00:06:54,642
You, talking up my good points?

164
00:06:54,694 --> 00:06:56,528
Well, yeah, I will later.

165
00:06:56,562 --> 00:06:58,530
Right now I'm really enjoying

166
00:06:58,564 --> 00:07:02,033
this kind of appraisal of
your little idiosyncrasies,

167
00:07:02,068 --> 00:07:04,619
you know, the things
that I have grown to know

168
00:07:04,653 --> 00:07:06,121
and love about you.

169
00:07:06,155 --> 00:07:07,906
Yeah, well, the cracks...
that's how the light gets in.

170
00:07:07,940 --> 00:07:09,791
More pimm's, anyone?

171
00:07:09,825 --> 00:07:11,109
Oh, yeah, hit me with that.

172
00:07:11,127 --> 00:07:13,161
You know, it's not an
act... this whole thing.

173
00:07:13,212 --> 00:07:15,630
I'm... I'm very sensitive to
the pain and suffering of women.

174
00:07:15,664 --> 00:07:17,966
I listen to them. I'm
aware of that shit.

175
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,335
- Okay, yeah, that's true.
- Yeah, thank you.

176
00:07:20,386 --> 00:07:22,754
In his defense, I must
say that he paid me

177
00:07:22,788 --> 00:07:24,672
tons of special attention in class.

178
00:07:24,724 --> 00:07:25,840
Not special.

179
00:07:25,891 --> 00:07:28,259
No, Jackie. He did not.

180
00:07:28,293 --> 00:07:30,311
Jackie's writing's actually very good.

181
00:07:30,346 --> 00:07:32,147
I... I read some of her
short stories, darling.

182
00:07:32,181 --> 00:07:33,848
- You have.
- Yeah, sure I have.

183
00:07:33,899 --> 00:07:35,400
I had to write her a recommendation

184
00:07:35,434 --> 00:07:36,818
to the graduate writing program.

185
00:07:36,852 --> 00:07:38,319
She couldn't very well ask you.

186
00:07:38,354 --> 00:07:40,655
Hey, when is luncheon gonna be served?

187
00:07:40,689 --> 00:07:42,323
That's why we're here, right?

188
00:07:42,358 --> 00:07:43,658
And I'm curious.

189
00:07:43,692 --> 00:07:45,827
I want to know how it's
different from actual lunch.

190
00:07:45,861 --> 00:07:49,414
Well, we have one last
guest, who's a late arrival.

191
00:07:49,448 --> 00:07:50,832
Oh, here's the latecomer now.

192
00:07:50,866 --> 00:07:53,168
It's not a lady. Please say not a lady.

193
00:07:53,202 --> 00:07:55,920
- Mm...
- Oh, my...

194
00:07:55,955 --> 00:07:57,872
is that Richard Bates?

195
00:07:57,923 --> 00:07:59,924
Yeah, Richard Bates, crack
the sky, you know him?

196
00:07:59,959 --> 00:08:02,343
- Know him?
- Yeah.

197
00:08:02,378 --> 00:08:04,045
Karen, is that you?

198
00:08:04,096 --> 00:08:05,346
Richard.

199
00:08:05,381 --> 00:08:08,299
Oh, my God, you look exactly the same.

200
00:08:08,333 --> 00:08:10,635
Exactly the same as what exactly?

201
00:08:10,669 --> 00:08:12,637
- I mean, even more beautiful.
- My God.

202
00:08:12,671 --> 00:08:14,973
I can picture you right
now standing under the arch

203
00:08:15,007 --> 00:08:17,776
in Washington Square park,
wind blowing your hair.

204
00:08:17,810 --> 00:08:19,944
And you blowing me off, you asshole.

205
00:08:19,979 --> 00:08:22,147
Oh, asshole...  I like
where this is going,

206
00:08:22,181 --> 00:08:23,948
him being an asshole and all,

207
00:08:23,983 --> 00:08:27,035
but you want to fill me in on
the... the rest of this shit?

208
00:08:27,069 --> 00:08:28,820
- Oh, my g... you gave me a "c."
- Oh, please.

209
00:08:28,854 --> 00:08:30,538
I mean, like, when you
sleep with your professor,

210
00:08:30,573 --> 00:08:33,208
isn't that, like, you're
meant to get a "b"?

211
00:08:33,242 --> 00:08:35,627
Hey, what, you slept with him?

212
00:08:35,661 --> 00:08:36,878
The glorious "mangina" here?

213
00:08:36,912 --> 00:08:38,746
This is my professor
that I had an affair with

214
00:08:38,798 --> 00:08:39,964
as an undergraduate.

215
00:08:39,999 --> 00:08:42,300
I mean, I know it's,
like, 100 years ago.

216
00:08:42,334 --> 00:08:44,836
You know, it feels just like yesterday.

217
00:08:44,870 --> 00:08:46,004
Worst day of my life.

218
00:08:46,038 --> 00:08:48,173
- God, you look great.
- Thank you.

219
00:08:48,207 --> 00:08:50,341
Well, you're not with
Bush league here, are you?

220
00:08:50,375 --> 00:08:51,593
- Oh...
- fuck, yeah, she...is.

221
00:08:51,644 --> 00:08:55,180
- Well, kind of.
- Really?

222
00:08:55,214 --> 00:08:56,981
What?

223
00:08:57,016 --> 00:08:59,517
No, do... don't keep secrets
from the rest of the class.

224
00:08:59,551 --> 00:09:01,519
You planted the seed...
that writer thing,

225
00:09:01,553 --> 00:09:03,771
my attraction to writers.

226
00:09:03,823 --> 00:09:06,274
Oh, hey, hey, hey. Have a drink.

227
00:09:07,660 --> 00:09:09,994
How'd you snag her, anyway...

228
00:09:10,029 --> 00:09:12,080
the old "I'm an agent" spiel?

229
00:09:12,114 --> 00:09:15,033
Hey, it's not a spiel. I'm an agent.

230
00:09:15,067 --> 00:09:17,502
She has a dream, she's a waitress.

231
00:09:17,536 --> 00:09:19,537
In your language,
waitress means stripper.

232
00:09:19,571 --> 00:09:20,705
She's a stripper.

233
00:09:20,739 --> 00:09:21,906
No, no, no.

234
00:09:21,924 --> 00:09:24,092
She is a cocktail
waitress with a screenplay.

235
00:09:24,126 --> 00:09:26,127
Okay, okay.

236
00:09:26,178 --> 00:09:27,962
An idea for a screenplay.

237
00:09:28,013 --> 00:09:30,014
Still, I see potential, and I just...

238
00:09:30,049 --> 00:09:32,550
Oh, please. You see blow job.

239
00:09:32,584 --> 00:09:36,020
Do I detect a note of jealousy?

240
00:09:36,055 --> 00:09:37,805
Mm.

241
00:09:37,857 --> 00:09:40,475
Like I could be jealous of
a food-service professional

242
00:09:40,526 --> 00:09:43,111
with an idea for a screenplay

243
00:09:43,145 --> 00:09:44,279
and her boobs.

244
00:09:44,313 --> 00:09:45,480
You are.

245
00:09:45,531 --> 00:09:47,649
Marcy Runkle is jealous.

246
00:09:47,700 --> 00:09:49,317
I never thought I'd see the day.

247
00:09:49,368 --> 00:09:51,152
Eh. Go with God.

248
00:09:51,203 --> 00:09:53,621
I got mine. It's only
right you get yours.

249
00:09:53,656 --> 00:09:57,325
Hey, Marcy, I have said all along

250
00:09:57,376 --> 00:09:59,827
I still love you.

251
00:09:59,879 --> 00:10:01,579
It's not what you say, Charlie.

252
00:10:01,613 --> 00:10:02,997
What do you mean?

253
00:10:03,048 --> 00:10:04,832
It's out of sight, out of mind.

254
00:10:04,884 --> 00:10:06,668
See Marcy, want Marcy.

255
00:10:06,719 --> 00:10:09,220
No see Marcy, want boobies.

256
00:10:11,674 --> 00:10:13,791
Really? Still?

257
00:10:13,809 --> 00:10:16,460
Jesus fuck, I forgot
to change my ringtone.

258
00:10:16,478 --> 00:10:17,628
Please allow me.

259
00:10:17,646 --> 00:10:20,515
Eat my bent wang, Rick Springfield.

260
00:10:20,566 --> 00:10:23,017
Wait, get that. It's Sharon.

261
00:10:23,068 --> 00:10:24,018
Oh.

262
00:10:24,069 --> 00:10:26,487
Sharon.

263
00:10:26,522 --> 00:10:27,972
Mm-hmm.

264
00:10:27,990 --> 00:10:29,473
You're shitting me.

265
00:10:29,491 --> 00:10:30,858
Yeah.

266
00:10:34,113 --> 00:10:35,246
We have an offer.

267
00:10:35,281 --> 00:10:38,199
Oh!

268
00:10:38,250 --> 00:10:39,701
Where were you off
to when you dumped me?

269
00:10:39,752 --> 00:10:40,702
Was it Nepal?

270
00:10:40,753 --> 00:10:43,121
It was Egypt.

271
00:10:43,155 --> 00:10:45,373
You know, I etched your name in stone

272
00:10:45,424 --> 00:10:46,674
atop the pyramid at Giza.

273
00:10:46,709 --> 00:10:49,010
- I wish that were true.
- Bullshit!

274
00:10:49,044 --> 00:10:50,094
Jesus Christ.

275
00:10:50,129 --> 00:10:51,679
Staying home is very nice too.

276
00:10:51,714 --> 00:10:53,214
It's cozy.

277
00:10:53,265 --> 00:10:55,166
You don't need a passport, no shots.

278
00:10:55,184 --> 00:10:56,384
So overall you would recommend

279
00:10:56,435 --> 00:10:58,937
the experience of
sleeping with your teacher?

280
00:10:58,971 --> 00:11:00,671
You see that? You see
what you've gone and done?

281
00:11:00,689 --> 00:11:02,173
You've set a bad example, woman.

282
00:11:02,191 --> 00:11:03,441
You were just so sexy.

283
00:11:03,475 --> 00:11:05,026
You know, I can't exactly be judgmental,

284
00:11:05,060 --> 00:11:07,845
because that is how I
met Chelsea's father.

285
00:11:07,863 --> 00:11:09,513
I was in graduate school,

286
00:11:09,531 --> 00:11:12,533
and I took one of his
ridiculous civil war classes.

287
00:11:12,568 --> 00:11:13,684
Loved to teach,

288
00:11:13,702 --> 00:11:15,519
you know, so passionate
about what he was doing.

289
00:11:15,537 --> 00:11:16,520
That's it.

290
00:11:16,538 --> 00:11:18,022
You were so passionate.

291
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:19,741
That... that's what turns me on.

292
00:11:19,792 --> 00:11:22,243
- I just... the passion...
- Yes, but that kind of passion,

293
00:11:22,294 --> 00:11:23,694
that burns you out.

294
00:11:23,712 --> 00:11:26,197
That kind of intensity, no bueno.

295
00:11:26,215 --> 00:11:28,082
Look at him. He's not burnt out.

296
00:11:28,133 --> 00:11:30,368
The man had a serious
breakdown recently.

297
00:11:30,386 --> 00:11:34,422
Public nudity and singing.

298
00:11:34,473 --> 00:11:35,840
Smuggling Dr. Johnson.

299
00:11:35,874 --> 00:11:38,542
Oh, my poor love. I'm so sorry.

300
00:11:38,560 --> 00:11:39,560
Don't be.

301
00:11:39,595 --> 00:11:41,045
Truthfully, it was the best thing

302
00:11:41,063 --> 00:11:42,546
that's happened to me in years.

303
00:11:42,564 --> 00:11:44,382
For a man to be just broken down

304
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:47,435
to his most naked, most vulnerable self.

305
00:11:47,486 --> 00:11:49,153
Mm-hmm.

306
00:11:49,188 --> 00:11:51,155
Just stripped of all irony, all vanity.

307
00:11:51,190 --> 00:11:52,774
I mean, I don't think I've ever been

308
00:11:52,825 --> 00:11:55,827
so deeply in touch
with my feminine side.

309
00:11:55,861 --> 00:11:57,028
Oh, my God, that's beautiful.

310
00:11:57,062 --> 00:11:58,562
No, it wasn't. It was queer.

311
00:11:58,580 --> 00:12:01,282
A... and not queer as in
gay... it was queer as in odd.

312
00:12:01,333 --> 00:12:02,950
Downright lunatic, as a matter of fact.

313
00:12:03,002 --> 00:12:05,670
And I had to step in
for him at that point

314
00:12:05,704 --> 00:12:08,172
with my passion, my intensity,

315
00:12:08,207 --> 00:12:10,341
'cause I'm all about that stuff.

316
00:12:10,376 --> 00:12:11,793
Yeah, the guy who once fell asleep

317
00:12:11,844 --> 00:12:13,761
- during his own lecture.
- One time...

318
00:12:13,796 --> 00:12:15,013
I did that one time.

319
00:12:15,047 --> 00:12:17,015
I was boring myself, and I thought

320
00:12:17,049 --> 00:12:19,750
it was an honest reaction
to actually fall asleep.

321
00:12:19,768 --> 00:12:21,102
Well, Moody, word on the street

322
00:12:21,136 --> 00:12:22,854
is you couldn't teach your
way out of a paper bag.

323
00:12:22,888 --> 00:12:24,772
Where'd you hear that?

324
00:12:24,807 --> 00:12:26,557
Oh, I may have lobbed
a few random emails

325
00:12:26,591 --> 00:12:27,725
here and there.

326
00:12:27,759 --> 00:12:29,477
Moody!

327
00:12:30,696 --> 00:12:32,864
That sounds like Stacy. That's odd.

328
00:12:32,898 --> 00:12:36,317
Justice will be served!

329
00:12:37,820 --> 00:12:39,103
Oh, dear.

330
00:12:39,121 --> 00:12:41,372
Ladies.

331
00:12:41,407 --> 00:12:43,207
Moody.

332
00:12:43,242 --> 00:12:45,960
I demand satisfaction.

333
00:12:45,994 --> 00:12:49,630
Well, General Sherman,
nice of you to join us.

334
00:12:49,665 --> 00:12:51,549
William Tecumseh Sherman, no.

335
00:12:51,583 --> 00:12:53,885
Yet another sign of
your blazing ignorance.

336
00:12:53,919 --> 00:12:56,721
No, Major General George Henry Thomas,

337
00:12:56,755 --> 00:12:59,557
- rock of Chickamauga.
- Oh.

338
00:12:59,591 --> 00:13:01,092
Well, pleased to make your acquaintance.

339
00:13:01,126 --> 00:13:02,793
I don't know whether to shake your hand

340
00:13:02,811 --> 00:13:05,179
or to...  your sword or...

341
00:13:05,230 --> 00:13:06,814
the day of reckoning is at hand.

342
00:13:06,849 --> 00:13:08,733
It's time for you to
answer for your sins.

343
00:13:08,767 --> 00:13:11,152
You and I will duel on this fine day...

344
00:13:11,186 --> 00:13:13,154
Like men!

345
00:13:13,188 --> 00:13:15,356
- Ah. Men of what century?

346
00:13:15,407 --> 00:13:17,308
Dear God, he's completely blotto.

347
00:13:17,326 --> 00:13:19,160
How can you tell?

348
00:13:19,194 --> 00:13:21,162
He must have gone out drinking
with those reenactment people.

349
00:13:21,196 --> 00:13:23,481
- You mock me?
- Guilty.

350
00:13:23,499 --> 00:13:25,750
I challenge you to a duel,
and this is how you respond?

351
00:13:25,784 --> 00:13:27,668
Personally, I love a good duel.

352
00:13:27,703 --> 00:13:29,670
Bates!

353
00:13:29,705 --> 00:13:32,507
You're back and looking good.

354
00:13:32,541 --> 00:13:35,659
Let's go, Moody. You've defiled my wife.

355
00:13:35,677 --> 00:13:37,495
You've brought dishonor to this house,

356
00:13:37,513 --> 00:13:39,097
the university.

357
00:13:39,131 --> 00:13:40,214
I'll stand for it no more.

358
00:13:40,265 --> 00:13:43,334
And get your filthy
car out of my driveway.

359
00:13:43,352 --> 00:13:44,352
Stacy.

360
00:13:44,386 --> 00:13:46,020
Stacy, you might want to rest up.

361
00:13:46,054 --> 00:13:47,838
Hank doesn't want to play these games.

362
00:13:47,856 --> 00:13:49,056
No, Hank don't want to play.

363
00:13:49,108 --> 00:13:50,508
They always lose, you see.

364
00:13:50,526 --> 00:13:52,360
The union army gets defeated
at the battle of chickamauga,

365
00:13:52,394 --> 00:13:53,694
and then they go out drinking.

366
00:13:53,729 --> 00:13:55,196
He held until nightfall,

367
00:13:55,230 --> 00:13:57,698
preventing an even greater union defeat.

368
00:13:57,733 --> 00:13:59,567
How? Because General Thomas

369
00:13:59,618 --> 00:14:01,519
refused to surrender Horseshoe Ridge.

370
00:14:01,537 --> 00:14:03,488
Was he the flashiest civil war general?

371
00:14:03,522 --> 00:14:05,323
No.

372
00:14:05,357 --> 00:14:07,208
Did he impress the ladies?

373
00:14:07,242 --> 00:14:08,326
Hmm?

374
00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:09,860
Was he a highly functioning alcoholic

375
00:14:09,878 --> 00:14:12,213
like ulysses s. Grant?

376
00:14:12,247 --> 00:14:14,332
Maybe.

377
00:14:16,535 --> 00:14:18,753
You know, you might want
to play along with him.

378
00:14:18,804 --> 00:14:19,921
What?

379
00:14:19,972 --> 00:14:22,423
And let him bust civil
war-era cap in my ass?

380
00:14:22,474 --> 00:14:23,641
I don't think so.

381
00:14:23,675 --> 00:14:25,176
No, no, no, no, they're harmless.

382
00:14:25,210 --> 00:14:27,011
They're... they're just
blanks. You won't feel anything.

383
00:14:27,045 --> 00:14:29,096
Yes!

384
00:14:29,148 --> 00:14:30,314
General?

385
00:14:30,349 --> 00:14:32,266
I'll be waiting in the field of valor.

386
00:14:34,219 --> 00:14:37,321
For love and honor!

387
00:14:37,356 --> 00:14:38,990
It's really quite fun.

388
00:14:41,493 --> 00:14:44,662
We're gonna sell this house.

389
00:14:45,914 --> 00:14:46,948
To moving on.

390
00:14:46,999 --> 00:14:49,116
And to my favorite roommate.

391
00:14:49,168 --> 00:14:50,501
Aw.

392
00:14:50,536 --> 00:14:53,204
And just think, we don't
have to be roommates anymore.

393
00:14:53,238 --> 00:14:55,039
You can fuck whoever you want,

394
00:14:55,073 --> 00:14:56,574
- however you want.
- Whoo!

395
00:14:56,592 --> 00:14:59,544
Cowgirl, reverse cowgirl,
downward facing dog,

396
00:14:59,578 --> 00:15:00,795
whatevs.

397
00:15:00,846 --> 00:15:02,413
I think that's a yoga term.

398
00:15:02,431 --> 00:15:05,132
It is both a sex term and a yoga term.

399
00:15:05,184 --> 00:15:06,634
I learned that from Rick Springfield.

400
00:15:06,685 --> 00:15:09,604
Please don't tell me any more.

401
00:15:09,638 --> 00:15:10,805
That's the beauty of it.

402
00:15:10,856 --> 00:15:13,307
I fuck who I want,
you fuck who you want,

403
00:15:13,358 --> 00:15:15,860
and we don't have to
discuss the details.

404
00:15:15,894 --> 00:15:17,311
I don't have to hear all your shit

405
00:15:17,362 --> 00:15:19,647
about your pieces of class up the ass.

406
00:15:19,698 --> 00:15:21,765
You know, not to go back on this,

407
00:15:21,783 --> 00:15:23,985
but you actually did
offer me the ass one time,

408
00:15:24,036 --> 00:15:25,987
right here in this very living room.

409
00:15:26,038 --> 00:15:27,371
What was I thinking?

410
00:15:27,406 --> 00:15:28,656
Dr. Drew says you could get

411
00:15:28,707 --> 00:15:30,608
a prolapsed anus from that shit.

412
00:15:31,710 --> 00:15:33,711
Once you hit 80, your ass is like,

413
00:15:33,745 --> 00:15:35,830
"why did you have to take it
in the pooper that one time?

414
00:15:35,881 --> 00:15:38,499
Now you're gonna have to carry
me around with you all day."

415
00:15:38,550 --> 00:15:41,719
Oh, oh, oh. And right over here, huh?

416
00:15:41,753 --> 00:15:43,721
The year that I got
that UTK bonus, remember?

417
00:15:43,755 --> 00:15:46,807
I came in. I bent you
over the couch and...

418
00:15:46,842 --> 00:15:49,310
and gave me the worst back
pain I've ever experienced.

419
00:15:49,344 --> 00:15:51,178
- Ha ha!

420
00:15:51,230 --> 00:15:53,014
For years, I had a man
who liked to take it

421
00:15:53,065 --> 00:15:55,816
out of the comfortable
bedroom, take it on the road.

422
00:15:55,851 --> 00:15:58,319
- Great.
- That's right.

423
00:15:58,353 --> 00:16:00,655
Wow.

424
00:16:00,689 --> 00:16:03,574
We really have humped all
over this house, haven't we?

425
00:16:03,609 --> 00:16:05,326
Remember the kitchen-counter encounter?

426
00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:07,978
- Best night of my life.
- Not mine.

427
00:16:07,996 --> 00:16:11,482
Days later, I was still
finding crumbs in my folds.

428
00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:13,200
What about the powder room?

429
00:16:13,252 --> 00:16:16,254
- We never did it there.
- That's true.

430
00:16:16,288 --> 00:16:17,755
There's one room in this house

431
00:16:17,789 --> 00:16:20,124
that was spared our unholy alliance.

432
00:16:20,158 --> 00:16:21,342
Okay, let's go.

433
00:16:21,376 --> 00:16:23,044
- Let's go, come on, come on.
- Where? What?

434
00:16:23,095 --> 00:16:24,995
We can't leave one room uninitiated.

435
00:16:25,013 --> 00:16:26,213
Charlie, we're moving on.

436
00:16:26,265 --> 00:16:27,632
We cannot leave that room pristine,

437
00:16:27,666 --> 00:16:29,500
because that would be a
tragedy, and this is a happy day.

438
00:16:29,518 --> 00:16:30,501
- Let's go.
- What?

439
00:16:30,519 --> 00:16:32,002
- You move it, schoolgirl.
- No.

440
00:16:32,020 --> 00:16:33,337
You... come on, let's go. Let's go.

441
00:16:33,355 --> 00:16:34,672
No, you can't tell me what to do.

442
00:16:34,690 --> 00:16:36,274
Daddy's coming, yah-hah!

443
00:16:36,308 --> 00:16:37,858
You sure these aren't actually loaded?

444
00:16:37,893 --> 00:16:39,677
Oh, just pick one, Moody.

445
00:16:39,695 --> 00:16:41,679
So ten paces and then turn?

446
00:16:41,697 --> 00:16:43,114
I don't believe I have ever met

447
00:16:43,148 --> 00:16:44,682
a bigger pussy in my life.

448
00:16:44,700 --> 00:16:46,734
You slept with the
man's wife, didn't you?

449
00:16:46,785 --> 00:16:48,619
The code of honor demands it.

450
00:16:48,654 --> 00:16:50,454
What do you know about honor,

451
00:16:50,489 --> 00:16:51,956
- you numb nuts?
- Silence.

452
00:16:51,990 --> 00:16:54,024
I'll have none of that filthy
talk on this field of valor.

453
00:16:54,042 --> 00:16:55,793
My bad.

454
00:16:55,827 --> 00:16:57,078
This is quite fun, Chels, isn't it?

455
00:16:57,129 --> 00:16:58,529
Reminds me of the good old days

456
00:16:58,547 --> 00:17:00,047
when we used to follow
your father around

457
00:17:00,082 --> 00:17:01,532
from battlefield to battlefield.

458
00:17:01,550 --> 00:17:03,634
Ladies...

459
00:17:03,669 --> 00:17:06,053
- Come on.
- Start your egos.

460
00:17:08,340 --> 00:17:11,041
Oh, for fuck's sake,
Moody, stop fucking around.

461
00:17:11,059 --> 00:17:12,476
Come on!

462
00:17:12,511 --> 00:17:14,378
Huh!

463
00:17:14,396 --> 00:17:17,148
Come on, let's do this thing.

464
00:17:17,182 --> 00:17:18,733
- Come on.
- Come on, let's go.

465
00:17:18,767 --> 00:17:20,434
There, stand there.

466
00:17:20,485 --> 00:17:21,902
I hope dad shoots him
right in between the eyes.

467
00:17:21,937 --> 00:17:23,821
Come on, Moody, you're not
getting out of this one.

468
00:17:23,855 --> 00:17:26,857
I'll let that slide since
this isn't a real duel.

469
00:17:26,891 --> 00:17:31,061
One, two, five, six...

470
00:17:31,079 --> 00:17:33,030
Nine, ten.

471
00:17:34,666 --> 00:17:36,784
Oh, damn it to hell.

472
00:17:36,835 --> 00:17:38,902
Well, Moody, take your shot.

473
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,671
Wait, you want me to shoot you?

474
00:17:40,706 --> 00:17:42,239
Nah, it's all right. I'm good.

475
00:17:42,257 --> 00:17:44,759
Ugh.

476
00:17:44,793 --> 00:17:46,744
Moody, I demand that you shoot me.

477
00:17:46,762 --> 00:17:47,762
Oh, no can do.

478
00:17:47,796 --> 00:17:49,513
This whole thing is way too gay for me.

479
00:17:49,548 --> 00:17:51,248
Hold on a second.

480
00:17:51,266 --> 00:17:54,135
You fucked the man's wife, and
now you refuse to shoot him?

481
00:17:54,186 --> 00:17:56,270
You know something, if
it's all the same to you...

482
00:18:01,893 --> 00:18:04,278
Is this what's supposed to happen?

483
00:18:04,312 --> 00:18:05,780
Cool down, girls.

484
00:18:05,814 --> 00:18:07,448
Ahh.

485
00:18:07,482 --> 00:18:09,450
Ahh.

486
00:18:09,484 --> 00:18:11,202
Well, I guess I deserved that.

487
00:18:13,155 --> 00:18:15,740
I'm sorry. I apologize.

488
00:18:15,774 --> 00:18:16,774
No biggie.

489
00:18:16,792 --> 00:18:19,460
No, it was ungentlemanly of me.

490
00:18:19,494 --> 00:18:22,880
The purpose of a duel
is to fight with honor

491
00:18:22,914 --> 00:18:24,281
and decorum.

492
00:18:24,299 --> 00:18:26,801
Ooh.

493
00:18:26,835 --> 00:18:29,470
Nice one, Dean. That was...

494
00:18:29,504 --> 00:18:31,972
- Oh, you liked that, huh?
- Yes, I did.

495
00:18:32,007 --> 00:18:33,974
Well, you know something?
You offend my honor.

496
00:18:34,009 --> 00:18:35,793
You offend my Lady's honor.

497
00:18:35,811 --> 00:18:36,844
Your Lady?

498
00:18:36,895 --> 00:18:38,896
Are you so sure she's really yours?

499
00:18:38,930 --> 00:18:41,465
Shit, Moody, you couldn't
own a woman like that.

500
00:18:41,483 --> 00:18:43,567
Christ, I still remember the sound

501
00:18:43,602 --> 00:18:45,486
of her approaching climax...

502
00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:47,805
fucking choir of angels.

503
00:18:47,823 --> 00:18:50,191
Ooh!

504
00:18:53,195 --> 00:18:54,812
That's my ass!

505
00:18:54,830 --> 00:18:58,482
I can't tell if they're joking or not.

506
00:19:00,819 --> 00:19:02,152
Got him!

507
00:19:02,170 --> 00:19:04,505
Oh, God, I think they're
actually fighting.

508
00:19:04,539 --> 00:19:06,490
Can I take you up on that drink?

509
00:19:12,964 --> 00:19:14,799
Fuck your pussy. Fuck your pussy.

510
00:19:14,833 --> 00:19:15,883
Fuck my pussy?

511
00:19:15,934 --> 00:19:17,885
Or your pussy is my pussy, or...

512
00:19:17,936 --> 00:19:20,104
- shut up and pound me.
- Okay.

513
00:19:24,810 --> 00:19:27,144
Oh, shit! Ow! Oh, my back.

514
00:19:27,178 --> 00:19:29,847
Holy mother of fuck!

515
00:19:29,865 --> 00:19:31,699
Ow. Help, help.

516
00:19:31,733 --> 00:19:33,350
Why did I let you sit on the sink?

517
00:19:33,368 --> 00:19:35,152
The chick is supposed
to sit on the sink.

518
00:19:35,186 --> 00:19:37,187
That's bathroom boning 101!

519
00:19:37,205 --> 00:19:39,240
I can't move, I'm fucking drowning here.

520
00:19:39,291 --> 00:19:41,208
You're drowning, really?

521
00:19:41,243 --> 00:19:42,710
Yeah, a person can drown
in this amount of water

522
00:19:42,744 --> 00:19:43,878
in certain circumstances.

523
00:19:43,912 --> 00:19:46,464
Oh, God.

524
00:19:46,498 --> 00:19:48,749
Okay, you big baby.

525
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:50,885
Okay. Ow, oh!

526
00:19:50,919 --> 00:19:52,136
- Get over here.
- Oh.

527
00:19:52,170 --> 00:19:53,637
Okay.

528
00:19:53,672 --> 00:19:56,173
Okay, climbing the toilet bowl.

529
00:19:56,207 --> 00:19:57,541
Oh, fuck.

530
00:19:57,559 --> 00:20:00,644
- We're almost home.
- Sit, sit.

531
00:20:02,380 --> 00:20:03,380
Wait.

532
00:20:03,398 --> 00:20:05,850
What the fuck is that?

533
00:20:05,884 --> 00:20:08,519
You had my name tattooed
above your ass crack?

534
00:20:08,553 --> 00:20:09,854
Oh, Jesus, I was drunk.

535
00:20:09,888 --> 00:20:11,772
I don't even remember getting it done.

536
00:20:11,823 --> 00:20:12,940
Charlie.

537
00:20:12,991 --> 00:20:14,742
What? I'm getting it removed. I am.

538
00:20:14,776 --> 00:20:17,244
- No, you're not.
- What?

539
00:20:17,279 --> 00:20:18,612
You like it?

540
00:20:18,663 --> 00:20:20,781
No, I don't like it.
It's fucking retarded.

541
00:20:20,832 --> 00:20:22,032
Ow.

542
00:20:22,066 --> 00:20:24,702
Retarded and sweet...

543
00:20:24,736 --> 00:20:26,203
Just like you, Runkle.

544
00:20:26,237 --> 00:20:28,506
Ow. Ow.

545
00:20:28,540 --> 00:20:31,074
Ow.

546
00:20:31,092 --> 00:20:35,078
I guess I'd better take my
walking wounded home, right?

547
00:20:35,096 --> 00:20:38,432
That's if he ever comes
out of the bathroom.

548
00:20:38,466 --> 00:20:40,050
Are you... are you okay

549
00:20:40,084 --> 00:20:42,186
with, uh, Becca spending the night?

550
00:20:42,220 --> 00:20:43,220
Oh, yeah.

551
00:20:43,254 --> 00:20:44,722
Yeah, of course. It's no problem.

552
00:20:44,756 --> 00:20:45,890
You know, it's nice for the girls

553
00:20:45,924 --> 00:20:48,142
to spend one last sleepover together

554
00:20:48,193 --> 00:20:50,144
before Becca leaves for New York.

555
00:20:50,195 --> 00:20:51,195
Right.

556
00:20:51,229 --> 00:20:52,730
Good luck with that, by the way.

557
00:20:52,764 --> 00:20:54,648
Thank you.

558
00:20:55,951 --> 00:20:57,535
Are you always so civilized?

559
00:20:59,237 --> 00:21:00,371
Well, the wife of a general

560
00:21:00,405 --> 00:21:02,156
has certain responsibilities, you know?

561
00:21:02,207 --> 00:21:03,941
- Of course.
- Uh-huh.

562
00:21:03,959 --> 00:21:06,160
Well...

563
00:21:06,211 --> 00:21:08,829
I'll never be as pretty as I once was.

564
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:10,164
And I'm peeing blood.

565
00:21:10,215 --> 00:21:12,716
I got myself more of a foot soldier...

566
00:21:12,751 --> 00:21:15,636
some cannon fodder, really.

567
00:21:15,670 --> 00:21:18,172
What did I miss?

568
00:21:18,223 --> 00:21:19,957
What did I miss?

569
00:21:19,975 --> 00:21:23,344
Ah, look at that.

570
00:21:23,395 --> 00:21:27,681
One semester ends, another begins.

571
00:21:27,732 --> 00:21:30,017
You gonna do something about that?

572
00:21:30,068 --> 00:21:31,852
What's the point, you know?

573
00:21:31,903 --> 00:21:33,520
Nothing ever really changes around here.

574
00:21:33,572 --> 00:21:35,305
That's the beautiful
thing about academia.

575
00:21:35,323 --> 00:21:37,992
None of us can really
function in the real world,

576
00:21:38,026 --> 00:21:39,743
so that's why we end up here.

577
00:21:39,778 --> 00:21:41,412
It sort of works for everyone, really.

578
00:21:41,446 --> 00:21:42,613
Mm-hmm.

579
00:21:42,647 --> 00:21:44,949
We can't function
anywhere else but here.

580
00:21:44,983 --> 00:21:46,867
Hmm. You can't.

581
00:21:46,918 --> 00:21:48,669
- No, you can't.
- Ignore him.

582
00:21:48,703 --> 00:21:50,537
What's he saying?

583
00:21:50,589 --> 00:21:53,374
Okay, I'm gonna go say
good night to Richard.

584
00:21:53,425 --> 00:21:55,542
No, you can't.

585
00:21:55,594 --> 00:21:57,044
Go. I'm timing you.

586
00:21:57,095 --> 00:21:58,879
Thank you for lunch.

587
00:21:58,930 --> 00:22:00,497
Well, I hope we didn't give you

588
00:22:00,515 --> 00:22:01,882
too hard a time of it today.

589
00:22:01,933 --> 00:22:03,834
No, no worries. I'm fine.

590
00:22:03,852 --> 00:22:06,837
My ass is a little sore,
but that's normal for me.

591
00:22:06,855 --> 00:22:08,555
It's all done with great affection.

592
00:22:08,607 --> 00:22:10,507
You know, you're such a mess,
and you cause such chaos,

593
00:22:10,525 --> 00:22:12,009
but I wouldn't change anything.

594
00:22:12,027 --> 00:22:13,777
- You sure about that?
- Really, truly.

595
00:22:13,812 --> 00:22:16,847
- It was a fabulous disaster.
- Hmm.

596
00:22:16,865 --> 00:22:18,515
Come here. Be happy in New York.

597
00:22:18,533 --> 00:22:19,683
- Oh, there you go.

598
00:22:19,701 --> 00:22:20,734
What about General Sherman?

599
00:22:20,785 --> 00:22:21,869
You gonna let him back in the house?

600
00:22:21,903 --> 00:22:23,070
'Cause if you don't,

601
00:22:23,121 --> 00:22:24,688
I think he's gonna call
in reinforcements...

602
00:22:24,706 --> 00:22:25,956
the cavalry, perhaps.

603
00:22:25,991 --> 00:22:27,524
Mm, he does seem very determined.

604
00:22:27,542 --> 00:22:28,525
Yeah.

605
00:22:28,543 --> 00:22:30,527
Passionate, one might say.

606
00:22:30,545 --> 00:22:33,030
Oh, I do like that in a man.

607
00:22:33,048 --> 00:22:35,866
Felicia, I'm in a fever!

608
00:22:35,884 --> 00:22:37,868
I better go tend to the general.

609
00:22:37,886 --> 00:22:39,369
- Toodle-loo.
- Toodle-loo.

610
00:22:39,387 --> 00:22:41,705
My brow!

611
00:22:43,425 --> 00:22:45,042
Did you ladies have fun

612
00:22:45,060 --> 00:22:46,877
twisting the knife this afternoon?

613
00:22:46,895 --> 00:22:49,379
- Absolutely.
- Too much fun.

614
00:22:49,397 --> 00:22:52,215
Well, I'm so happy that
I could give you a reason

615
00:22:52,233 --> 00:22:55,052
to come together and become friends.

616
00:22:55,070 --> 00:22:56,720
Yeah, we're like bffs now.

617
00:22:56,738 --> 00:22:58,388
She's gonna teach me how to pole-dance.

618
00:22:58,406 --> 00:23:00,658
Mm, such a crying shame, Hank.

619
00:23:00,692 --> 00:23:03,827
Just think of all of
the missed opportunities.

620
00:23:03,862 --> 00:23:04,995
Ow...

621
00:23:06,531 --> 00:23:09,750
- Mm-hmm.
- Moody...

622
00:23:09,784 --> 00:23:11,835
If I hear you've gone and blown it

623
00:23:11,870 --> 00:23:13,504
with this gorgeous filly,

624
00:23:13,538 --> 00:23:17,091
I will kick your ass
and make her my queen.

625
00:23:17,125 --> 00:23:18,842
- Ladies.
- Yes.

626
00:23:18,877 --> 00:23:21,962
- Take care, Karen.
- Bye, have fun.

627
00:23:22,013 --> 00:23:23,580
Bye.

628
00:23:23,598 --> 00:23:26,016
I can't believe I used to love that guy.

629
00:23:26,051 --> 00:23:27,685
- You'll get over it.

630
00:23:27,719 --> 00:23:29,937
Come on, soldier, let's get you home.

631
00:23:29,971 --> 00:23:33,524
You still have battles to
fight, realms to conquer.

632
00:23:33,558 --> 00:23:36,527
The child... what about the child?

633
00:23:36,561 --> 00:23:39,897
The child is staying here tonight.

634
00:23:45,070 --> 00:23:47,037
Oh.

635
00:23:47,072 --> 00:23:48,989
Oh, wow.

636
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,208
No wonder we never did it
in the powder room, huh?

637
00:23:51,242 --> 00:23:53,711
That was... that was
really not pleasant at all.

638
00:23:53,745 --> 00:23:56,130
It wasn't great.

639
00:23:56,164 --> 00:23:58,281
I don't mean the first part, of course.

640
00:23:58,299 --> 00:23:59,550
I meant the second part.

641
00:23:59,584 --> 00:24:01,468
I enjoyed the shit out
of humping you at first.

642
00:24:01,503 --> 00:24:02,803
Yeah, well, we could sleep

643
00:24:02,837 --> 00:24:04,304
knowing we gave the next homeowners

644
00:24:04,339 --> 00:24:06,473
a dirty sink and a plumbing problem.

645
00:24:11,312 --> 00:24:13,463
- Holy shit.
- Mm?

646
00:24:13,481 --> 00:24:14,648
They came...

647
00:24:14,682 --> 00:24:17,484
the divorce papers.

648
00:24:17,519 --> 00:24:21,155
- Whoa.

649
00:24:21,189 --> 00:24:24,408
Big day, Charlie... signing time.

650
00:24:24,442 --> 00:24:26,360
Well, I... I can't move.

651
00:24:26,411 --> 00:24:28,112
You're gonna have to bring me a pen.

652
00:24:36,871 --> 00:24:39,590
Hey, how was the first
part for you, Marce, hmm?

653
00:24:39,624 --> 00:24:40,841
You never said.

654
00:24:40,875 --> 00:24:43,010
Well, what do you want
me to say, Charlie?

655
00:24:43,044 --> 00:24:45,345
The first part with you was great.

656
00:24:45,380 --> 00:24:47,881
It's the last part
that ended in disaster.

657
00:24:47,932 --> 00:24:50,884
Yeah, yeah, but it
doesn't have to, you know?

658
00:24:50,935 --> 00:24:54,188
Because we could keep going, right?

659
00:24:54,222 --> 00:24:57,191
You know, we... we turn the last part

660
00:24:57,225 --> 00:24:58,559
into the middle part.

661
00:24:58,610 --> 00:25:01,779
And what happens when we
get to the next shitty part?

662
00:25:01,813 --> 00:25:04,364
There doesn't have to be a shitty part.

663
00:25:04,399 --> 00:25:06,984
Baby...

664
00:25:07,018 --> 00:25:10,654
there's always a shitty part with us.

665
00:25:16,911 --> 00:25:19,863
Ow.

666
00:25:21,866 --> 00:25:22,916
Hey.

667
00:25:42,220 --> 00:25:44,855
I appreciate the interest, I really do.

668
00:25:44,889 --> 00:25:46,940
- You do?
- Yes, I'm just...

669
00:25:46,991 --> 00:25:48,892
I'm just not sure

670
00:25:48,910 --> 00:25:52,196
I'm in the Moody.

671
00:25:52,230 --> 00:25:53,697
Oh, no.

672
00:25:53,731 --> 00:25:56,399
But I am. I... I really am.

673
00:25:56,417 --> 00:25:58,035
I mean, today was so exciting.

674
00:25:58,069 --> 00:26:00,120
I could, like, totally just, like,

675
00:26:00,171 --> 00:26:02,623
carry on from where we
left off this morning.

676
00:26:02,674 --> 00:26:05,425
My mind and my body are totally in sync.

677
00:26:05,460 --> 00:26:07,127
I'm not sure

678
00:26:07,178 --> 00:26:09,630
that I like the implication of that.

679
00:26:09,681 --> 00:26:13,467
What? It's very sexy for a
man to fight for your honor.

680
00:26:13,518 --> 00:26:14,635
Is it also very sexy

681
00:26:14,686 --> 00:26:16,303
to run into some old
geezer you let bone you

682
00:26:16,354 --> 00:26:17,604
when you were 19 years old?

683
00:26:17,639 --> 00:26:18,972
Well, you know, it just reminded me

684
00:26:19,023 --> 00:26:20,440
of being back at college again,

685
00:26:20,475 --> 00:26:23,260
when life was so
simple, and he was so...

686
00:26:23,278 --> 00:26:26,396
he was so passionate,
so full of enthusiasm.

687
00:26:26,430 --> 00:26:28,315
I know, I know.

688
00:26:28,366 --> 00:26:30,433
He was so big, actually.

689
00:26:30,451 --> 00:26:32,319
Oh, gross.

690
00:26:32,370 --> 00:26:35,822
I mean, not that that matters
or anything, but, um...

691
00:26:35,874 --> 00:26:37,908
Well, you know, right? You saw.

692
00:26:37,942 --> 00:26:39,159
- I saw nothing.
- The whole deal.

693
00:26:39,210 --> 00:26:41,778
As far as I know, the
man is a hermaphrodite.

694
00:26:41,796 --> 00:26:43,664
- Really? God, he was...

695
00:26:43,715 --> 00:26:46,500
he was, like, the hottest
assistant professor

696
00:26:46,551 --> 00:26:47,834
on the campus.

697
00:26:47,886 --> 00:26:49,753
Everybody wanted to sleep with him.

698
00:26:49,787 --> 00:26:50,888
My friends were so jealous.

699
00:26:50,922 --> 00:26:53,173
One time we were doing it in his office,

700
00:26:53,224 --> 00:26:55,509
and there was, like,
this line down the hall...

701
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:56,727
Okay, that's it.

702
00:26:56,761 --> 00:27:00,463
- I demand satisfaction.
- Yes, yes, it worked!

703
00:27:00,481 --> 00:27:03,300
Good. Mm. Are you gonna punish me?

704
00:27:03,318 --> 00:27:04,651
You do know I'm gonna have to live

705
00:27:04,686 --> 00:27:06,570
with that image in my head
for the rest of my life.

706
00:27:06,604 --> 00:27:08,071
I know.

707
00:27:10,992 --> 00:27:12,976
I'm just not sure that
my mind and my body

708
00:27:12,994 --> 00:27:14,978
are in sync either.

709
00:27:14,996 --> 00:27:16,813
You know, the... the events of the day,

710
00:27:16,831 --> 00:27:19,482
all this fun you've had,
it's bruised my mind.

711
00:27:19,500 --> 00:27:20,817
It's traumatized me.

712
00:27:20,835 --> 00:27:24,321
It may very well undermine
my ability to please you.

713
00:27:24,339 --> 00:27:26,089
Really?

714
00:27:26,124 --> 00:27:28,959
No, not really.

715
00:27:28,977 --> 00:27:36,979
Sync by honeybunny - corrected by chamallow35
www.addic7ed.com